Archive | November 2012

Random: Why Sometimes “Games” Are Necessary

In dating and at the beginning of relationships, it’s the one thing we all love to hate.  We go on and on about how much we hate playing games with people and hate how people play games with us, yet at the end of the day, we find ourselves playing them too.  In fact, I can personally say for myself if there isn’t a little bit of a chase and a little bit of uncertainty at the very beginning, I’m probably not going to be interested.  Obviously, if two people are already in a relationship and games are still being played, that just makes the game player in that relationship an asshole and they probably shouldn’t be in a relationship to begin with.

Anyways, what I’m trying to get at here is my belief that there are instances when playing “the game” (or games in general) is necessary.  I’m not saying I condone it to the fullest degree; only on certain occasions and in certain situations.  I honestly didn’t even consider this a topic to write about until I exchanged a couple of text messages with “Snoop” earlier in the day in which I believe further proves that games need to be played in some instances.  So I’ve come up with a (short) list of situations I believe need some game play.

1.) When They’re Just Not Getting It… Here is where my example with “Snoop” comes in.  I was going to just feature these texts in my He Said What?! section, but I felt the need to further explore these texts and analyze them.  Note that these texts were sent to me after I had already ignored some of his previously forward (in my opinion) texts and had been somewhat short with him (my commentary in parenthetical and texts written verbatim, as always):

“Snoop”: I was thinkin about u just wantd 2 check up on u…I really just wantd 2 say i like u and i want u 😉  (definitely not what I’m wanting to see at 10am when I had just gotten home from a flight from the West coast in which I had gotten drunk the previous night, was still drunk during my flight, and was VERY slowly sobering up/becoming hungover)

-Moi: I’m sorry, you’re a cool guy and all, but I am not interested in you in that way.  I apologize if I made you think otherwise.  But I would like to be friends. (Note my impeccable spelling and grammar…;-))

-“Snoop”: Thats fine.  I am attractd 2 u.  I really meant like a joke….But friends is fine..I want 2 get 2 kno u..I’m not the type 2 make a decsion like that…Its frm the boondocks if u watch the sho (Really?  Way to completely retract what you had initially said and to assume that I even know what Boondocks is…the only Boondocks I know is “The Boondock Saints” and that’s a whole other story)

In this instance, as one can see, I had straight up told this gentleman I was not interested.  Even though we had had a great date, I’m just not attracted to him in a sexual way.  Before I had told him that I was not interested in him, I had ignored a couple of text messages and gave him short, but still cordial, responses.  I never indicated any attraction whatsoever.  When I told him straight up that I was not interested, I get some weird response back.  First off, although he truly may have been joking, would a guy really send that to a girl he barely knows that he’s obviously attracted to if he was just joking?  No.  Secondly, why preface “it was a joke!” with “I am attracted to you?”  Is it just me, or does that not make sense?  And if you read it in a different way, it’s almost as if he’s saying he meant that he was attracted to me as a joke??

Anyways, as far as game play with this one, since I’ve already told him how I feel and was straight up, the only thing I can think of to deter him from myself is to either tell him I have a boyfriend, or if I see him out ever, aggressively flirt with someone else.

2.) When I Really Like Someone, But Am Too Scared to Become Vulnerable... I know, this one sounds both weird and selfish.  And yes, it is both of those 100%.  I’m not saying this so that people will be like, “Oh poor girl, she’s just always getting hurt!  I pity her!”  I’m saying this because it’s the truth.  I get hurt.  A lot.  I guess you could say I have the unfortunate characteristic of caring far too much for people who maybe don’t care about me as much or are unwilling to express their care for me.  As I’ve said numerous times, I don’t find a connection with men very often, so when I do, I truly fall hard.  And in falling hard comes the caring.  But it’s to the point where I feel like I’ve been hurt so much that I am terrified of it happening again and one day just falling apart completely.  So when I really like a guy, I tend to act like I don’t like him.  For example, we may have spent the previous night all over each other, but if I see him the next day, I’ll be distant.  Sometimes I’ll barely even talk to the guy and maybe will even flirt with other guys in front of him, including his friends.  Obviously, this has it’s downfalls (big downfalls), but it’s my way of keeping myself from getting attached to a guy.  It doesn’t always work, but it certainly does help.  So yes, this one is a very selfish reason as to why to play games, but it helps keep my heart in one piece.

3.) When I’m Not 100% Sure How a Guy Feels About Me…If you’ve been reading my blog, you’ll know that in my past, I’ve always put my eggs in one basket.  If I really liked a guy, even without knowledge of how he felt about me,  it was all about him, even if I would still go around and flirt with other guys.  Even if I chatted it up with other guys, that one guy would always be in the back of my head.  I’m a really social and flirty person, so for me, flirting is basically like saying hello.  Anyhoo, I’ve gotten to the point where I’ve decided keeping my options completely open is the best way for me.  I guess this wouldn’t really be considered playing games, but in some ways it kind of is…depending on who you ask.  And what I mean by completely open is talking to all guys and every guy who crosses my path.  For example, while I think I do have a connection with “TOWWETB” (we still haven’t gone on an official date…I’m working on it), I’ve also been talking to “Mr. Big (Present)” a bit (yes, even though he has a girlfriend…I told you I’m keeping my options open!) and still have my eye on my guy(s) at the gym, amongst other men.  Obviously, if things were to really progress with one of these men and I knew that he really did like me and only me, I would cut ties to all these other men.  But until I am 100% sure about how a guy feels about me, I’m going to be keeping my options wide open…so any takers out there??  😉

Date #32: “Snoop”

How We Met: I met him at a private party I was working a couple of weeks ago.  It was a fun little party in which I was encouraged to be friendly with the guests.  “Snoop” came to my bar a couple of times and seemed really chill, but quiet.  We introduced ourselves, talked for a bit, and then that was that.  Later on in the week, I attended the party as a guest and bumped into “Snoop” as I was leaving.  He said we should go out for lunch or something sometime so I gave him my number and we figured out a day to meet up.

-Rating:

*Physical Aesthetics: 6

*Appearance: 6

*Personality: 9

*Manners: 9

*Intelligence: 9

*Confidence: 7

*Overall Rating: 9

The Date: I wasn’t actually supposed to go on this date until a little bit later in the week.  But the guy that my boss had set me up with flaked on me (yet again), so I decided to move this date up.  All I really remembered about this guy is that he reminded me of Snoop Dogg and looked like he walked right out of a rap video.  But I do remember him being very nice.  Since I was going on this date after work, I told my co-workers about the guy.  One of my co-workers had also worked this private party and after I had mentioned what this guy looked like and how he was, she said that he was really weird and borderline rude to her, wearing his hood up with his face covered the entire time he was at the party.  While it didn’t sound like “Snoop”, I only worked one night of the party while she had worked numerous nights so I thought  maybe it could have been him.  This made me a bit nervous to go on this date with him.

We decided to meet at The Cheesecake Factory, which I was very excited about because that place is delicious!  I walked in and ended up just sitting at the bar.  I couldn’t remember exactly what he looked like and there was some guy dressed up like he could have been in a rap video at the front, but I didn’t know if it was him so I didn’t want to go up to him haha.  Luckily, he realized I had walked in and found me.  He had just come from Barnes and Noble, where he was looking at the book Arabian Nights.  I was actually shocked he even knew this book existed because 1.) I most definitely stereotyped him as someone who wasn’t very cultured and 2.) I only expect people who are really into literature to know classics such as that.  So I was pleasantly surprised.  Initially, it was a bit awkward and conversation wasn’t really flowing.  But eventually we got to the point where it flowed nicely.  Turns out, we had a lot to talk about, from where we grew up, to what we’re currently wanting to do, to sports, to arts and humanities.  Besides learning that he’s into reading classic books, I also discovered that he’s very into the arts.  He really enjoys theater and the opera, and has seen performances in such places as The Met.  He mentioned having seen some operas that I would have never expected him to utter.  Honestly it was refreshing to be on a date with someone who was well cultured and had a lot to say for himself.  The only thing that really turned me off is the fact that he owned a couple of dispensaries and is in the process of selling them with the legalization of marijuana.  Nothing wrong with weed and nothing wrong with people who smoke it…I just don’t, nor do I really enjoy being around potheads.  But he seemed like he had his head on his shoulders so that was only a minor thing.

Conversation really picked up when we started discussing sports.  He’s a huge sports fan, as am I.  We talked about how we both want to go to all the major games for every type of sport there is (i.e. World Cup for soccer, Wimbledon for tennis, The Olympics, etc.).  We then started talking about football since the game was on (ya know, only one of the most important football games now that Peyton Manning is on the team).  He’s from Chicago (what’s my deal with guys from there?) and I’m originally from San Francisco, so it was only fitting we talk about Monday Night Football and how the Bears and 49ers were playing one another.  I’m not kidding you, we probably talked about this for 30 min to an hour.  I’m all about my home state pride, and he is about the Bears, so we went back and forth arguing about who was going to win the game (the 49ers will for sure though…).  As we were arguing this, the poor people next to us who had just gotten done with the Broncos game had to listen to us go back and forth about this haha.

It was getting late (for me, I’m a baby), so after we finished our “argument”, he walked me back to my car and we parted ways, of course still somewhat going back and forth about the game.  He texted me when I got home, hoping that I had a safe drive and that he was sorry for being so nervous (I didn’t notice??).  Sweet guy for sure.  All in all, I would have to say that this was a pretty successful date, especially in comparison to my last few dates.  Unfortunately, I didn’t feel any kind of spark with him.  The du-rag and baggy clothes just wasn’t doing it for me.  But he’s a cool guy and I could see myself hanging out with him again for sure.  🙂

*Positives: Very kind, paid for my dinner (FINALLY, someone is a gentleman!), surprisingly very cultured, has his head on straight, is a total go-getter, loves sports as much as I do, is well versed, is from one of my favoritist cities EVER

*Negatives: Dresses like he walked straight out of a rap video, doesn’t have proper table manners, I’m assuming he smokes weed since he owns a dispensary, owns a dispensary, never finished college

Second Date?: Probably.  He was a nice fellow, and I wouldn’t mind hanging out with him again.  Just wish he’d dress better…=)

Random: I Think I May Have Found “TOWWETB”??

🙂

So this will probably be my shortest post on here, since I really don’t want to jinx anything.  I was going to do an update post, but I thought this would be more appropriate since it’s the current situation.

Anyways, we haven’t gone on an official date yet, so I can’t really write my usual write up about this one.  But I think a certain gentleman I have been hanging out with a lot lately may be “The One Who Will End This Blog”, although that won’t be his nickname when (and if) I write about him.  I will say that it was definitely unexpected and most certainly not who I ever imagined it could possibly be, but I will be happy if it is.  I haven’t felt this way in a really long time (not since “Mr. Big (Present)”), and even my feelings for this one might possibly be rivaling that of “Mr. Big (Present)”.  I won’t lie, he doesn’t fit every single characteristic that I desire in a man (click here for that list), but something just feels right when we’re together.  Plus, he was kind of the one who initiated everything.  Obviously, I helped in it too (I tend to randomly make out with guys…), but I’ll give him most of the credit.  Again, I can’t go into detail about this either because 1.) We haven’t gone out on an official date yet and 2.) I don’t want to jinx things.  I will say that I have known him for quite some time and that this is the first time I have ever seen him in a different light other than just as a friend.  And I’m not sure why I never considered it before, but now that the opportunity is on the table, it might just work out.  As always though, part of me is scared because we have  A LOT of mutual friends, and if something were to happen I wouldn’t want things to get weird.  I’m also scared that maybe I’m just some girl that he thinks is pretty and he just wants to get some (this is an unfortunate trend I find myself in a lot more than I desire).  Granted, we were friends first and foremost – not super close or anything, but friends nonetheless.  So I’m hoping this isn’t just some “Let’s be fuck buddies, but just that, and never anything else because I would never date you and I don’t really give a shit about you” type deals.  So I guess we’ll see what ends up happening!!  Even though things seem to be heading in the “blog ender” direction, things are still uncertain so….

In the meantime, don’t think I’m just going to give up on getting to 50 Dates!!!!  😉  I’m far from putting all my eggs in one basket!  Here is a list of men that I will eventually (hopefully) get around to going on a date with.  They’re all potentials who I know are most definitely interested in going on a date with yours truly:

*Guy at the gym who I’ve been staring at (and he’s been staring back at me) for the past 4+ months – no, we still haven’t spoken.  I know, I fail.

*Waiter that I met last week who dealt with me and my crazy, beautiful friends from the gym…and it turns out he also goes to our gym!

*Guy that my boss set me up with

*A few guys from What’s Your Price (though I’m not really looking forward to any of those)

*A guy who used to date one of my old roomies who has had some sort of attraction to me ever since they broke up and I keep bumping into him at random bars

*AN OLDER GENTLEMAN CO-WORKER OF MINE WHO HAS SAID NUMEROUS TIMES HE IS GOING TO TAKE ME OUT AND SHOW ME JUST HOW GREAT OLDER MEN REALLY ARE, BUT EVERY TIME I INQUIRE ABOUT IT, HE IGNORES IT!!  (Yes, I know you know who you are!!!)

*A guy who works at my place of occupation (but isn’t a co-worker of mine…at least not directly) who is just a super lovely person

*A guy I met at a private party I worked last week

*Possibly a guy who I went to high school with

So yes, I have a few potential dates that I could possibly make happen.  And I will most definitely try to make them all happen.  But with my potential “TOWWETB” in the picture, any motivation to go on these dates is looking slimmer by the minute….

Date #31: “Turtle”

How We Met: We met at a mutual friend’s going away party.  Really, I should use the term “met” loosely, considering the fact that he never actually introduced himself.  In fact, I had to go ask someone what his name was after like an hour because I felt bad that he had been in the same room as me and talking to me, but I didn’t even know his name.  Basically, at this going away party, it was segregated into a lot of people upstairs and a few people downstairs.  So being the lameass that I am, I chose to hang out with the calm, quiet, few people in the basement.  And “Turtle” was one of them.  Oh and on a sidenote, this nickname isn’t a reference to Turtle on Entourage, because I’m pretty sure even he has more game than this guy I went out with.  Anyways, towards the end of the night, this guy ended up sitting right next to me, and I noticed kept scooting closer and closer to me.  I’m not a shy person, so I didn’t mind this or think twice of it.  But it was to the point where when he left his seat momentarily, this cute little dog came and practically sat on my lap, and he made the dog move so he could sit by me when he came back, gently scolding the dog for even thinking about sitting by me.  WTF.  Okay, enough with the sidenotes…so “Turtle” leaves the party without saying bye and I don’t think anything of it.  Until I find out the next day that he managed to find me on Facebook (I’ve made myself fairly private) and added me as a friend.  Not wanting to be rude, and since I met him in person, I decided to accept his friend request.  He began to message me and we set up a date to meet.

-Rating:

*Physical Aesthetics: 4-5

*Appearance: 6

*Personality: 3-4

*Manners: 3-4

*Intelligence: 6

*Confidence: 4

*Overall Rating: 4

The Date: I’m to the point where I’m completely over going on all these awful dates.  I know why they’re awful too.  Because I’m just not into them, nor the guys they are with.  I would rather spend my free time with people I am 100% sure I will enjoy (a.k.a my friends).  Hence why I rarely go on dates on the weekends.  Waste my lovely weekend on some guy that I know nothing will work with?  Please.

Anyways, as I’ve clearly prefaced the following, this date wasn’t good either.  We decided to meet at a bar right by my work so I could just quickly run over there afterwards.  I sent him my phone number to text me, yet he was either too timid or doesn’t text (which I highly doubt), so I didn’t even know if he was at the bar or not at our planned time.  I told him (through Facebook) that I would have to still change and what not before I met him over there so I may be later than our planned time, and all he said was, “Well I’ll see you when you’re there.”  Strange.  I could have totally stood this guy up.  So of course I take my sweet ass time getting ready and having a drink with my favorite co-workers while I’m getting ready.  It was a little over 30 minutes after I told him I would be off work, and I still hadn’t heard from him.  For a second, I thought maybe he just didn’t show.  So I was SO tempted to not even make my way over to that bar and just hang out at work, because, well…I love my co-workers.  🙂  But I didn’t want to be a total bitch, plus I still need to get to 50 guys here, so I went.  It turns out he was already there at the bar, just waiting for me.  Why he couldn’t text me to let me know he was there, especially since I showed up very late?  I do not know.

I go to sit down, and he IMMEDIATELY begins to scoot his chair extremely close to me again.  And when I say close, I mean he was practically sitting in my lap by the end of our stay at the bar.  I just thought it was so weird, and maybe that’s his way of showing he likes a girl or whatever, but it’s strange.  Anyways, we start talking and I recognize immediately that we have nothing in common.  Whatsoever.  We hang out at very different places and enjoy doing very different things.  Okay…maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration.  But in my mind, we had nothing in common.  He works at a company that he started, working with hedge funds.  He works from home.  He goes out every once in awhile with his friends.  I did most of the talking.  Booooooring.  Luckily, my co-workers were still at work and texting me so I decided to move our date to my work, which I know is lame, but at least I would have all my favorites there to witness how awful this was all going.  As we’re closing our bill, I reach for my credit card, and “Turtle” doesn’t even blink.  He doesn’t offer to buy my drink, and just puts his credit card down and tells the bartender to split it.  Seriously??  Again, not saying I need to be paid for, but at least FUCKING OFFER!!  Be a fucking gentleman!!  I know I’m a bit of a princess in that, but I can’t help it – the guys in my life take care of me without question, so I’m just used to it.  And even when I try to buy them stuff, they refuse and make me put my money away.  True gentleman they are.  So of course I was already irritated that he didn’t offer, but I still let him come hang out with me at work.

We get to my work, and since I had been texting my co-worker “E-Slide” on how awful the date had been going already, you could tell everyone either already knew this or in their head were thinking, “What the fuck is she doing with a guy like that?!”  He just gave off a weird vibe.  Like a super timid, awkward vibe.  Anyways, we go to sit down and of course, again, he scoots his chair so close to me he’s practically in my lap.  Why he thinks this is attractive in any way, I’m not too sure.  Because I don’t like having someone I’m already uncomfortable with that close to me…ever.  But yes, he was practically in my lap again.  Luckily, my boss and “E-Slide” were in the vicinity so we all just start talking.  I kind of felt bad because at that point I kind of started ignoring him (or at least tried my best to).  He started GAWKING at me, even when I was just listening to someone else talk.  Instead of looking at the person talking, what most socially competent people would do, I would catch him just gawking at me in such a creepy way.  I seriously just wanted to die on the inside.  So can you really blame me for ignoring him?  Plus I noticed that he would change how he spoke to my boss (who’s a guy) in opposed to me or “E-Slide” – like the inflection in his voice and his demeanor changed, almost as if to “look cool” or “fit in.”  So unattractive.  He kept asking me when I was free again, and what I was going to be doing over the weekend, and luckily I’m busy so I told him that.  He seemed bummed, for what reason I don’t know, because I’m pretty sure I gave him every sign in the book that I wasn’t interested in him at all in the least bit.  When it was time to leave, “E-Slide” wanted me to walk her to her car since this one creepy security guard has been lurking around lately, so I told her I would.  “Turtle” was parked in front of the first bar we were at, which was only a block and 1/2 down the street from where we were at so I thought we were going to part ways.  But being the dumbass I can be sometimes, I offered to give him a ride to his car, which for some reason he agreed to.  Again, what the fuck.  I didn’t have a drink at work so I didn’t think to tip my boss (he was bartending), but “Turtle” definitely had two drinks, and not only did he not make any offer of payment, he didn’t even try tipping.  Horrible impression to make on someone who works in the industry.

So I walk “E-Slide” to her car, and then drive “Turtle” to his.  The entire time he’s trying to talk about my car like he knows cars so well and keeps comparing it to a hybrid.  At this point, I’m already so grossed out and not attracted to him, that I just can’t even really listen to him nor take him seriously.  We get to his car, and he gives me an awkward hug where he accidentally (but probably not accidentally, let’s be real) brushes up against my boob, then leaves.  Ugh.

*Positives: I really wish I could think of even one.  Oh…I guess he’s somewhat intellectual since he majored in biology.  And he’s from Chicago, and I’m in love with that city.  That’s about it.

*Negatives: He’s not physically attractive in any way whatsoever, he is extremely awkward, HE DIDN’T PAY FOR HIS DRINK AT MY WORK NOR TIP MY BOSS, didn’t offer to buy me a drink, weirdly kept scooting closer and closer to me, attempted to touch my leg or back every so often and it just came off as super weird and creepy, kept gawking at me for no apparent reason (also super creepy), is socially inept, has no characteristics I desire whatsoever, and clearly can’t take a hint.

Second Date?: No.  Absolutely not.  He sent me a message over Facebook (why can’t the fucker just text me?!) asking me what I was doing this weekend which I ignored.  Finally, this prompted him to text me super late at night asking me where I was at.

Date # 30: “Eccentric Cheeseball”

How We Met:  It’s actually kind of funny how we “met.”  I was at home minding my own business and working on some music (I’ll be posting that here soon once I start recording!) when my phone began to blow up with numerous text messages.  Apparently, “Indian Warrior” and one of our friends were at a Chili’s eating dinner and they thought that I should go on a date with their waiter.  “Indian Warrior” explained to me that “Eccentric Cheeseball” overheard them talking about me dating and how I am part of that site What’s Your Price?, and was immediately interested in what was going on.  To my understanding, they told him he should go on a date with me and got all his contact information for me.  They said he was 29 and that he was interested in going on a date with me.  They sent me a link of his Facebook so I could see his picture, and I thought he was cute so I figured why not.  I eventually sent him a text and we began to talk.  At first, he seemed like a really cool guy, but after awhile, his text messages were EXTREMELY cheesy (some text messages will be posted in He Said WHAT?! so you can all see for yourself).  I was almost wondering if he had thought of the cheesiest lines he could come up with and use them, thinking they were funny.  I’m sure some people would have thought the things he was saying was sweet, but to a no bullshit girl like myself, I wasn’t falling for it.  The only time cheesy is okay is if I already know a guy and I know he’s purposely being cheesy.  Then it’s kinda funny…and maybe cute.  Anyways, we’re both fairly busy people so in trying to find a time to meet up at, we had plenty of time to text.  I really can’t explain to you how cheesy his text messages were…it’s something I would expect from a clingy boyfriend.  So you can only imagine how much I wasn’t looking forward to this date.  But I promised “Indian Warrior” that I would be nice.

-Rating:

*Physical Aesthetics: 9

*Appearance: 9

*Personality: 7

*Manners: 6

*Intelligence: 8

*Confidence: 6

*Overall Rating: 7

(I just realized, I probably should have rated everyone’s common sense as well from the get go.  Oh well…)

The Date: Initially, he wanted us to make a whole weekend night of it…dinner, and dancing afterwards.  While it sounded great, I’d rather spend my weekend nights with my lovely friends having the time of my life; not stuck with a potentially shitty date.  Luckily, because he was so anxious to meet me, we sped up our meeting.  We decided to meet at a Starbucks in a Barnes and Noble, which I thought was a lovely idea since I love both Starbucks and Barnes and Noble.  As I was parking and walking to the Starbucks, I noticed a guy walking by me that looked like “Eccentric Cheeseball” and it was indeed him.  I most certainly thought he was attractive physically, dressed well and in good shape.  We introduced ourselves then he had me walk with him to his car to put some books away.  He had me hold one (even though he didn’t need help holding the books and didn’t bring it into the Starbucks with us…not sure why I was holding it to begin with) called The Female Brain.  While there is nothing wrong with reading up about the opposite sex (and granted, I was basing my judgment on the name of the book), I saw this as a HUGE red flag in that he could quite possibly be one of those people who read a bunch of books  about the opposite sex and believe what they say, but have no tangible experience themselves on the topic.  I brought this up with him, to which he retorted reasoning that he enjoys reading psychological books such as that.  This then later on lead to him discussing the fact that he has over 70 hours in “non-scholastic psychological study” and he continued to remind me throughout our entire date how psychologically sound he was.  Funny thing is, he brought up the fact that he doesn’t even have his associate degree, and that he’s one math class away from finishing that.  Considering the fact that I have a few friends who studied psychology in college and have one friend who is in the process of getting her doctorates, this made me chuckle deep down inside.

We went inside to sit down at Starbucks and he asked me what I wanted.  Weirdly enough though, after asking me what I wanted, he didn’t even offer to pay.  I’m not saying I need every guy to pay for me, but if you’re going to ask me what I want, shouldn’t you be paying?  Anyways, we then further discussed other topics.  Honestly, our entire conversation was so psychologically based, but not in an intellectual way whatsoever.  I felt like he was trying to amateurishly analyze me the entire time.   He then asked me what my favorite animal was.  While this wouldn’t be weird in any other situation, he said that whatever animal I picked would describe my personality completely and how I am as a person.  Again, back to the whole constant analyzation of me as a whole.  He made some other weird comments, such as not consuming anything he wants but only something he needs (in this case, apparently his only needs are water and chicken).  He then contradicted himself thereafter when I asked him if he ever goes out on the weekends and has drinks with his friends, to which he replied yes.  Well as we all know, alcohol is not a need (well…unless you’re an alcoholic, I guess).  He mentioned that he was really social and had been so since a young age, and that he used to be teased because he was so confident, or social, or something of that sort.  He was fairly loud and animated when trying to describe something, and I wouldn’t have been surprised if some people were looking at him thinking “What the fuck…”  Anyways, in a nutshell, this guy either had really strange social experiences, or wasn’t as experienced socially as he claimed to be.  Because he was weird as fuck!  In fact, our topics and conversation were so strange that I will list a couple of the topics here:

-A woman’s menstrual cycle and how it can lead to cancer because it’s not natural for a woman to have a period

-What our purpose of living was and why we each thought we were put here in this life

-Wants vs. Needs and which one is worth satiating (or not)

-How no one in the world has ever had an original thought

While none of these topics are too extreme, for a first date it’s a little too much.  The best part of our entire date was when he found out I was writing a blog about dating.  He had mentioned that he had overheard my friends talking about me trying to date 50 different guys this year and he asked what number he was.  I’m a dumbass (or maybe not) and assumed he just knew about my blog from my friends, so I started talking about it and told him what number he was.  We then started talking about dating in general, and I talked a lot about posting about dating and how a lot of my dates were interesting, to say the least.  He then began to put two and two together.  Apparently, he didn’t know about my blog until I had mentioned it and just thought I was dating around.  He  then asked me if I wrote about every date I went on and had a bit of a worried look on his face, to which I responded “No, I only write about some of them” (haha, sucker).  He made it sound like he had a lot of experience in dating, but his actions and demeanor around me told me otherwise.  I almost felt like he was trying to overcompensate for his lack of social skills by trying to impress me with his “astounding knowledge” of psychology.  I could go on and on and on about how ridiculous this date was all-together but I’ll just leave it at this.  Luckily I had to go to work that night, so I only had to spend 2 hours with him, which was really far too long.

*Positives: He was physically attractive, in shape, plays soccer, is actually (or at least seems to appear) pretty smart, engaging (in a strange way, but nevertheless engaging), dressed well

*Negatives: He was a fucking weirdo, to say the least, analyzed me the entire time, talked about a lot of stuff that shouldn’t be discussed on a first date, didn’t even offer to pay for my drink, sent me the weirdest text messages (don’t forget to check out He Said What?! for the ridiculous messages he sent me), enjoys partying in the suburbs (seriously, his favorite “night club” is in the suburbs), kept calling me “Sweetie” before we had even met, and has nothing whatsoever going for him in life,

Second Date?: Haha, I highly doubt it.  I think he got the idea that I wasn’t into him.  Plus I haven’t gotten any cheesy fucking text messages since our date, so I think it’s safe to say a second date is not in our future.  Maybe he should psychoanalyze himself and how he presents himself to others before he starts analyzing other people.  Just a thought…

Random: An Insight Into My Dating Life (Story #2)

(This is the second story in a series of stories I am calling “An Insight Into My Dating Life.”  For the first story, click here. )

Here is yet another glimpse of my past dating life for you all to enjoy.  I’m going to take you all back in time, when things were much simpler, and the only thing to worry about was whether you were going to get a McDonald’s Happy Meal for dinner that night or not, and whether your toy was the girl toy or the boy toy (hehe, boy toy…).  Follow me back down memory lane, to the land of Dionysus (for those of you who don’t follow metaphors, a.k.a. Napa Valley), where I met my very first crush….

I remember it like it was yesterday.  I was in kindergarten, and he was in 1st grade.  I would be lying if I said I could remember the first time I laid eyes on him, but his sheer existence was magical for me.  I would see him during lunch, drinking his V8, thinking how handsome he was drinking it.  I would see him on the playground for recess, hanging out with his friends.  Since there is absolutely no chance of him reading this (and even if he somehow found this, he probably wouldn’t realize it was about him), I will use his real name, Richard.

I would stare at Richard everyday at lunch and recess and get giggly about him.  My best friend at the time knew about my little crush on him, so I would talk to her about it.  Finally, Valentine’s Day came around – the holiday where (apparently in my mind) you confess your love for another and you live happily ever after.  My best friend (or maybe it was me, shit this was awhile ago I can’t remember) came up with the idea to write him a card that said “I love you” on it.  So during recess, we stayed behind for a little bit in the classroom.  I took some construction paper and a marker and wrote a card that said “To: Richard, Love: Leslie” and on the front I drew some hearts and wrote “I Love You.”  I was pretty proud of myself.  The only problem now was giving it to him.

A trait that I find myself still carrying around to this day is being too chicken to tell a guy how I feel.  I’ll make every excuse in the book and stall until finally it just explodes out of me.  So yes, this is exactly what happened with Richard.  My best friend was with me and kept telling me to just give him the card, but I didn’t know how to.  So I contemplated for what seemed like an eternity (maybe only like 30 minutes) on how I was going to go about doing this.  I kept following him around at a far distance on the playground, trying to find the exact moment to give him the card.  I ended up just throwing it at him and running away.  At first I was so proud of myself…a bit embarrassed, but nonetheless proud.  I continued to play on the playground with my friend.  But of course, no happy story (at least in my love life) has a happy ending.

As soon as he read the card, he began to show his friends.  Word soon spread around the playground that I had written this Richard fellow a card confessing my love to him.  And the teasing began….horrible, cruel, Richard-and-Leslie-sitting-in-a-tree type teasing.  All these other kids started following me around, chasing me, screaming, “Leslie loves Richard!  Leslie loves Richard!”  Even some of the other girls in my class (not my best friend of course) started teasing me (stupid bitches).  All the kids surrounded me and kept teasing me, and I started crying, trying to push them all away.  Of course, Richard was clearly a dick even at this age because he didn’t do anything about it.  I basically threw a huge fit and was hysterical for the rest of recess, to the point that my 8th grade buddy had to be summoned to calm me down (what an angel).  I was pretty upset for the rest of the day, humiliated that my confession of love turned into a mockery amongst my peers.

This is exactly what I felt like…only mine was more teasing that this girl is enduring.

I honestly can’t remember what happened right after my confession.  I can’t remember if I still liked him or not.  I do remember seeing him again after summer vacation when I was in 1st grade and he was in 2nd grade and thinking to myself, “Ew he’s not cute, I can’t believe I thought he was cute.  He’s ugly!”  Yep, even at an early age, I was already shallow.

So what happened to Richard??   Well after 1st grade, I moved so I never talked to him again.  I think when I was 20, I went back to visit and my former best friend had informed me that apparently he had come out….yes, as in he is gay.

As much as I love gay men (and all men really, but especially gay men), I don’t want to date them or have sex with them and I’m pretty sure they feel the same about me.  So I decided that this incident cursed me for life and this is why I’ve had bad luck with men ever since I can remember.  It makes sense why I have a hard time straight up telling guys how I feel and why I hint at it, hoping they’ll just know.  Boom.