Tag Archive | Bad Dates

“Stoner”

I apologize for being M.I.A. for an extremely long time.  A lot of changes have been happening in my life – some for good, some for bad.  I will write an update here soon before the end of the  month.  But until then, please enjoy a write-up on a date I went on a few weeks ago.

___________________________________________________________________________________________

How We Met: We had actually “met” back in January at a shitty bar in the ‘burbs (same place I met “Humdrum”) where he was a bouncer at.  I was there for my friend’s birthday and “Stoner” kept smiling at me and checking me out.  As I was leaving, he mentioned that he really liked my straight hair.  And that was that.  A couple of weeks later, I ended up going back to this awful bar since “Indian Warrior” wanted to go out somewhere close to our houses.  That same bouncer was there and I guess he had remembered me from last time.  We talked a little bit more this time.  “Indian Warrior” noticed that he was staring and smiling at me every time I walked by, so she suggested that I keep talking to him.  At the end of the night as we were leaving, he told me that he hoped to see me again.  Being drunk and somewhat upset about how “Future Hubby” had been acting towards me, I was hoping that this guy would ask me for my number, but he didn’t.  So “Indian Warrior” (also drunk) took it upon herself to make it happen.  Such good friends I have, huh?  Anyways, she made it happen and we exchanged numbers.

-Rating:

*Physical Aesthetics: 7 (in a dark bar), but 5 (in a lighted area)

*Appearance: 5

*Personality: 4

*Manners: 7was

*Intelligence: 4

*Confidence: 6

*Overall Rating: 4-5

The Date: So I’m not going to lie, I was actually a bit excited for the date initially.  To the best of my memory, “Stoner” was relatively attractive and seemed fairly interested in getting to know one another.  Granted, he didn’t blow up my phone like most guys do, but I was actually okay with that.  Since we’re both so busy, it took us a bit of time to find a night to actually hang out.  I’m used to guys going after me, so it was a bit strange when he basically prompted me to contact him about the date on the day of, even though he ended up contacting me first anyways.

Earlier in the day, I told him to think of things for us to do.  I didn’t want to do the typical date stuff, because that’s just boring.  So when he called me, he suggested movies (boring), coffee (kinda boring, but better), or go-karting.  Um duh, which one do you think I picked?!  😉  So he offered to pick me up, and even walked up to my door instead of just calling me or texting me to tell me he was outside.  He also opened my door for me to get into the car.  I thought it was all super sweet.  And that’s about the only thing that I thought was sweet.

The minute we get in the car, he’s on his cell phone.  Granted, he was using GPS, but he was seriously GLUED to the thing.  I honestly don’t think he even paid attention to the first few things I said.  He was like in his own little world.  It was like that for about the first ten minutes in the car.  Finally he started talking to me and we made small talk.  I learned right off the bat that this guy was a complete joke.  First off, he definitely looked better in the dark lights of the bar I met him at.  Not attractive AT ALL in the light.  I mean, he wasn’t the ugliest thing out there, but definitely not a looker by any means.  He looked like straight up white trash (sorry if that offends anyone, I just don’t know how else to describe him).  He’s lived in various places, including Hawaii, South Dakota, Oregon, and California.  He graduated high school in South Dakota and from there went straight into construction.  I thought he was about my age, if not a little older or younger, but it turns out he’s actually 7 years older than me.  I think this really surprised me because 1.) He doesn’t look it at all and 2.) he just seemed a lot younger in both personality and maturity.  Based off just our conversations in the car, I could already tell I wasn’t going to like this guy.  Then he had to top it off with the fact that he’s a complete stoner.  Now, I don’t mind occasional drug use here and there.  It’s not personally my thing, but if it’s someone else’s, all the power to them.  But a complete stoner?  Absolutely not.  It most definitely put everything into perspective though (i.e. why he wasn’t listening to anything I was saying, why he would have delayed responses, etc.).

We finally get to the go-kart place and I’m super excited.  Then we find out it’s an hour wait.  Personally, I wouldn’t have minded waiting, but apparently he didn’t want to wait.  So we drove around trying to find something to do.  I suggested coffee so we found a Starbucks.  We got there right as they were closing so we grabbed some drinks and left.  We drove around for a bit and I was ready to just ask him to take me home, especially when I saw that he was taking me to the vicinity of his apartment.  He mentioned going to a bar around the area so I suggested we go there for a drink.  Thank god he agreed with the plan, since at this point I was already scared he was going to drug me or something.

At the bar, we order some drinks.  I had a wine, and just on a side note, it was the shittiest wine I’ve had in awhile.  So that just made my mood even worse.  Anyways, at this point we were barely talking, just saying things here and there with a lot of awkward moments of silence.  We talked a bit more here, and we have absolutely NOTHING in common.  I mean, the guy doesn’t even like sports.  I was so excited that the Nuggets game was on the t.v., and he could care less.  While I watched, he just kept playing on his phone.  I tried being nice, but my I’m-fucking-bored-and-clearly-not-interested persona started coming out.  At one point, after getting done in the restroom, he tried hugging me and kissing my cheek and I literally pushed him away, completely disgusted.  I guess this is just tangible proof that guys really don’t get hints whatsoever.  I wonder if anyone at the bar saw this awkward moment.  After this, shit got even more awkward than they already were.  He had one more drink while I just sat there sipping some water.  I really had to pee, but I was so scared he was going to slip me a roofie or something that I just held it in.  He had this really annoying stoner laugh that was just super obnoxious and I wanted to cringe every time he laughed.

Finally, after his third beer we left.  I was actually really apprehensive to have him drive me home since he mentioned he doesn’t really drink and then proceeded to drink 3 beers within less than an hour.  In the car, he apologized for making me uncomfortable by kissing me, to which I responded that it was okay (I lied).  At the intersection right before the area I live in, he most definitely ran a red arrow turning left, which scared the fuck out of me.  Luckily, there were no other cars in sight.  Either this guy was super drunk or super high…or maybe a bit of both.  When dropping me off, he got out of his car, opened my door for me, and walked me all the way to my door, stating that he was a good guy (something he had previously mentioned….).  He leaned in for a hug, but luckily not a kiss.  Phew.

I can honestly say, worst date.  Ever.

*Positives: He has some manners, he paid for everything

*Negatives: He didn’t appear to be listening to anything I had to say most of the time, he has a child and baby mama drama, he didn’t go to college, he’s not the brightest crayon in the box, he is a complete stoner (seriously got excited talking about weed), he had to mention he was a good guy on more than one occasion, is not attractive at all, we had nothing in common, nothing to really talk about.  It was all negatives, really.

Second Date?: He alluded to it on a couple of occasions, saying I was the first girl that he met at the bar that he actually went on a date with and that actually kept true to her word.  But if he texts me again, I’m most certainly telling him I’m not interested.

Random: In Meeting Men…

This was a topic given to me by How To Online Date (thank you!! :-)) back in my post at the beginning of the month.  She asked which method she felt has gotten me the best dates.  It’s like she read my mind, because throughout the process of writing my blog, I’ve looked back to see how I’ve met each guy and whether it worked or didn’t work.  I just never thought about writing about it.  So here we go.

Meeting between two screens….

Online Dating: To be honest, I’ve never been a fan of the idea of online dating.  I feel that it’s very superficial in some sense and I don’t like the idea of meeting someone inorganically (for lack of a better term).  I already have enough of a problem with men only liking women for their aesthetic features and not anything else, and I feel online dating further implements this.  Granted, I know this method has worked out well for many people, but it’s just not me.  But because I wanted to try all outlets, I joined one dating website called What’s Your Price, as suggested by a friend.  Basically, you get paid to go on dates.  So far, I’ve been on 4 dates from this website (and 1 “text date”, if you will), and I’ve gotten a 50/50 success rate.  While the 50% that turned up good was actually really good and I enjoyed the dates even more than some of the other guys I’ve met in other ways, the 50% that were bad were really bad.  Granted, those really bad dates were also with older men (40+), so maybe that was my issue.  Also, with online dating, I feel it’s more so a job than anything else.  I have to make sure I message these guys back in a certain amount of time, otherwise they wonder if I’m still there or not.  If I slack and forget to check the website, it’s like I have to start all over again when trying to find guys.  Plus a lot of the time, these guys will say they want to go on a date, then nothing ever happens after we agree to do it.  Correspondences seem to cease.  Maybe if I joined another site, like POF or OKCupid, I’d get better results.  But I’m just not convinced on the whole concept of online dating to begin with, that the incentive What’s Your Price gives me at least some motivation to go through with it.  Overall though, I’d have to say I’m still sticking to not being a fan of online dating.

Dates from What’s Your Price:

Not true, but sometimes…..;-)

Mutual Friends: Oh my lovely, lovely friends.  How they know me, and don’t know me all at the same time.  Again, this is kind of like with the online dating, where it’s been very 50/50 (but I guess that’s everything in life…).  I’ve met some amazing guys through some friends (like “Indian Warrior” who introduced me to “Mr. Big (Present)”…and when I say introduce, I mean more so made us make out randomly at a bar) and some weird ass guys through other friends (I’m not even going to mention you all…).  I think “Indian Warrior” (she chose that nickname by the way, I was gonna go with “Indian Princess” because it sounded better) takes the cake on introducing me to the best guys, and maybe that’s just because she knows me very well, or knows some normal, amazing guys…or maybe a bit of both.  But I’ve definitely had the most success with guys she has introduced me to.  All the others either don’t know me as well as they think they do, or the guys they set me up with just aren’t my type and they were setting me up just for the sake of setting me up.  I will say that I have better success meeting guys through friends though than I do through online dating.

Dates from Mutual Friends:

Men From My Past: This method of finding men for my blog is consistent with the two in that it’s been 50/50, though I will say that that ratio is depending on who we are talking about from my past.  If it was a friend/acquaintance, the date was amazing (or at least good).  If it was a guy from my past who I dated, wanted to date me, had some sort of feelings for me, etc., the outcome wasn’t as great.  While I can’t say I never do this, I do believe that there is a reason why a guy is in your past (the same goes for men with girls in their past).  And although I do feel that sometimes you can work things out and that maybe you just needed time to sort through things, the likelihood of that happening isn’t very high.  A past is a past for a reason.  I do have to attest that meeting men for my blog this way is better in the sense that the dates are never awkward since I already know them to a certain extent.  There’s none of those getting-to-know-you type questions or other awkward type shit.  But the downfall is the fact that they’re in my past, and they’re obviously there for a reason, so bringing them into the future is regressing a bit.

Dates from My Collection of Men from the Past:

Random Meetings: I think it’s obvious that this has proven to be the most effective method for me in meeting men…well at least in my opinion, who actually knows if these guys are good for me or not haha.  But for me, when I meet a guy, it’s about the initial attraction, the chemistry, the way they carry themselves.  I am able to determine for myself whether they fit the qualities that I look for in a man from the get-go.  Obviously, there are times where my initial intuition is incorrect, but I like to know that at least it is my own fault for picking a loser rather than someone else’s stupidity or a false facade as is proven in online dating.  Plus I like meeting new men on my own because nothing feels forced and there’s no obligation.  It’s sheer desire.

Dates from Random Meetings:

If anyone can think of any good places where they like to meet people, please comment below!!  I’d love to hear everyone else’s ideas and opinions on meeting people.  😉

Date #3: “Dum-Dum”

How We Met: We met through some married friends of ours a couple of years ago or so.  Apparently, he has liked me for awhile and he’s been trying to ask me out since last year.  But I was either seeing someone at the time or just wasn’t looking for anything whatsoever, so we never got a chance to go out.

Rating:

*Physical Aesthetics: 6

*Appearance: 6

*Personality: 5

*Manners: 5

*Intelligence: 3-4

*Confidence: 5

*Overall Rating: 5

The Date: Unfortunately, I have really nothing good to say about this date.  Just warning everyone….

We’ve been planning to go out for a couple weeks now, but just now finally had the chance.  To be honest, I didn’t think we’d be compatible whatsoever (I was right) so I’ve kind of been holding off going out with “Dum-Dum.”  But since I’ve decided to write this blog and have an open mind about EVERYONE this year, I decided to give him a chance.

“Dum-Dum” had been telling me to think of something fun to do, so I suggested we go to Dave & Busters.  I figured that’d be something fun that allows us not only to interact with one another, but to connect with our inner child.  When we get there, he is completely lost on what to do.  Now, I’m not saying we all need to just naturally know what to do when we enter such a place as Dave & Busters, but I feel it is fairly self explanatory on what to do (-ask for help-) when one does not know what they are doing.  He literally waited for me to take the initiative to get us game cards and just stood their dumbfounded as I took control.  Now, if you know me, you know I have a complete intolerance for stupidity.  So this was already starting to turn out pretty bad in  my opinion.

But I decided to open my mind (the shit I do for the sake of writing…) and didn’t let this get me down.  We got our game cards and started playing games.  To be honest, I had a ton of fun!  We played a lot of competition games, which was nice because I’m very competitive.  While he did beat me in a couple of the games, I beat him in the majority of the competition games we played.  I’m not sure if he was just letting me win (which I told him not to do) or if I just actually rock at games, but I was pretty happy that I even beat this guy who looked like he knew how to throw a football at the football throw game.  So we continued to play games and it truly was SO much fun.  Well…I had fun.  “Dum-Dum” seemed to be expressionless or not having a good time – I really couldn’t tell the difference.

So after we played games, we decided to get dessert.  Here’s where the bulk of my frustration started.  I asked him where he wanted to get dessert and he couldn’t give me an answer, or even any choices to pick from.  His main line from the night was, “I don’t know, what do you want do/where do you want to go?”  Now, while I think it’s sweet when a guy lets a girl pick what to do, this guy basically had no opinion whatsoever about anything.  I’m an indecisive person naturally, but even I can make a decision when need be.  So we (I) finally arrived on the decision to just stay at D&B and have dessert there.

We took a seat at the bar and began to talk.  I tried talking to him about things I would normally talk about with other people, like aspirations and goals in life, traveling, sports, etc.  He didn’t really have much of an opinion about anything, just here and there about sports and traveling really.  I was really shocked when it came to aspirations and goals, because he had none whatsoever.  In his words, he just wanted a “simple life” which consists of having enough money to be comfortable.  And while that’s a fair aspiration, he also mentioned that he wasn’t doing too much to progress towards it.  That’s when I told him, “Well, you can’t just sit on your ass and expect things to just happen for you.  You’ve gotta actually do something about it.”  It was then that he kind of cowered, almost as if I had scolded him.  Yet I never raised my voice (no really, I didn’t) nor was I abrasive about it.  I thought it was a bit of an interesting reaction.  Things got even worse when we began talking about traveling.  He told me he had been to all 50 states in the U.S. which I think is pretty cool since I’ve really only been to the East and West Coasts, with a few states in between.  Yet, for some reason, he didn’t know where a BIG city in the U.S. was located (actual quote will be located in my new page about dumb things guys say =) ).  Now, I’m not saying we all need to be geographical geniuses, but you should at least know the important things about a country you live in, such as the name of your President (or Prime Minister in some countries) and the location of major cities.

Long story short, I didn’t know people who appear on “Jay Walking” on the Jay Leno Show actually existed in real life.  This guy was a complete ignoramus in every sense of the word.  I can tell he’s not one who takes much initiative in anything in life and is more than willing to let others make decisions for him whether they be good or detrimental to his well being.  He doesn’t seem to have much of an opinion about anything and he’s the complete epitome of a dud.  Maybe he was just super nervous, but I don’t think nerves play into a person’s intelligence (or in this case, lack thereof).  It was exhausting trying to converse with him because of the lack of content in conversation.  It’s so unfortunate that I really have nothing nice to say, because he truly is a very sweet and nice guy.  I wish I had something good to say about him because I think he tried very hard to make this date good, and I did have fun, but it just wasn’t what, in my opinion, a good date should be.  I could go on and on about the mishaps of this date, but I think this is a good place to stop.

I think he would be better off dating someone a bit younger, more naive and immature…maybe someone who is very “pretty.”

*Positives: He’s a very nice guy, he complimented me quite a bit, he paid for my dessert and drink.

*Negatives: He lacks intelligence all-together, he has no initiative, he isn’t confident in what he wants, he doesn’t appear to have an opinion about anything, is a total pothead, reminds me of “Dolphin Teeth”,  he comes off as very disheveled – not in looks, but more so in demeanor….seriously, I could go on forever.

Second Date?: Highly unlikely.  Though I’m always willing to give second chances in the event a person just had a bad day or what not.  But if I was him, I wouldn’t hold my breath.