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“I like you. Do do you like me? Check yes, no, or maybe.”

When we were all younger, innocent and naive to the world, we would write notes that said this to the ones we liked on 3-hole punched lined paper (does that still exist??), in hopes that they would check the box marked “yes.”  God, if only life and relationships were really THAT easy…

doyoulikeme

So this has to be my biggest downfall in dating/relationships, and I’m hoping I am not the only one out there with this issue.  But I HAVE A PROBLEM TELLING GUYS I LIKE THEM.  Seriously.  It’s an issue.

Once upon a time, I used to be really good at it.  After a couple of weeks or so, I would tell a guy just how I felt about him.  Now, I’m not saying I got the response I wanted all the time, but I was at least able to do it.  Now, having been hurt so many times, I’m so scared of ruining whatever is going on with a guy, that I’m too scared to straight up tell a guy I like him and I just continue with whatever is going on at the moment.  Which is both great and horrible at the same time.

Reasons Why It’s Great:

-There’s usually  no drama

-No one is ever angry at the other for misunderstandings

-Going with the flow usually makes things easier and there’s no pressure or expectations

-The “awkward conversation” (as I like to call it) never has to happen

-I never get rejected

Reasons Why It’s Horrible:

-Guys never realize I actually like them (in my head, guys should just assume I like them if I act a certain way around them…stupid I know)

-I end up hurting myself by overthinking things and making things up in my head

-If I talk (a.k.a. flirt) with another guy, the guy I like automatically thinks I’m a whore or that I’m not serious about him which then leads to…

-Him finding a girlfriend.  Who isn’t me.

-Some things go on longer than they ever should

-I never know where I stand with a guy or what I can/can’t/should/shouldn’t do, as far as being able to date other men at the same time or not

-Someone usually gets hurt…and that someone is usually me.

ilikeyou

Oh if only real life had a Facebook like button…

As one can see, clearly the horrible reasons outweigh the great reasons.

So what I guess I’m trying to get at with this post is that I need a few pointers on growing some balls and telling a guy I like him.  Ladies, what are some of your tips on telling guys you like them??  Gentleman, how would you like a woman to tell you she likes you?  And don’t answer with, “Just straight up tell him,” because that doesn’t help the situation.  Also, hints and insinuations isn’t the answer here either, considering I do that constantly and still get nowhere.

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!!

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A Retrospective… “Box Office Hipster”

So I really didn’t have any intentions of ever writing about this guy, because he’s not a part of my life anymore and his appearance was so brief that I didn’t deem him worthy enough to grace my blog.  But I know a lot of you had mentioned you wanted some background history on my dating life and this gentleman asshole would actually be considered someone pertinent, considering he was one of the reasons why I started this blog in the first place!!

I'm not even kidding you, this is pretty much exactly how he dressed.....

I’m not even kidding you, this is pretty much exactly how he dressed…not necessarily a bad thing but yeah…

The Story….After graduating college, I was kind of at a loss as to how to meet new guys.  I knew I could always just go to the bars and try to find a guy there, but how lame is that?  Besides, there’s the stigma of finding someone at a bar, and even though some people do in fact find the love of their life at a bar, I wasn’t about to join that crowd.  Around this time, I was still seeing “Mr. Big (Present)” every once in awhile, but I was quickly losing interest since it had been so long with us doing the same thing, with no change whatsoever.  I was to the point where I was over it and I just wanted to find someone else.

Being the social butterfly that I am, I started talking to some of the guys who worked at the box office at my work (I work in the theater district…like Broadway musicals and plays…not the movie theater…).  If I remember correctly, earlier in the year, one of the guys had nervously asked for my number after I had spoken to him once.  It was really cute and he was a fairly good looking guy, so I gave him my number.  That ended up being one of the worse dates ever, with him being super nervous, awkward, and the epitome of insecure.  I mean, the guy went to the bathroom and when he came out he told me, “I’m surprised you’re still here, I thought you were going to leave while I was gone.”  Yep.  He really said that.

But enough with all that.  The guy this post is dedicated to is the friend of awkward boy I went on a date with.  I really never paid much attention to the people at the box office before, but they had renovated things so that the box office would be facing the bar that I make occasional guest appearances at and we could all stare longingly at each other if we all wanted to.  “Box Office Hipster” never really made an impression on me.  I remember having bought a ticket for something from him and him trying to talk to me but I just disregarded him.  He just never stood out and I didn’t think much of him, except he was kinda cute.  But with the renovation and being having a lot of breaks in between shows, I ended up chatting with him on occasion.  It started out pretty innocently, but eventually we began flirting…a lot!  I would even catch him staring at me from across the way on occasion, and while I was creeped out, it was kind of flattering.  But he never asked me for my number or made any indication he wanted to hang out.  So it was frustrating and intriguing all at the same time.

Finally, after two months of chatting and flirting and creepily staring, he asked for my number.  I had been working that night and so had he, so before he took off for the night, he invited me out with him and his friends.  I told him that I maybe would and that I would let him know as soon as I got off.  Well of course I went to meet up with him!!  And I ended up getting drunk.  If I remember correctly, I gave him a lap dance at the bar we were at and proceeded to make out with him a bit.  When last call hit, I knew I couldn’t drive home.  And I started to panic a bit.  I didn’t want to stay at his place since that was the first time we had ever hung out, but it was looking like I had no other option.  Outside of his friend’s place, I kept telling him I couldn’t stay at his place and I tried calling my friend who lived in the area to see if I could stay at his place (turns out I was right in front of his building as I was panicking…shows just how drunk I was).  So I ended up staying the night at “Box Office Hipster”‘s place.  He was a complete gentleman, and even offered to sleep on the floor if it would make me comfortable.

After that night, we were practically inseparable.  He would text me several times a day every single day, from the time I got up till bedtime and would want to hang out as much as humanly possible.  He even got sad/upset when he was supposed to be having a guys night and I didn’t tell him I was at a nearby bar.  Honestly, I was completely overwhelmed.  And I definitely felt smothered at times a lot of the time.  But he was good to me and he liked me, so I went with it.  He had told me I was the first girl he had been excited about in a really long time and that he really liked me.  So of course, I fell for it.   And that’s where I went wrong….

Haha TOTALLY HIM!!

Haha TOTALLY HIM!!

There had been several warning signs that I shouldn’t date this guy.  Right from the get go, he told me that he wasn’t good with relationships whatsoever and he usually got tired of girls after a month or so.  And from there, instead of ending it with them, he would just stop talking to them and would ignore them completely.  That should have been RED FLAG number one.  But clearly I’m an idiot.  He also didn’t have a savings account and didn’t believe in saving money; his belief was that if he earned it, he can spend it however he chose.  He had a weird thing with his image (I’m guessing it was because he was fat in high school and then lost a bunch of weight after) and literally took as long as I did, if not a tad bit longer to get ready.  And when I say get ready, I mean we would just go over to his friend’s place and he’d have to get ready to go there.  With a hat on he looked good…though I soon discovered just how awful he looked without one.  His hair was receding BADLY, and just gross looking.  He thought it was weird that I didn’t wear a lot of makeup and that I wasn’t always 100% put together all the time, because all the girls he had dated in the past wore tons of makeup, always had their hair and nails done, and always dressed up.  He also made a comment that if I lost any more weight, he couldn’t date me anymore.  Yes, he was a bit of a chubby chaser.  Closed minded doesn’t even begin to describe his thought process.  He never saw outside of the box, on anything.  He had a weird thing about being in the spotlight or the center of attention, and hated when any attention was brought onto him.  I’m the complete opposite, so you can only imagine how that went.  He thought sex or anything sexual was the reason why he lost interest in the girls in the past, so with me he didn’t want to do anything whatsoever initially.  It was like 2 weeks before we did anything but make out.  And that’s a long time for me.  Seriously…I could go on even longer than this.  But I won’t bore you all with it.

Anyways, as predicted, after about a month, he became really distant.  It was right after I had called him out for being so closed minded.  Weirdly enough, even with all the red flags going off, I was super upset that we had stopped talking.  I’m not an openly emotional person and usually do the opposite of what other girls do (i.e. girls usually text/call guys A LOT…I don’t at all; girls are always like “Oh I like you so much” and are all over the guy…I just assume the guy knows how I feel and I’m never all over him – in fact, I’m usually distant; etc.), but I started to when he stopped talking to me, telling him I missed him and shit.  What the fuck.  He also owed me some money, so I was very determined to get that back.  Not because it was a lot, just because of the principle.

Where is he now……After about a month or so of us not really speaking and him still owing me some money, he met a new girl.  She was definitely the needy, clingy, whore makeup,  Oh-my-god-I-like-you-SO-much type that he needed.  A girl who didn’t have very many friends nor a life of her own so that all her time could be spent on him.  Oh, and I should mention, she’s definitely large and in charge.  Haha.  Of course, after a month or so of casually dating, they became official and have been together ever since.  I think they even moved in together a few months after they became official.  How lovely.

Big ladies need loving too...

Big ladies need loving too…

What I learned…I realized that “Box Office Hipster” was very similar to “First” in that they both wanted me to be something that I wasn’t.  Luckily, since I had learned the first time around changing myself and who I am was not beneficial to anyone, especially myself, I didn’t change myself for this one.  But I definitely contemplated it, which scared the shit out of me.  I never thought I would do it again, and here I was contemplating it.  I think my experience with this one also further drove the point across that I should find someone who likes me for me, flaws and all, instead of someone who has an idea of what it is they want in their head and tries to make me into that.  Either way, it’s an experience that I am grateful for, and a person that I’m glad to have out of my life for good.

A New Theory on “Nice Guys” vs. “Bad Boys”

This is a topic that has been under contemplation for centuries….okay maybe not, but you know what I mean.  The age old saying of, “Nice guys finish last.”  I briefly wrote about this topic last year, and with it posted a video by the lovely Jenna Marbles, in which she makes some great points about the topic.  But today, I am going to enlighten you all with something I came up with on my own.  It’s something I’ve been thinking about as of late, since I have (or at least have attempted very greatly) transitioned from being the girl who always wanted the “bad boy” to the girl who only wants the “nice guy.”

Good vs. Bad

So here is my new theory: Girls want the “bad boys” because they know what they’re getting.  It’s the “nice guys” you have to watch out for, because you never know when they’re going to turn into an asshole out of nowhere.

You’re probably wondering where I got the idea for this theory.  I could make it sound profound, and say I was inspired by a writer such as Sappho with her ambiguous sexuality or even Shakespeare, with all his romantic tragedies.  Alas, the real answer is Captain Jack Sparrow from “Pirates of the Caribbean.”  Yep.  He said the following quote:

  “Me? I’m dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It’s the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they’re going to do something incredibly… stupid.”

I’ve simply applied this lovely little quote to the dichotomy of “bad boys” vs. “nice guys” and I think it works out pretty nicely.  Here’s the breakdown:

-With “bad boys”, you can always expect them to be bad.  You expect them to be a jackass to you and you never expect them to do anything nice.  While it’s sad to know that a guy will never treat you right, it becomes expected and you know what you’re getting.  They’re mean to you, don’t treat you well, never answer you when you try to contact them, and you’re almost always fighting with them about one thing or another.   On occasion out of the blue, they will do something very sweet or actually treat you the way you deserve.  And you feel surprised, and a bit shocked, and maybe even honored.  But then just as fast as that unexpected bout of niceness came, they’re back to being a complete asshole.  This is a guaranteed thing.  Example of this: “Mr. Big (Past)”

Ohhhhh yeahhhhh

Ohhhhh yeahhhhh

-With “nice guys”, you really don’t know what you’re going to get.  They’re great – they treat you well, are super nice to you, almost always respond to your calls and texts (because in the girl world, we really do associate this with “nice guys”), they make you feel super comfortable and the term “fights” is not one that you use in your vocabulary with this type of guy.  You’re 100% convinced you finally found a good one who you don’t have to worry about.  But you can never predict when they’re all of a sudden going to turn into a giant asshole.  You get so comfortable with them being nice that when they all of a sudden turn into an asshole, it’s a bit devastating – especially to the ego.  So maybe, they never really were a “nice guy” to begin with, but they just hid it very well??  Examples of this: “Mr. Big (Present)”, “Box Office Hipster” (I haven’t written about him yet, but I will), “Hollywood” (though I think a lot of his issues is that he’s super insecure)

Gosh I wish someone would do all those things for me...for reals....

Gosh I wish someone would do all those things for me…for reals….

So yeah, that’s just my new theory about the whole “Bad Boys” vs. “Nice Guys” dichotomy.

But here’s another question I have for you all….why don’t you ever hear anything about “Bad Girls” vs. “Nice Girls”??  I mean, it’s definitely out there, but discussions about it aren’t as prevalent.  Why is that??

Just some thoughts….;-)

UPDATES, UPDATES, Read all about them!!

Well it’s time for another update!!!  🙂  I’m not sure how interesting this is going to be (sorry) since I’m a fairly boring individual.  But I hope you still enjoy it nevertheless.

Moi: So again, I’m a fairly boring individual.  In the short hiatus I took from here, I was busy (and I guess still kind of am) catching up with people I hadn’t seen in a very long time and just living life.  I’m currently in hiatus at one of my jobs at the moment so I’ve had a bunch of free time.  I’ve also been in the process of looking for a new job in hopes to move to the city.  Also, I just get bored really easily and need a job that’s more intriguing.  But being the impatient soul I am, I’ve just been getting super frustrated and I know eventually I will just give up.  Because I suck like that.  What I really should be doing during this wonderful little break I have been given is work on my passion and what I really want to do…which is perform.  Specifically, sing.  Here’s a little snippet (or 2) of me singing, hopefully it spices up this post since I’m already bored just writing it:

So yeah, really that’s what I should be working on.  But I’m not.  😦  I’ve also become a bit of a homebody…like probably more so than I should.  My BFF “Tinky Winky Pooh Bear” read my tarot cards while she was in town (ya, I’m weird like that) and my immediate future pulled the hermit card so I guess it all makes sense??  Maybe something is wrong with me….

Sad, the website where I found this pic was about clinical depression...

Sad, the website where I found this pic was about clinical depression…

“Mr. Big (Present)”: So things are officially, 100% over with this one, and I couldn’t be happier.  I had randomly noticed one day that he had deleted me off of Facebook.  But I gave him the benefit of the doubt because sometimes Facebook will just delete your friends for no reason.  It’s dumb, really.  Actually, the fact that I’m even writing about him deleting me off Facebook is pretty dumb in itself as well…just let it happen though.  Haha.  Anyways, I asked him about it and he did indeed himself delete me.  He said it was because he had no reason to talk to some of the girls from his past, that he had deleted not just me but some other girls, and that it wasn’t personal.  Funny thing is, he was JUST talking to me a week or so before this happened…. Anyways, I asked him if his girlfriend caught him sneaking around, and he claimed she didn’t.  It’s very unlike him to do something like that all of a sudden though so either 1.) He’s super serious about this girl…like SUPER serious or 2.) He got caught, even if he won’t admit it.  I was kind of a bitch back to him, told him that I hope he had deleted my number too so I wouldn’t be getting phone calls when him and his girlfriend inevitably break up, and thankfully he did (or so he says).  Anyways, I think this kind of put closure on the whole situation, and while initially I was kind of confused why he would do it, and maybe even a tad bit hurt, because I thought of us as somewhat of friends in a way, I’m happy he did.  It needed to be done.  After this, I deleted his number as well, so now there’s no way to communicate with him, even if I was tempted.  🙂

"Mr. Big (Present)" wishes this could be his life everyday.  Also, I just really love everyone in this picture, so I wanted to post it.

“Mr. Big (Present)” wishes this could be his life everyday. Also, I just really love everyone in this picture, so I wanted to post it.

“Snoop”: I still get texts from this guy occasionally, telling me he was thinking about  me and that he hopes I’m doing well.  He did text me right before Christmas asking if I wanted to hang out for Christmas which I thought was really strange because we barely know one another, so of course I declined.  I’m not sure if he’s just bored or he still has some hope, but nothing will come of it.

“Secret Sleaze”: A couple of days after our date, he asked me if I wanted to go to dinner.  I was so tired from having been up so late almost every night that week so I declined.  Then he asked me if I wanted to do dinner the next night instead.  I had already had plans with some of my girlfriends, so again I declined, but said if he wanted to come hang out with me and the girls he was more than welcomed (obviously I was only saying this to be nice).  To this he responded with, “Are you calling me a girl?!”  which I didn’t think was a funny joke at all.  So this is when we got in our discussion of why he always made fun of himself and he said he just likes to make people laugh and that he’s learned that not everyone is going to like you and that’s okay.  Not sure what that had to do with him making fun of himself but okay.  Basically, I told him he came off as insecure since he kept making fun of himself and justifying the shit he said instead of just owning it, but that that was just my opinion.  To which his response was, “And you’re allowed to have your own opinion” or something like that.  WELL NO SHIT!!  Clearly, he’s not the smartest crayon in the box.  Anyways, that was the last bit of correspondence we’ve had – I think he got the picture.

And the one you’ve all been waiting for…..

“Future Hubby” –  So I had a whole thing written out for this one as far as an update was concerned, but then I realized I was just ranting.  So to sum us up in a nutshell, we’re basically a roller coaster.  Not a really crazy one that makes you want to puke and pee your pants, but a moderate one.  We’re definitely a work in progress, maybe a bit more so than most.

So I’m definitely competing for his attention with another bitch, and I’m not enjoying that one bit.  You know what that bitches name is?  Alcohol.  Yep.  I usually win and don’t have to compete with her very often, but when I do, it’s not very fun at all.  So after I wrote the last post about him, I kind of backed off.  But then I missed him too much, so I started talking to him again.  I’m trying this thing this year where if I want to do something or talk to someone or say something, I’m just going to do it.  I’m not going to think about the dumb things that we ladies like to overthink sometimes.  I’m just going to do it.  So yes we started talking again and things were going well.  We’d go out, have fun, come back and do our thing (which also is a work in progress – I’m teeny tiny, he’s big – things that are only supposed to happen when you first lose your v-card happens – in large quantities…yeah), go to sleep, then hang out for a bit in the morning.   And then of course this week, not only was he not responding to anything I was texting him, I bumped into him at a bar and he was so drunk that he was by himself and didn’t even know where he was really.  We fought pretty much the entire night, but it was like fighting with a child because he was so drunk.  At times, I just had to laugh because it was so ridiculous.  Apparently he had never received any of my texts from this week, and while usually I wouldn’t believe that shit, I’ve been having problems with contacting iPhones for some reason so it’s very possible he never got them.  The week prior, his phone kept automatically rejecting my calls and he’d have to call me back every single time.  I had this problem with “Indian Warrior” too so I know he wasn’t just rejecting my calls….maybe this means I need to upgrade from ghetto phone to smart phone?  Anyways, in our jaunt back to my car, he made a friend along the way who lectured us in relationships and love, even though we both kept telling him we weren’t together, nor were we anywhere near being in love.  But the guy kept telling us he saw something good and that he could tell we’d be really good together.  Is that a sign??

Hahaha....but seriously....

Hahaha….but seriously….

Anyways, so yes this is our situation.  When it’s good, it’s very good.  He’s caring, sweet, makes me laugh, is super attentive, makes sure I’m comfortable, I can have good conversation with him and he’s seriously just everything that I like in a guy.  And about 90% of the time that’s how it is.  And then there’s the 10% that usually involves a copious amount of alcohol.  A week or so ago, I did bring up the fact that I didn’t think he was making a very good effort and that I was making more of an effort than he was, to which he disagreed and said that I don’t make enough of an effort either.  And while this conversation did happen while we were both drunk, he had a good point.  I could probably make more of an effort myself.

I guess my concluding point here is that I’m going to stick this one out.  I really do like him and care about him, and I’ve honestly never felt this way before.  I don’t even know how to describe the feeling…it’s not like in the past where I was super infatuated with the person and would be a crazy person and have my life and thoughts consumed by said person and what not.  It’s just…different.  A good different.  I actually WANT to see him all the time, and WANT to hang out with him all the time, unlike all those others in the past where I didn’t really care if I saw them very often or not.  I think it kind of goes back to  my belief of a relationship being two individuals coming together and sharing their lives together, in opposed to how most people believe it should be two people becoming one person.  I do realize it’s going to take time and a LOT of patience, but they say if you really want something you should fight for it, so that’s what I’m going to do.  I just hope I’m not doing it in vain.

When I saw this, I immediately thought of "Future Hubby".  Hahaha.

When I saw this, I immediately thought of “Future Hubby”. Hahaha.

And to end this all….sorry this is so long…but a question for you all:

What do you want to see me do with my blog?  I’m still kind of in the process of figuring out what to do with it.  I can still continue on with what I’m doing, because I don’t see myself getting serious with “Future Hubby” anytime in the near future.  I could also write some more about my past dating, such as one of the guys who lead me to write this blog.  I guess I’m just still a little lost still as to what to do with this blog.  I’m also thinking about starting a new blog with all my past poetry and maybe some new stuff – I hope that some of you will follow me, even if you hate poetry!!  I promise it won’t be the bland stuff of the past!!  🙂

Random: My Sex Bucket List (and updates) (and a question for you!)

Sorry I’ve been  MIA lately.  I haven’t been going on dates, so don’t think you’re missing out on anything that I haven’t written about.  I’m not sure really what I’ve been doing….I guess I’ve been working.  And catching up with friends.  And just living in general.  Ya know.  I’m a pretty boring person.  I haven’t really been in the  mood to go on dates either.  I’ve gotten a bunch of “Winks” on What’s Your Price  lately, but I’ve just been ignoring them.  I’m really over it.  In fact, I think I’m going to delete my profile from there soon.  Like right now, actually.

truetruetrue

Yep. Pretty much the majority of the guys I’ve spent any extended period of time with.

Anyways, as we all know, my goal this year was to go on a date with 50 different guys.  Unfortunately, the year ends in about 9 days and I’ve only gotten to 34 (35 will most likely happen with my potential “TOWWETB” but more on that later).  I mean, there’s still a chance that 16 different guys will want to go on a date with me in the next few days, but the chances are highly unlikely.  Either way, I have no intentions of doing my final write up for my blog until the end of the year, so as of now, it’s still on!!

I think part of the reason why I am not very interested in going on anymore dates is because of my potential “TOWWETB”.  He’s still only a potential because we haven’t gotten to that point of figuring out exactly what it is we are or want to be and all that emotional, scary, I-might-run-away-if-we-have-that-talk stuff.  Yes, I realize I am fucked up when it comes to that stuff in more ways than one.  As much as I would love to tell you all about him, 1.) We haven’t gone on an official date that meets the criteria of this blog yet so I feel I shouldn’t write about him just yet and 2.) I don’t want to jinx anything.  I will say that things with him definitely feel different than with all the other guys I’ve gone on dates with this year, and that different feeling is a good one.  So maybe this one might just work out.  🙂

As far as the question for you all, again as I’ve said previously, the end of the year is approaching.  The whole idea behind my blog was to go on 50 dates with 50 different guys this year and write about them.  But what to do after the year is over??  Miss Jane Champagne had a great suggestion to amend the 50 dates part and just continue to write about my dating life and my dates in general, which I think is probably what I’m going to end up doing.  I was also thinking about just starting a new blog in conjunction with this one, still about dating but just about my dating life in general instead of a specific goal.  And then I had the idea of sticking with the 50 dates idea, but this time making it 50 guys from each and every state here in the U.S….so like one guy from each state.  So I want to hear from you all…what would you like to see me do??  I could make this more of a general dating blog and just write about my dates and about my dating life in general, guys from my past, silly things I think we all do in dating, etc.  Or I could stick with the 50 and do it again next year if I still haven’t found someone.  Please let me know, I appreciate any and all feedback!!

Okay and now for the exciting part of this post…my Sex Bucket List.  🙂

Let's talk about sex babbbyyyy

This is honestly something I’ve been thinking about for awhile, and unfortunately most of the men I am ever with are not as adventurous as me so I haven’t been able to live out this list.  I guess I’m somewhat of an exhibitionist, for lack of a better word, when it comes to this because I totally get excitement from the idea of having a sexual rendezvous in not-so-normal, semi-public places.  The only exciting places I’ve ever done anything are on a golf course near the 18th hole and in the back of a bar where they store kegs.  So here is my list of places I would like to get it on:

*Beach…not really out of the norm, but I haven’t done it yet, so I count it.

*Tennis Court

*Church Confessional…I think I’m going to hell for even saying this one.

*The Stacks at Norlin

*At the Gym…specifically my gym

*In a Limo

*In an Airplane

*In a Dressing Room (preferably at Victoria’s Secret)

*On Stage…not with everyone watching or anything, just on a stage at a theater of sorts

*Somewhere extremely cold…like one of those ice bars or in a walk in freezer

*In a BDSM club…just once – just to say I have done it

Hopefully one day, I find someone just as adventurous as myself.  In the meantime, I’ll just keep looking!  😉

Random: My Man Bucket List

This was a topic given to me by my friend Michelle (she doesn’t have a blog that I know about, otherwise I’d tag her in it.  She’s also already commented on here with her first name, otherwise I’d give her a nickname).  She asked me if I had a list of men I’d like to date just for fun, like a firefighter or an athlete.  And basically if there are any guys that I would like to date just for the sake of dating without actually ending up with them.

Honestly, I thought this idea was genius and just so much fun!!  So of course I have to write about it!  I’ve gotta say, I’ve dated a lot of types of guys that I just wanted to date for fun already.  But I’ve definitely contemplated in the past the types of men I would like to date for fun, so here is a compilation of what I’ve come up with.  And I will try to make it realistic (i.e. I’m not going t put Brad Pitt or something):

  • The Alphabetical Hook-Up List: I actually saw this book title and thought it was interesting.  I’m not going to lie, I haven’t read the book.  But I really liked the concept of what they were getting at.  I’m not sure exactly what the book entails as a “hook-up,” but I’ve made my version a little bit more chaste.  My goal in life before I get married (if that ever happens…and frankly at the rate things are going, its not going to happen) is to kiss at least one guy whose name begins with each letter of the alphabet.  I’m doing pretty well so far, but I am missing the following letters: F, H, O, Q, U, V, X and Y.  So if you’re a male out there who lives here and your name begins with one of those letters, please contact me and come makeout with me.  It would just make my day.
A, B, C, D, E, F, G...

A, B, C, D, E, F, G…

  • A Drummer: As I’ve listed before, I LOVE musicians.  I am SO drawn to them in every way possible.  I’ve honestly dated some musicians purely on the fact that they were musicians – nothing else.  I’ve gone for singers, pianists, guitarists, bassists….but I’ve never had any relations with a drummer.  I think drumming is so sexy and I myself would love to get basic drumming lessons, so I think I could kill two birds with one stone here.  Again, if you’re a drummer out there, please contact me so we can get together!
  • A Really Pretty Guy: You all know what I mean.  A guy who is so attractive, that both men and women come from afar just to stare at him and blush when they see him.  Think a Christian Grey type character (oh ya, I went there…but my idea for this was not inspired by the book).  A guy that’s 100% hotter than me in every such way and that people would look at us and be like, “Oh, who is that troll dating that God?”  I would LOVE to date a guy like that one day, just to know what it feels like to date someone that pretty.  Would I be jealous?  Would I become more vain and pay more attention to my own looks? I most definitely know plenty of really pretty gentleman, but unfortunately (or maybe not so unfortunate) they’re married.  Although I know they would cheat in a heartbeat, I’m not looking to be a home-wrecker so I’ll have to just pass on them and find myself a pretty one.
Yep, I want someone this vain.

Yep, I want someone this vain.

  • A Guy Completely Opposite of Myself: So basically a super introverted, anti-social, and quiet person who enjoys being a homebody more so than doing anything outside of the house.  Maybe someone with no hobbies except for computer games and anime.  Yeah, I would like to date a guy like that sometime.  Just to pick his brain.  And maybe try and boost his ego.  This would definitely be a fixer upper for me, so I’m not too sure if that would be a good thing or not.
  • An Indian Guy: Really, I just love Indian food and I would want him (or his mother) to make me some.  And maybe someone dance to some authentic Bollywood music with.  But I guess I have “Indian Warrior” in my life, and besides the fact that she’s a girl, she still has the other qualities I want in an Indian.  So maybe I’ll just stick with her.
  • Bruno Mars: Seriously, this is not unrealistic.  He sings, I sing.  He’s half my people.  He’s short, I’m short.  He does cocaine, I would let him do cocaine off my body.  He’s funny, I love funny men.  He dances, I dance.  We’re like a match made in heaven…he’s probably “Locked Out of Heaven” because he hasn’t met me yet.  We DID make eye contact at his concert, especially when he sang his songs to me and only me.  But yes, anyways, I want him.  I have family moving to Hawaii, so I’m hoping they run into his family and then we can all be introduced.  Then he’d ask me, “Is it the look in your eyes, or is it this dancing juice?  Who cares baby, I think I want to marry you.”  The end.
Ohhh yeahhhhh

Ohhh yeahhhhh

Well, that’s my list.  I’m sure I could think of others, but that’s pretty much my main Man Bucket List.

Random: Why Sometimes “Games” Are Necessary

In dating and at the beginning of relationships, it’s the one thing we all love to hate.  We go on and on about how much we hate playing games with people and hate how people play games with us, yet at the end of the day, we find ourselves playing them too.  In fact, I can personally say for myself if there isn’t a little bit of a chase and a little bit of uncertainty at the very beginning, I’m probably not going to be interested.  Obviously, if two people are already in a relationship and games are still being played, that just makes the game player in that relationship an asshole and they probably shouldn’t be in a relationship to begin with.

Anyways, what I’m trying to get at here is my belief that there are instances when playing “the game” (or games in general) is necessary.  I’m not saying I condone it to the fullest degree; only on certain occasions and in certain situations.  I honestly didn’t even consider this a topic to write about until I exchanged a couple of text messages with “Snoop” earlier in the day in which I believe further proves that games need to be played in some instances.  So I’ve come up with a (short) list of situations I believe need some game play.

1.) When They’re Just Not Getting It… Here is where my example with “Snoop” comes in.  I was going to just feature these texts in my He Said What?! section, but I felt the need to further explore these texts and analyze them.  Note that these texts were sent to me after I had already ignored some of his previously forward (in my opinion) texts and had been somewhat short with him (my commentary in parenthetical and texts written verbatim, as always):

“Snoop”: I was thinkin about u just wantd 2 check up on u…I really just wantd 2 say i like u and i want u 😉  (definitely not what I’m wanting to see at 10am when I had just gotten home from a flight from the West coast in which I had gotten drunk the previous night, was still drunk during my flight, and was VERY slowly sobering up/becoming hungover)

-Moi: I’m sorry, you’re a cool guy and all, but I am not interested in you in that way.  I apologize if I made you think otherwise.  But I would like to be friends. (Note my impeccable spelling and grammar…;-))

-“Snoop”: Thats fine.  I am attractd 2 u.  I really meant like a joke….But friends is fine..I want 2 get 2 kno u..I’m not the type 2 make a decsion like that…Its frm the boondocks if u watch the sho (Really?  Way to completely retract what you had initially said and to assume that I even know what Boondocks is…the only Boondocks I know is “The Boondock Saints” and that’s a whole other story)

In this instance, as one can see, I had straight up told this gentleman I was not interested.  Even though we had had a great date, I’m just not attracted to him in a sexual way.  Before I had told him that I was not interested in him, I had ignored a couple of text messages and gave him short, but still cordial, responses.  I never indicated any attraction whatsoever.  When I told him straight up that I was not interested, I get some weird response back.  First off, although he truly may have been joking, would a guy really send that to a girl he barely knows that he’s obviously attracted to if he was just joking?  No.  Secondly, why preface “it was a joke!” with “I am attracted to you?”  Is it just me, or does that not make sense?  And if you read it in a different way, it’s almost as if he’s saying he meant that he was attracted to me as a joke??

Anyways, as far as game play with this one, since I’ve already told him how I feel and was straight up, the only thing I can think of to deter him from myself is to either tell him I have a boyfriend, or if I see him out ever, aggressively flirt with someone else.

2.) When I Really Like Someone, But Am Too Scared to Become Vulnerable... I know, this one sounds both weird and selfish.  And yes, it is both of those 100%.  I’m not saying this so that people will be like, “Oh poor girl, she’s just always getting hurt!  I pity her!”  I’m saying this because it’s the truth.  I get hurt.  A lot.  I guess you could say I have the unfortunate characteristic of caring far too much for people who maybe don’t care about me as much or are unwilling to express their care for me.  As I’ve said numerous times, I don’t find a connection with men very often, so when I do, I truly fall hard.  And in falling hard comes the caring.  But it’s to the point where I feel like I’ve been hurt so much that I am terrified of it happening again and one day just falling apart completely.  So when I really like a guy, I tend to act like I don’t like him.  For example, we may have spent the previous night all over each other, but if I see him the next day, I’ll be distant.  Sometimes I’ll barely even talk to the guy and maybe will even flirt with other guys in front of him, including his friends.  Obviously, this has it’s downfalls (big downfalls), but it’s my way of keeping myself from getting attached to a guy.  It doesn’t always work, but it certainly does help.  So yes, this one is a very selfish reason as to why to play games, but it helps keep my heart in one piece.

3.) When I’m Not 100% Sure How a Guy Feels About Me…If you’ve been reading my blog, you’ll know that in my past, I’ve always put my eggs in one basket.  If I really liked a guy, even without knowledge of how he felt about me,  it was all about him, even if I would still go around and flirt with other guys.  Even if I chatted it up with other guys, that one guy would always be in the back of my head.  I’m a really social and flirty person, so for me, flirting is basically like saying hello.  Anyhoo, I’ve gotten to the point where I’ve decided keeping my options completely open is the best way for me.  I guess this wouldn’t really be considered playing games, but in some ways it kind of is…depending on who you ask.  And what I mean by completely open is talking to all guys and every guy who crosses my path.  For example, while I think I do have a connection with “TOWWETB” (we still haven’t gone on an official date…I’m working on it), I’ve also been talking to “Mr. Big (Present)” a bit (yes, even though he has a girlfriend…I told you I’m keeping my options open!) and still have my eye on my guy(s) at the gym, amongst other men.  Obviously, if things were to really progress with one of these men and I knew that he really did like me and only me, I would cut ties to all these other men.  But until I am 100% sure about how a guy feels about me, I’m going to be keeping my options wide open…so any takers out there??  😉