Archive | October 2012

Random: In Meeting Men…

This was a topic given to me by How To Online Date (thank you!! :-)) back in my post at the beginning of the month.  She asked which method she felt has gotten me the best dates.  It’s like she read my mind, because throughout the process of writing my blog, I’ve looked back to see how I’ve met each guy and whether it worked or didn’t work.  I just never thought about writing about it.  So here we go.

Meeting between two screens….

Online Dating: To be honest, I’ve never been a fan of the idea of online dating.  I feel that it’s very superficial in some sense and I don’t like the idea of meeting someone inorganically (for lack of a better term).  I already have enough of a problem with men only liking women for their aesthetic features and not anything else, and I feel online dating further implements this.  Granted, I know this method has worked out well for many people, but it’s just not me.  But because I wanted to try all outlets, I joined one dating website called What’s Your Price, as suggested by a friend.  Basically, you get paid to go on dates.  So far, I’ve been on 4 dates from this website (and 1 “text date”, if you will), and I’ve gotten a 50/50 success rate.  While the 50% that turned up good was actually really good and I enjoyed the dates even more than some of the other guys I’ve met in other ways, the 50% that were bad were really bad.  Granted, those really bad dates were also with older men (40+), so maybe that was my issue.  Also, with online dating, I feel it’s more so a job than anything else.  I have to make sure I message these guys back in a certain amount of time, otherwise they wonder if I’m still there or not.  If I slack and forget to check the website, it’s like I have to start all over again when trying to find guys.  Plus a lot of the time, these guys will say they want to go on a date, then nothing ever happens after we agree to do it.  Correspondences seem to cease.  Maybe if I joined another site, like POF or OKCupid, I’d get better results.  But I’m just not convinced on the whole concept of online dating to begin with, that the incentive What’s Your Price gives me at least some motivation to go through with it.  Overall though, I’d have to say I’m still sticking to not being a fan of online dating.

Dates from What’s Your Price:

Not true, but sometimes…..;-)

Mutual Friends: Oh my lovely, lovely friends.  How they know me, and don’t know me all at the same time.  Again, this is kind of like with the online dating, where it’s been very 50/50 (but I guess that’s everything in life…).  I’ve met some amazing guys through some friends (like “Indian Warrior” who introduced me to “Mr. Big (Present)”…and when I say introduce, I mean more so made us make out randomly at a bar) and some weird ass guys through other friends (I’m not even going to mention you all…).  I think “Indian Warrior” (she chose that nickname by the way, I was gonna go with “Indian Princess” because it sounded better) takes the cake on introducing me to the best guys, and maybe that’s just because she knows me very well, or knows some normal, amazing guys…or maybe a bit of both.  But I’ve definitely had the most success with guys she has introduced me to.  All the others either don’t know me as well as they think they do, or the guys they set me up with just aren’t my type and they were setting me up just for the sake of setting me up.  I will say that I have better success meeting guys through friends though than I do through online dating.

Dates from Mutual Friends:

Men From My Past: This method of finding men for my blog is consistent with the two in that it’s been 50/50, though I will say that that ratio is depending on who we are talking about from my past.  If it was a friend/acquaintance, the date was amazing (or at least good).  If it was a guy from my past who I dated, wanted to date me, had some sort of feelings for me, etc., the outcome wasn’t as great.  While I can’t say I never do this, I do believe that there is a reason why a guy is in your past (the same goes for men with girls in their past).  And although I do feel that sometimes you can work things out and that maybe you just needed time to sort through things, the likelihood of that happening isn’t very high.  A past is a past for a reason.  I do have to attest that meeting men for my blog this way is better in the sense that the dates are never awkward since I already know them to a certain extent.  There’s none of those getting-to-know-you type questions or other awkward type shit.  But the downfall is the fact that they’re in my past, and they’re obviously there for a reason, so bringing them into the future is regressing a bit.

Dates from My Collection of Men from the Past:

Random Meetings: I think it’s obvious that this has proven to be the most effective method for me in meeting men…well at least in my opinion, who actually knows if these guys are good for me or not haha.  But for me, when I meet a guy, it’s about the initial attraction, the chemistry, the way they carry themselves.  I am able to determine for myself whether they fit the qualities that I look for in a man from the get-go.  Obviously, there are times where my initial intuition is incorrect, but I like to know that at least it is my own fault for picking a loser rather than someone else’s stupidity or a false facade as is proven in online dating.  Plus I like meeting new men on my own because nothing feels forced and there’s no obligation.  It’s sheer desire.

Dates from Random Meetings:

If anyone can think of any good places where they like to meet people, please comment below!!  I’d love to hear everyone else’s ideas and opinions on meeting people.  😉

Date #29: “Animated Faux”

How We Met: On What’s Your Price.  He “winked” at me maybe a week ago and we’ve been talking a bit since.  I was surprised that he agreed to it because I set my price fairly high (I think) for this particular date ($100).  I’m not into old guys whatsoever and this guy is 49, so I price myself high for oldies in order to see who is really committed.  Anyways, I’m gonna start this off by being 100% honest and admitting that the #1 motivation for me to even go on this date was the $100 price tag.  Since I’m on a bit of a hiatus at my job, I figured why not make some extra cash.  Can you blame a girl?  So I went on this date with my eye on the target…the $100.

-Rating:

*Physical Aesthetics: 8 (for an old dude)

*Appearance: 6 (dressed like an old dude…I guess that’s expected)

*Personality: 6

*Manners: 6 & 9 (I’ll explain)

*Intelligence: 9

*Confidence: 4 & 10 (I’ll explain this as well)

*Overall Rating: 6

The Date: So I am still pretty upset about this, and there’s a reason why I prefaced this post by talking about the money….HE DIDN’T FUCKING GIVE ME THE MONEY!!!!  Yes, I know, this makes me sound like a total materialistic bitch, but the whole point of What’s Your Price is going on a date and being paid at the end.  It’s the deal.  In fact, the website even says you can take someone to small claims court if they don’t give you the money because it’s a written agreement.  Anyways…on to the actual date.

I really didn’t want to go on this date.  I really don’t like older men.  Once upon a time when I was a child (like literally, elementary school and middle school), I always thought older men were so attractive.  When I grew up and actually started dating, I realized how much I like guys my own age.  It just makes sense.  So I was already not wanting to go on this date.  Plus he was having me drive almost an hour away just to go on the date and I didn’t want to drive that far.  Luckily, it started snowing the night before so I thought I could use the excuse that I didn’t want to drive that far in the snow and what not.  Unfortunately, the roads ended up not being bad whatsoever the next day so I had to keep my word and go on the date.

I get to the restaurant and apparently he had already told the hosts who I was and that I was meeting him because I get there and they already know who I’m meeting.  They take me to the table where he is waiting.  Looked exactly like he did in his profile pictures.  He initially started off as a really cool guy and we had lots to talk about.  Theater, traveling, food, working out…the conversation flowed very nicely!  Plus the food was delicious, so that most definitely added to the date.  On a random side note, at one point he had mentioned that he was a Scorpio and he asked if that went well with Geminis.  If you read my previous post about Geminis, you’ll know I know a bit about/have a fascination with astrological signs.  So of course I knew that although a Scorpio and a Gemini is not a classical pairing, it can work.  But was I about to tel him that?  Nope.  So I acted like I had never encountered a Scorpio before (Mr. Big (Present) is one).  The one thing that was different about this date in comparison to all the other What’s Your Price dates I’ve been on is that we actually talked about that website itself.  I made up a half lie saying that my friend thought I would enjoy that website (true).  I left out the part that I’m writing a blog about dating and need some victims dates to write about.  He joined the website because he said that older women couldn’t keep up with him and that he needed someone who wasn’t boring.  Initially, I had a feeling that maybe he was gay because of his mannerisms (extremely animated) and the way he said things (very effeminate).  But I think everyone is gay (I love gay men) so I’m sure I’m just crazy.  Anyways, I honestly thought the date would be done after lunch since that was the plan.  But then he told me that he wanted the date to continue even though he didn’t have anything else planned (I guess usually he plans out a whole day because, in his words, “he’s a romantic”, but the last girl he went on a date with didn’t like what he planned last time and she was close to my age, so he didn’t plan anything for this date).  Since my price for this was $100, I figured what the hell, I might as well just do it.  We ended up just going to a Starbucks and getting tea.  In my opinion, this is where things started going downhill.

So we got tea and he suggested we sit in this lounge area located in the corner of the Starbucks.  I chose the single person couch because I wasn’t feeling very well and I didn’t want him to be super close to me.  I had noticed at lunch he was scooting  closer to me even though I wasn’t give him any indication that’s what I wanted.  So although I picked the single person couch, he managed to find a way to move closer to me, to the point that I was really uncomfortable.  This is why I gave him the rating I did for manners.  I have a bubble, and I don’t want anyone in it…unless I give very clear, blatant signals that you can join me in my bubble.  I tried moving further away, but that’s not really possible in a single person couch.  We started talking about what we enjoy doing on weekends nights, and of course I enjoy going out to the bars with my friends like many people in their mid-twenties.  He more so enjoys low-key things, such as dinner and dancing (but not at clubs, at old people places).  It was here when I realized that he is one of those older gentleman who are trying to act much younger than his age, hence why I gave him the rating I did for confidence.  He told me he could tell I liked dancing and that I must go to a lot of dance clubs.  And of course, I do.  But the places I mentioned and the places that he mentioned were vastly different.  He talked a lot about going out, and he made it sound like he’s all about going out, but I could tell we had a different idea of what “going out” meant.  He definitely was trying to compete with me, saying that he goes out late and stays out late and really knows how to party.  Then I made the comment that it’s a bit tacky to watch older folk out at the bars late at night, acting crazier than the younger kids.  That definitely made him think a bit.  The funny thing is he said that he joined the website to find girls to keep up with him, yet there is no way this old man could have ever kept up with me.  Not sure if he ever thought about it the other way around.  The conversation pretty much declined after this.  I wasn’t feeling well (probably self-inflicted since I didn’t want to be there with him anymore) so we cut our date shortly after getting tea.

And the kicker….he walked  me to my car, said he had a great time, and left.  You’re probably wondering what’s wrong with that…NO OFFER OF MONEY WHATSOEVER!!  Every other guy I’ve been on a date with from that website has given me the money at the end of the date, no questions or reminders needed.  So I was pretty perturbed that he didn’t even try to give me anything or say he had no intentions of paying.  About 5 minutes later, when I’m already kind of upset that I had spent all that time and driven almost an hour away from where I live for this date, I get a phone call from him.  I try not to talk on the phone and drive at the same time (driving stick keeps all my limbs busy…I just can’t multitask like that), so I let it go to voice mail.  I listened to the voice mail and it was about the money.  He said that he was really sorry that he had completely forgotten about it and that if we went out again, he would be sure to have the money for me then.  He kept apologizing and then said something about “he wishes me well.”  And while maybe he did legitimately forget about the money, it just seemed all too convenient for him to not give me the money this time in order to assure a second date.

*Positives: Very nice older man, very smart, is very cultured so he has a bunch to talk about, kept conversation going the entire time

*Negatives: He didn’t give me my money, he’s definitely fake in the sense that he’s trying to act a lot younger than his age, he entered my bubble a little too much, he kept creepily staring at me even though it was clear I was not reciprocating those feelings, he could not ever, ever, ever keep up with me, he’s old

Second Date?: Unlikely.  Even the promise of $100 couldn’t get me to go on another date with this guy.  I think I’ve had my fill of older men to last me a lifetime.

Date #28: “Bashful”

How We Met: We met on the (now…in my opinion) infamous dating website that I am part of, What’s Your Price.  He had “winked” at me awhile back and although after I looked at his profile I didn’t find anything of substantial interest, I did think that he seemed somewhat physically attractive.  And since I’m not really saying no to anyone (with the exception of those cheating married bastards and guys who live extremely far away from me), I figured I’d give it a shot.  It did worry me a bit that his profile said he had just gotten out of a relationship, because in my head that was a sign that he was one of those guys who needs to be in a relationship and that he was just trying to find a new person to cling on.  This notion was further corroborated in a message he sent me asking me if I was open to being in a relationship (RED FLAG, RED FLAG).  We had intended on going to dinner a couple of weeks ago but things kept getting in the way.  Finally we found a night where we were both free.  To be honest, I was a bit apprehensive to go on this date (it seems this is a constant in a lot of my dates….).  I’m getting to that point where I haven’t been as excited to go on dates and I feel like it’s more of a job than actually trying to find someone.  And I mean, the whole point of my blog was to eventually find someone.  So with that whole aspect kind of missing, I’ve been bumming.  Anyways, for the sake of my blog and the fact that I hadn’t posted a date post in awhile, I figured I’d go on the date.

-Rating:

*Physical Aesthetics: 8

*Appearance: 6

*Personality: 7

*Manners: 5

*Intelligence: 10

*Confidence: 6

*Overall Rating: 8

The Date: I’m not going to lie….the date went a lot better than I had expected.  And after having gone on it, I am actually very happy that I agreed to go on the date and that I met up with this guy.

“Bashful” decided to pick a restaurant that I have actually been wanting to try for awhile and haven’t gotten around to doing so, so I was actually pretty stoked to go to this restaurant.  I got there a bit early so I sat at the bar and chatted with the bartender.  Of course, like every other bar I go to, I made friends with the bartender and he made me a delicious custom drink with cognac, St. Germain, and a hint of yellow chartreuse.  It was DELICIOUS!  I never thought cognac was something I would enjoy, but the way he made the drink was delicious.

Anyways, when “Bashful” arrived, I was actually kind of awestruck.  While he looked fairly attractive in his profile picture, he was a lot better looking in person than I thought he would be.  Ya, he dressed a little frumpy, but he had just such a sweet face.  We got a table and initially, it was super awkward.  I have a feeling he doesn’t online date (granted, he DID write that he had just gotten out of a relationship on his profile) or know how to make a good first impression to begin with, because I felt like I was doing a lot of the talking.  And while I do love talking, it gets a bit awkward when I’m doing 90% of it.  So I started asking him a bunch of questions (I didn’t know what else to do…) and that most definitely got the conversation flowing.  I found out that he was an English major (as was I!!) and actually ended up getting his MA in English as well.  In addition to that, he also got his MBA in Finance.  This lead to our conversation on the fact that he used to teach English at a community college, but decided not to take that route this semester in order to further work on himself and what he really wants to do in life and to work on a business that he started with some people (in the coffee industry, roasting coffee and selling it to business).  The fact that we had our degrees in common was really exciting for me because I love finding other English majors.  We talked a lot about that…pretty much the basis of the majority of our conversation.  His main focus for English was in the psychoanalysis of literature which was really interesting to me, since mine was creative writing (hence the blog…I’ll eventually write about this in particular).  But psychoanalysis has always fascinated me in literature, so to hear someone’s take on it who truly studied it was awesome.  He started talking about how even how men and women communicate (or more so the lack of the ability to communicate properly) has everything to do with psychoanalysis.  With this he gave me the example of porn.  No joke.  But don’t worry, it’s actually a really smart analysis.  Anyways, he gave the dichotomy of there being male porn and female porn.  Male porn is completely devoid of emotion; he referred to this as “absent desire.”  It’s just straight to the point with no feelings involved whatsoever.  Where as female porn has desire, there’s usually dialogue or some sort of conversation going on besides just straight sex.  Emotion is a huge factor in female porn.  And when you think of it, even if some of us ladies like hardcore porn, he really does have a point.  It’s why we like things such as Twilight (not me, but I’m sure others do) and Fifty Shades of Grey. (Seriously, Wikipedia should love me for how many times I reference things back to their site) And it’s SO true!  He related this back to communication between men and women in that women speak from emotion, while men do not.  Obviously, this isn’t always true, but as a generalization, it most definitely is.  His knowledge about this and just how easy it was for him to turn something like porn into a completely psychoanalytical subject just blew my mind.

While we talked a lot about him, he didn’t really ask me much about myself, which I guess was okay.  Just kind of weird since in his initial message to me he said he wanted to ask me a bunch of things.  The date ended much earlier than I had expected (I had prepared myself for a long night of boring conversation and it only ended up last about 1 hour and 45 minutes), which was both good and bad.  Good in the sense that I don’t really like staying out late on weeknights, but bad in the sense that I actually really enjoyed this guy’s company and I was sad to see it come to such a quick end.  But he was tired from working all day, which is something I completely understand.  We ended the night with a hug and went our separate ways.

*Positives: He’s cute, he’s smart, he has two masters, he majored in English (like myself), he’s super busy with work and life in general, he’s a bit awkward (but in a very endearing way), he’s a total foodie

*Negatives: He’s a bit awkward, he waited for me to bring up things to talk about (but maybe he was just really shy?), he’s just as busy as me, if not even more, his manners aren’t exactly up to par (didn’t walk me to my car really, didn’t let me walk out of the restaurant first, didn’t hold the door open, etc.)

Second Date?: I really do hope so, despite some of his negative qualities, he seemed like a really cool guy that I could find myself actually liking a lot.  =)

Random: An Insight Into My Dating Life (Story #1)

So sorry about not writing  about dates, I haven’t really been in the mood to go on them lately.  Also, I’ve been lacking in choices of men to go on dates with.

Anyways, this is a post inspired by the suggestion of both Matt79 and Miss JC.  I’ve tweaked it a little in the sense that I’m giving a snippet of my dating life in opposed to a whole summary, because that’s just exhausting.  If you want my dating history in a nutshell, it’s basically a collection of all the wrong men.  Short and simple.  But today I will give everyone a glimpse of my freshman year of college….

Freshman year of college was probably one of the most eye-opening, amazing experiences in my life…that I would never, ever relive.  Haha.  From living in the dorms with a bunch of strangers, to all the ridiculous parties I went to, saying it was an experience is almost an understatement.

Our dorms were co-ed, with the guys living on one side of the floor and the girls living on the other.  I had a really hard time making friends with the girls initially, which was really weird for me because I was such a social person in high school.  So I ended up becoming friends with all the guys…naturally.  I initially had a thing with one of them, but he turned out to be a complete asshole so that ended pretty quick.  But his neighbor and me became extremely close.  We’ll just go ahead and nickname this one “First” (no, I didn’t lose my v-card to him, he was just the first guy I really, truly, wholeheartedly cared about and thought I really was in love with).

We had met the same time I had met all the other guys, and him and his roommate seemed to be the most normal guys on the floor.  They had grown up about 2 or 3 cities away from where I had grown up, so that was also comforting considering almost everyone else was from the East coast.  I hung out with “First” and his roommate a lot, going to parties with them and basically seeing them everyday.  I’m not too sure when “First” and I became as close as we did, but we started hanging out just by ourselves without our friends.  A lot.  (Sidenote: a lot of my freshman year was a drunken blur, so I apologize for any inconsistencies in writing this)  I remember every morning, he’d come get me from my side of the dorm and we’d go to breakfast together.  Then go to classes, meet up after classes, go to dinner together, then just spend the rest of our night together.  This was literally an everyday thing.  Initially he had been in this open relationship thing with this girl he had been dating in high school, but then that fizzled pretty fast.  Probably because me and him would spend the night together quite often (weirdly enough, nothing sexual…seriously, I don’t know what it is with me and all these non-sexual guys, fuck that shit) , and we had mentioned something about it in a message on  Facebook (which she had his password for).  Anyways, we continued this for several months, from the first semester of freshman year to 2 months shy of freshman year ending.  And initially, it was wonderful.  He was great – he would do anything for me.  In fact, I was so upset one night and didn’t want to even go out, but him and his friends had intended on going out.  Last minute, as I was walking up to my dorm having said goodbye to him and his friends, he comes rushing in and decides he doesn’t want to go to the party either and wants to just hang out with me.  Seriously, that kind of great.  I remember for Christmas, we bought each other pretty expensive stuff, and for him not really having a job I was pretty impressed.  Later on in the year, he mentioned that he “loved” me (there’s a reason that’s in quotes), and of course I said it back.  I truly believed this was the guy for me – I thought he was perfect.  He was everything I looked for in a guy (smart, funny, attractive, plays sports (soccer), played piano (very well at that), kind, caring, etc.) and so much more!!  But of course, with every great story, there’s always a downfall….

What Disney wants us to think love is…

He always referred to us as just friends.  Even though we hung out on every spare chance we got, spent the night together a couple of times a week, knew everything about one another, even met (on numerous occasions) each other’s parents (his parents loved me, didn’t understand why he had ever dated that other girl to begin with and said I was much better), there was no reference to being boyfriend and girlfriend.  Granted, everyone thought we were, but between us there was no acknowledgement of that.  I was under the assumption that maybe he just didn’t want the title or whatever (yes dumb on my part).  He was everything to me…I even changed myself to be of his liking.  I’ve always been a girly girl and have loved getting done up with the makeup and the hair and the sexy outfits all the time…but he didn’t like that.  So I stopped wearing a ton of makeup, wearing  no makeup most of the time, bought more conservative outfits and what not.  He also didn’t like to go out very much, so I found myself staying in a LOT and not partying.  For me, I was doing what he wanted to do so I was okay with it.  The “breaking point” happened when I decided to officially tell him how I felt about him (as if saying “I love you” and hanging out all the time didn’t already say that).  I got super drunk with my best friend, “Tinky Winky Pooh Bear” and when he got home from wherever he was, I spilled it all.  Obviously, I was drunk at the time so I didn’t remember exactly what happened, but I know it wasn’t good.  I remember him saying something along the lines of not liking me “like that” and when he said he loved me, it was like a little sister.  (WHAT THE FUCK?  Who the hell spends that much time and spends the night with their sister?! )

I was devastated.  I had literally spent all those months with this guy, hanging out with him constantly, telling him everything about myself, emotionally involving myself with him completely…all for nothing.  Since this was my “first real love,” I became super depressed.  I stopped eating, stopped going to class, and started drinking profusely.  I would cry every night to my best friend about the situation.  But little did I know that this was all for the best…

After this whole situation went down, I realized that I had become something that I wasn’t.  I had always been the girly girl, loving to get dolled up, and wearing something (somewhat) scandalous.  I loved being social and going out every weekend.  But with him, I didn’t do any of those things.  I had completely changed who I was just for this guy.  I also didn’t have very many friends after him and I realized that I had ditched everyone for this one guy.  So while it took me awhile to realize all this, I think my situation with him was a learning experience in the end.  It made me realize that I shouldn’t change myself for any guy, no matter the situation or how much he claims to care about me – a guy should love me for me, faults and everything.  A guy should also let me be who I am and not try to change me (which I felt like he did).  I also realized that I should never ditch my friends for any guy.  And this is why I strongly believe that a relationship should be the association of two individuals, not two people coming together to become one entity.  A person must be their own person in a relationship, not the creation of someone else, or an appendage of a whole. 

So life went on for me, and this forced me to do a lot of things I am now grateful for.  I became friends with my neighbor in the dorms (who I am still close to to this day =), love you if you’re reading this!! ), I ended up hanging out with another group of guys who are now some of my bestest friends ever, and I went back to being myself.  I will say that I am thankful that he got me to stop wearing so much makeup, because while I still do enjoy getting dolled up with fancy makeup and hair, I realized I am just as amazing without it.  =)  But all in all, I was much happier without him than I had been with him, even though it took me awhile to figure that out.

What happened to “First”?  Well…he kind of went off the deep end.  Seems to be a trend with the guys I have some type of intense relationship with.  After freshman year, he decided to go to Alaska to go deep sea fishing for awhile.  We tried being friends after that, but apparently I had “changed” too much for him.  He stopped talking to pretty much everyone he had been friends with and became super introverted (or more so reverted back to his introverted ways).  No one I know really talks to him anymore.  We did speak over Facebook chat sometime at the beginning of this year, and he admitted the only time he felt okay being social was with me, and that I brought out that quality in him.

Random: Why I Have Yet to Find “TOWWETB”

This was a topic suggested to me by New Single Guy (thanks for the suggestion!!  =) ).  In a nutshell (or you can just refer to my post “Whooah, (I’m) halfway there…”  in the comments section) he was curious as to what my thoughts were on why I’ve made it to 25 dates and have found something wrong with each of them.

If I forgot what I wanted and just went for what I deserved, I’d be the most miserable person in the world. So no. No, thank you. Whoever came up with this saying is a dumbass.

I’m going to start off this post by admitting that there are actually some guys that I’ve written about that I do/did like and would have actually considered dating.  For example, and maybe my post about him didn’t make this clear but, I thought “Boss Man” was actually really awesome and I was surprised at how much I could actually see myself dating him.  The only issue with him is that when it comes to being a workaholic, he takes the cake.  I look at myself being a workaholic, and then I look at him and he beats me by 100%.  That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it is when neither of us have time to even get together to hang out.  We’ve been trying to find time to hang out, but he’s now working 6 days a week till about 3-4 am everyday, which means he sleeps during the day.  It’s a bit difficult to find time in that situation.  Another person I would date is “Perfect Ass” ; his mom has even made mention before on how she wishes I would date him.  The only issue with that is he lives in another state (and now has a girlfriend).  Plus, I dated his friend “Dolphin Teeth” for a year off and on, so that may or may not make things awkward (not for me, but for him maybe, or “Dolphin Teeth”…not that I give a shit about him).  Also, I’m so close to him and his family, if something happened between us that wasn’t good, I wouldn’t just be losing a friend, I’d be losing a bunch of friends. And of course, “The Artist”.  I would love nothing more than to have a chance to date him and ge to know him better.  Only problem is, he lives in New York.  And I’m not about to do long distance with someone I barely know.

But enough about them.  Here is a list of reasons why I think I’ve made it to 25 Dates without having found “The One Who Will End This Blog”:

1.) I’m Very Picky: Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those people who will completely write someone off because they’re not “perfect” or because they don’t fit every single thing I desire in a man.  But at the same time, I’m not going to go for a guy just because he’s good to me, takes care of me, or treats me well.  Call me cheesy, but as the saying goes, I won’t settle for anything less than butterflies.  If a guy doesn’t entice me, doesn’t make me take notice, doesn’t make me feel like I just want to jump on him every minute (okay maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but you get my point)…then why should I date him?  I’ve settled in the past and it was the most miserable I had ever been.  Chemistry is extremely important to me and I won’t settle for anything less than that.  A guy can have all the qualities I desire, but if I don’t feel that chemistry, I just can’t do it.  This is extremely important to me, so I think this is the main reason as to my inability to find “TOWWETB”.

2.) I’m Scared: I think deep down inside (or maybe in a shallower area of my body), something in me is scared….terrified of finding “TOWWETB”.  I know that doesn’t mean I am stuck for life and that I have to marry the dude and live happily ever after with him, but I think I’m still scared.  Just like every other female in the world, I over think things.  What if he ends up being the wrong guy for me altogether and I end up wasting precious years of my life with him when I could have been playing the field?  What if he turns out to be the right guy and I never kiss/fuck another guy in my life again?  What if I turn out to be like a lot of people I know and end up just settling for him, even though deep down inside I don’t even really like him that much? (ha, that one would probably never happen)  What if the right guy DOES come along, but I’m dating Mr. Wrong and I don’t get my chance?  What if something much better comes along and for some reason I can’t get out of whatever it is with the guy I’m with?  So many “what if’s” and I know it’s silly to think that way, but I can’t help it.

Yep. Haha.

3.) I’m Very (probably too) Independent: I know every girl likes to think they’re independent and say they’re independent, but I seriously am to the very extreme.  Sometimes, the mere thought of having to see someone or talk to someone everyday sickens me.  Granted I’ve done it in the past with people I like and definitely had issues with it, but I got used to it.  Still.  There are moments where I think, “Fuck, do I SERIOUSLY have to hang out with them everyday, and if not everyday, at least a couple of times a week?” I love my independence, perhaps a bit too much.  I like the idea of not having to answer to anyone, of not having to worry about whether I’m upsetting someone by my actions, not having to feel I’m being tied down in any way whatsoever, being able to do whatever I want, whenever I want.  I also really value my alone time.  Especially as of late, I’ve really just wanted to be alone.  Since I’m so busy, having alone time is very far and few between, so the last thing I want to do is spend my alone time with someone else.  Ew.

4.) I’m Having Too Much Fun Being Single: I’ve gotta say, being single is pretty damn fun!!  Again, going back to the independence thing, I like the fact that I don’t have to answer to anyone, that I don’t have to feel obligated to hang out with someone, that I’m not required to talk to someone everyday and if I don’t, their feelings are hurt…just the little things like that.  Plus, I have a lot of guy friends.  I know all girls say that, but when I say I do, it’s so many that when I date a guy they’re a bit intimidated by the fact that most of my friends are guys.  And I’m not about to drop my friends just because of some guy I’m dating.  Lastly…being single means lots of free booze.  I’m sure if I was with someone I’d still get free booze, but being single it’s guaranteed.  Don’t get me wrong, I will buy myself a drink if need be, but half the time I’m being told to put away my card or cash.  So really, it’s how I survive life. 

5.) I’m Competitive: This reason has everything to do with my blog.  Being a competitive person, if I set myself a goal that I know is achievable, or even a bit harder than achievable but still achievable, I will get to my goal.  Nothing can stop me.  I put myself in this mindset and become so determined.  It’s like a competition against myself.  So this blog is kind of a win lose situation for me.  While I do eventually want to find someone, it’s still a numbers game and I have yet to get to that goal number.  Maybe I will look back once I’m done (If I finish, I’m so fucking behind…) and realize one of these guys actually was “TOWWETB”.  Or maybe I’ll just find him along the way.  =)

I love this one =)

Random: A Tribute

So this has absolutely nothing to do with dating, but I felt I needed to make a tribute on here for Jessica Ridgeway.  For all of you who don’t know her story, she was abducted last Friday morning on her way to school.  There had been many tips saying she was seen in other states and what not.  Sometime yesterday, they found a body about 7 miles away from her home, but the body was dismembered and so mutilated that they weren’t able to identify who the body belonged to.  Not long ago, they confirmed that the body was indeed Jessica’s.  She was only 10-years-old.

This hits home for me for two reasons:

1.) I love children more than anything in this world.  I myself am not ready to have children anytime soon, but I would do anything for them, no matter whose child it is.  I think they’re the most precious things ever and they’re so innocent and naive, yet so intelligent in that they’re aware of everything and have no discretion.  They say what’s on their mind, ask a bunch of questions, and notice more things than adults do.  In fact, sometimes I enjoy conversing with them better than adults.  They’re just so much more fun.  Ask anyone who knows me in person, it’s ridiculous my love for the little people of the world.

2.) This little girl lives about 5 miles away from me.  Yep.  The place where her body was found is somewhere I’ve passed many a times on my way to my friend’s house back in the day.  The fact that a 10-year-old girl was not only abducted, but brutally murdered in the area that I live in, an area that’s relatively calm and quiet, truly scares the shit out of me.  There’s a sick, fucked up, disgusting person out there that’s just walking around free, most likely proud of themselves for what they did.  It sickens me so much to know that this pathetic excuse of a person is still out there living their life, yet an innocent little soul such as Jessica has lost her life so young.  Literally, I’m on the brink of tears even writing this.  Honestly, I hope the person who did this to this little girl fucking suffers a horrible, painful death, and I hope they are found soon; not just for the safety of everyone in the community, but for retribution.

Now, I don’t care if you’re religious or not, but please, please keep Jessica Ridgeway in your prayers, and if not that, then at least in your thoughts today.  Criminals like the one who took this little girl’s life need to be obsolete, and the only way this can happen is if everyone becomes aware and is educated.

Rest in Peace Jessica, you’ll be in our hearts forever.

Date #27: “Needy”

Note: Yes, we’re back to the pseudo-dates!!  This wasn’t actually a date, but you could pretty much consider it one the way things went.

How We Met: I met him through What’s Your Price.  He seemed like a decent man, according to his profile he is looking for “wifey material” so I thought I’d give it a try.  Not saying I’m anywhere near being ready to get married or settle down, I just thought it was sweet that he wasn’t just looking for a one night stand.  We started messaging each other and eventually I gave him my number.  And here’s where things go downhill….

-Rating (all based off website and correspondences):

*Physical Aesthetics: 6

*Appearance: 6

*Personality: 4

*Manners: N/A

*Intelligence: 4

*Confidence: 4

*Overall Rating: 4

The “Date”: So actually, this is happening/ending as I’m writing this.  I was supposed to eventually go on a date with this guy, but I’ve been so busy with work, writing in this blog, working on myself, and trying to fit in a social life somewhere in between, that I haven’t gotten around to doing so.  I’m pretty sure sometime during our earlier correspondences  I told him I was busy and that I would let him know when I was available to hang out, but apparently this guy did not understand what being busy meant.  He continued to text me quite a bit.  Now, this is obviously not an issue because what girl doesn’t love a guy texting her, and showering her with attention??  The issue arose when he would text me, and not even 5-10 minutes after texting me, if I hadn’t responded, he would ask me, “Are you awake?” or “Are you asleep?”  This becomes an issue because if I was indeed sleeping, would I fucking write back?  NO YOU FUCKING DUMBASS.  Also, is a guy that needy (for lack of a better term) that he needs me to respond immediately to his text messages and if I don’t, he has to wonder where I am and what I am doing?  Seriously, so obnoxious.  So having already been extremely irritated with this guy, I was already not wanting to meet up with him.  But I figured since I’m still doing this blog, I might as well just go along with it.  That is until tonight.  I will be posting our latest correspondences for you to all enjoy (my commentary will be in parenthetical; also,  I guess this would be a good example as to why I should get a smartphone instead of typing out our entire conversation…):

Telephone call from “Needy”….I choose to ignore this because I haven’t had “me” time in a while, where I can just sit in peace and quiet by myself.  So yeah.

1 Minute later, text from “Needy”: hello how are you just thought I’d say hi (by the way, I’m writing this all verbatim, so any spelling errors is intentional, I am an excellent speller)

-8 Minutes later, text from “Needy”: Are you still up? (Seriously??  What if I was pooping or something and I couldn’t get to my phone??  I wasn’t, but I’m just saying, it could happen)

-Moi (and here is where all the built up annoyance from our earlier correspondences is released): Wow seriously you have got to calm down…1 phone call and two text messages??…that’s pretty intense and comes off as extremely needy…not an attractive quality.  I am not always by my phone so I can’t answer immediately.  I am not in a place where I can answer phone calls at the moment. (That was a lie on my part)  You don’t have much experience with girls do you?

“Needy”: You can take it how you want to I just wanted to say hi n I have enough experience with girls how am I supposed to know you busy u never let me know that (actually I did, earlier this week I told him I was booked until next week).

“Needy” (2 minutes later): You gave me your number to call you correct? If you didn’t want me calling you shoulda gave it to me wat kinda experiAnce you gat with guys or are you the flaky wishy washy type I just thought you’d be different

-Moi: I’m pretty sure I said in an earlier correspondence that I’m a very busy person.  And yes I did give you my number so we could speak to one another, but I did not expect someone who needed copious amounts of immediate attention. (Okay, so maybe I’m being a little dramatic here…but just a little!)  I am not flaky (for people I care about…), I’m just a busy person.  I think you need someone who is as dependent as you, and unfortunately that is not me.  So I wish you good luck in your journey of finding that.  (I thought that was nice of me…yeah?)

-“Needy”: Watever.  Peace

-“Needy” (3 minutes later): And I’m not dependent or needy I just don’t play games so maybe you need someone as busy as you don’t try n make me seem desperate cause that aint me I’m just not a workaholic like you (Okay that’s fair, I may be a tad bit of a workaholic…)

-Moi: Haha not a workaholic (lie), I just have something called a life (true), that includes friends, writing (this blog!!!), working on me, and yes, work is included in that too.  Incessantly text messaging me including asking me if I’m awake only minutes after already sending me a text message is a pretty clear sign of dependency.  But like I said, I hope you find what you’re looking for.  BTW, work on your spelling and grammar, it’s horrendous.  (You should have seen some of the previous texts he sent me…I want to cringe with how awful his spelling and grammar was.  This round of text messages wasn’t so bad)

-“Needy”: Bitch whatever GO FUCK YOURSELF!  Did I spell that right cool have a nice night 🙂

-Moi: Good job, you just passed 3rd grade spelling!!  🙂  Good luck in your endeavors dear! (I’d like to think I’m pretty damn well at being facetious, wouldn’t you agree??)

“Needy”: Yeah you too 🙂

So yeah, that’s how that ended.  Probably for the best.  I could only imagine how much of a bitch I would have been if we actually went out on a date.

*Positives: He’s not just looking for a hook up, he seems to want to somewhat settle down (this could also be a negative essentially), he’s going to school to be a dental hygienist

*Negatives: He is too needy (in my opinion), has no sense of patience (something every man needs when dealing with me), has awful spelling and grammar, and needs a lot of attention

Second First Date?: No.  Fuck no.