Archive | January 2013

A New Theory on “Nice Guys” vs. “Bad Boys”

This is a topic that has been under contemplation for centuries….okay maybe not, but you know what I mean.  The age old saying of, “Nice guys finish last.”  I briefly wrote about this topic last year, and with it posted a video by the lovely Jenna Marbles, in which she makes some great points about the topic.  But today, I am going to enlighten you all with something I came up with on my own.  It’s something I’ve been thinking about as of late, since I have (or at least have attempted very greatly) transitioned from being the girl who always wanted the “bad boy” to the girl who only wants the “nice guy.”

Good vs. Bad

So here is my new theory: Girls want the “bad boys” because they know what they’re getting.  It’s the “nice guys” you have to watch out for, because you never know when they’re going to turn into an asshole out of nowhere.

You’re probably wondering where I got the idea for this theory.  I could make it sound profound, and say I was inspired by a writer such as Sappho with her ambiguous sexuality or even Shakespeare, with all his romantic tragedies.  Alas, the real answer is Captain Jack Sparrow from “Pirates of the Caribbean.”  Yep.  He said the following quote:

  “Me? I’m dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It’s the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they’re going to do something incredibly… stupid.”

I’ve simply applied this lovely little quote to the dichotomy of “bad boys” vs. “nice guys” and I think it works out pretty nicely.  Here’s the breakdown:

-With “bad boys”, you can always expect them to be bad.  You expect them to be a jackass to you and you never expect them to do anything nice.  While it’s sad to know that a guy will never treat you right, it becomes expected and you know what you’re getting.  They’re mean to you, don’t treat you well, never answer you when you try to contact them, and you’re almost always fighting with them about one thing or another.   On occasion out of the blue, they will do something very sweet or actually treat you the way you deserve.  And you feel surprised, and a bit shocked, and maybe even honored.  But then just as fast as that unexpected bout of niceness came, they’re back to being a complete asshole.  This is a guaranteed thing.  Example of this: “Mr. Big (Past)”

Ohhhhh yeahhhhh

Ohhhhh yeahhhhh

-With “nice guys”, you really don’t know what you’re going to get.  They’re great – they treat you well, are super nice to you, almost always respond to your calls and texts (because in the girl world, we really do associate this with “nice guys”), they make you feel super comfortable and the term “fights” is not one that you use in your vocabulary with this type of guy.  You’re 100% convinced you finally found a good one who you don’t have to worry about.  But you can never predict when they’re all of a sudden going to turn into a giant asshole.  You get so comfortable with them being nice that when they all of a sudden turn into an asshole, it’s a bit devastating – especially to the ego.  So maybe, they never really were a “nice guy” to begin with, but they just hid it very well??  Examples of this: “Mr. Big (Present)”, “Box Office Hipster” (I haven’t written about him yet, but I will), “Hollywood” (though I think a lot of his issues is that he’s super insecure)

Gosh I wish someone would do all those things for me...for reals....

Gosh I wish someone would do all those things for me…for reals….

So yeah, that’s just my new theory about the whole “Bad Boys” vs. “Nice Guys” dichotomy.

But here’s another question I have for you all….why don’t you ever hear anything about “Bad Girls” vs. “Nice Girls”??  I mean, it’s definitely out there, but discussions about it aren’t as prevalent.  Why is that??

Just some thoughts….;-)

UPDATES, UPDATES, Read all about them!!

Well it’s time for another update!!!  🙂  I’m not sure how interesting this is going to be (sorry) since I’m a fairly boring individual.  But I hope you still enjoy it nevertheless.

Moi: So again, I’m a fairly boring individual.  In the short hiatus I took from here, I was busy (and I guess still kind of am) catching up with people I hadn’t seen in a very long time and just living life.  I’m currently in hiatus at one of my jobs at the moment so I’ve had a bunch of free time.  I’ve also been in the process of looking for a new job in hopes to move to the city.  Also, I just get bored really easily and need a job that’s more intriguing.  But being the impatient soul I am, I’ve just been getting super frustrated and I know eventually I will just give up.  Because I suck like that.  What I really should be doing during this wonderful little break I have been given is work on my passion and what I really want to do…which is perform.  Specifically, sing.  Here’s a little snippet (or 2) of me singing, hopefully it spices up this post since I’m already bored just writing it:

So yeah, really that’s what I should be working on.  But I’m not.  😦  I’ve also become a bit of a homebody…like probably more so than I should.  My BFF “Tinky Winky Pooh Bear” read my tarot cards while she was in town (ya, I’m weird like that) and my immediate future pulled the hermit card so I guess it all makes sense??  Maybe something is wrong with me….

Sad, the website where I found this pic was about clinical depression...

Sad, the website where I found this pic was about clinical depression…

“Mr. Big (Present)”: So things are officially, 100% over with this one, and I couldn’t be happier.  I had randomly noticed one day that he had deleted me off of Facebook.  But I gave him the benefit of the doubt because sometimes Facebook will just delete your friends for no reason.  It’s dumb, really.  Actually, the fact that I’m even writing about him deleting me off Facebook is pretty dumb in itself as well…just let it happen though.  Haha.  Anyways, I asked him about it and he did indeed himself delete me.  He said it was because he had no reason to talk to some of the girls from his past, that he had deleted not just me but some other girls, and that it wasn’t personal.  Funny thing is, he was JUST talking to me a week or so before this happened…. Anyways, I asked him if his girlfriend caught him sneaking around, and he claimed she didn’t.  It’s very unlike him to do something like that all of a sudden though so either 1.) He’s super serious about this girl…like SUPER serious or 2.) He got caught, even if he won’t admit it.  I was kind of a bitch back to him, told him that I hope he had deleted my number too so I wouldn’t be getting phone calls when him and his girlfriend inevitably break up, and thankfully he did (or so he says).  Anyways, I think this kind of put closure on the whole situation, and while initially I was kind of confused why he would do it, and maybe even a tad bit hurt, because I thought of us as somewhat of friends in a way, I’m happy he did.  It needed to be done.  After this, I deleted his number as well, so now there’s no way to communicate with him, even if I was tempted.  🙂

"Mr. Big (Present)" wishes this could be his life everyday.  Also, I just really love everyone in this picture, so I wanted to post it.

“Mr. Big (Present)” wishes this could be his life everyday. Also, I just really love everyone in this picture, so I wanted to post it.

“Snoop”: I still get texts from this guy occasionally, telling me he was thinking about  me and that he hopes I’m doing well.  He did text me right before Christmas asking if I wanted to hang out for Christmas which I thought was really strange because we barely know one another, so of course I declined.  I’m not sure if he’s just bored or he still has some hope, but nothing will come of it.

“Secret Sleaze”: A couple of days after our date, he asked me if I wanted to go to dinner.  I was so tired from having been up so late almost every night that week so I declined.  Then he asked me if I wanted to do dinner the next night instead.  I had already had plans with some of my girlfriends, so again I declined, but said if he wanted to come hang out with me and the girls he was more than welcomed (obviously I was only saying this to be nice).  To this he responded with, “Are you calling me a girl?!”  which I didn’t think was a funny joke at all.  So this is when we got in our discussion of why he always made fun of himself and he said he just likes to make people laugh and that he’s learned that not everyone is going to like you and that’s okay.  Not sure what that had to do with him making fun of himself but okay.  Basically, I told him he came off as insecure since he kept making fun of himself and justifying the shit he said instead of just owning it, but that that was just my opinion.  To which his response was, “And you’re allowed to have your own opinion” or something like that.  WELL NO SHIT!!  Clearly, he’s not the smartest crayon in the box.  Anyways, that was the last bit of correspondence we’ve had – I think he got the picture.

And the one you’ve all been waiting for…..

“Future Hubby” –  So I had a whole thing written out for this one as far as an update was concerned, but then I realized I was just ranting.  So to sum us up in a nutshell, we’re basically a roller coaster.  Not a really crazy one that makes you want to puke and pee your pants, but a moderate one.  We’re definitely a work in progress, maybe a bit more so than most.

So I’m definitely competing for his attention with another bitch, and I’m not enjoying that one bit.  You know what that bitches name is?  Alcohol.  Yep.  I usually win and don’t have to compete with her very often, but when I do, it’s not very fun at all.  So after I wrote the last post about him, I kind of backed off.  But then I missed him too much, so I started talking to him again.  I’m trying this thing this year where if I want to do something or talk to someone or say something, I’m just going to do it.  I’m not going to think about the dumb things that we ladies like to overthink sometimes.  I’m just going to do it.  So yes we started talking again and things were going well.  We’d go out, have fun, come back and do our thing (which also is a work in progress – I’m teeny tiny, he’s big – things that are only supposed to happen when you first lose your v-card happens – in large quantities…yeah), go to sleep, then hang out for a bit in the morning.   And then of course this week, not only was he not responding to anything I was texting him, I bumped into him at a bar and he was so drunk that he was by himself and didn’t even know where he was really.  We fought pretty much the entire night, but it was like fighting with a child because he was so drunk.  At times, I just had to laugh because it was so ridiculous.  Apparently he had never received any of my texts from this week, and while usually I wouldn’t believe that shit, I’ve been having problems with contacting iPhones for some reason so it’s very possible he never got them.  The week prior, his phone kept automatically rejecting my calls and he’d have to call me back every single time.  I had this problem with “Indian Warrior” too so I know he wasn’t just rejecting my calls….maybe this means I need to upgrade from ghetto phone to smart phone?  Anyways, in our jaunt back to my car, he made a friend along the way who lectured us in relationships and love, even though we both kept telling him we weren’t together, nor were we anywhere near being in love.  But the guy kept telling us he saw something good and that he could tell we’d be really good together.  Is that a sign??

Hahaha....but seriously....

Hahaha….but seriously….

Anyways, so yes this is our situation.  When it’s good, it’s very good.  He’s caring, sweet, makes me laugh, is super attentive, makes sure I’m comfortable, I can have good conversation with him and he’s seriously just everything that I like in a guy.  And about 90% of the time that’s how it is.  And then there’s the 10% that usually involves a copious amount of alcohol.  A week or so ago, I did bring up the fact that I didn’t think he was making a very good effort and that I was making more of an effort than he was, to which he disagreed and said that I don’t make enough of an effort either.  And while this conversation did happen while we were both drunk, he had a good point.  I could probably make more of an effort myself.

I guess my concluding point here is that I’m going to stick this one out.  I really do like him and care about him, and I’ve honestly never felt this way before.  I don’t even know how to describe the feeling…it’s not like in the past where I was super infatuated with the person and would be a crazy person and have my life and thoughts consumed by said person and what not.  It’s just…different.  A good different.  I actually WANT to see him all the time, and WANT to hang out with him all the time, unlike all those others in the past where I didn’t really care if I saw them very often or not.  I think it kind of goes back to  my belief of a relationship being two individuals coming together and sharing their lives together, in opposed to how most people believe it should be two people becoming one person.  I do realize it’s going to take time and a LOT of patience, but they say if you really want something you should fight for it, so that’s what I’m going to do.  I just hope I’m not doing it in vain.

When I saw this, I immediately thought of "Future Hubby".  Hahaha.

When I saw this, I immediately thought of “Future Hubby”. Hahaha.

And to end this all….sorry this is so long…but a question for you all:

What do you want to see me do with my blog?  I’m still kind of in the process of figuring out what to do with it.  I can still continue on with what I’m doing, because I don’t see myself getting serious with “Future Hubby” anytime in the near future.  I could also write some more about my past dating, such as one of the guys who lead me to write this blog.  I guess I’m just still a little lost still as to what to do with this blog.  I’m also thinking about starting a new blog with all my past poetry and maybe some new stuff – I hope that some of you will follow me, even if you hate poetry!!  I promise it won’t be the bland stuff of the past!!  🙂

“Secret Sleaze”

How We Met: So this guy was supposed to be one of my 50 Dates back in 2012.  My boss “Ashlynn Peppermint” put us in contact.  He met this guy at a bar that he frequents and I guess they had become fairly good friends.  We had texted back and forth a couple of times, not ever coming up with a time that worked for both of us.  Finally, he just stopped texting me so I assumed that was that and didn’t really think twice about it.  After about a month or two of not hearing from him, I get a text out of nowhere from “Secret Sleaze” asking if I still wanted to hang out.  While I had already been hanging out with “Future Hubby”, I still wasn’t sure what we were, nor how exclusive we were.  Plus I think he was pissing me off at the time.  So I decided to go meet up with “Secret Sleaze” for a bit at a bar he was at.  He was really sweet and nice, and conversation flowed pretty well.  So we decided to set up an actual date for later in the week.

-Rating:

*Physical Aesthetics: 7

*Appearance: 8

*Personality: 10

*Manners: 5 & 10 (I’ll explain later)

*Intelligence: 7

*Confidence: 5-6 & 10 (again, I’ll explain)

*Overall Rating: 7

The Date: So we decided to go to the restaurant that he was supposed to take me to last year (is it just me, or is it weird to say “last year” and be referring to 2012??).  I had heard a lot of good things about this place, so I was pretty excited.  Plus he seemed like a really cool guy from just having hung out with him the one time and chatting through text, so that was nice too.

We met at the restaurant, and immediately the conversation started flowing – just like the previous time we hung out.  We talked about everything under the sun, from alcoholic drinks we like, to cars and racing them, to what we want to do with our lives.  It was really nice to go on a date with a guy who could actually keep up in conversation.  During a lot of my dates, I felt I had to try and keep conversation going and there’d be awkward moments of silence.  But not with this one!  He’s pretty funny too, so I was laughing a lot of the time.  I felt like we had a lot of good things in common, such as our love for music and our love for cars.  And the food was great too, though a bit out of the ordinary.  We ordered stuff to share and got this appetizer called “Fries with Eyes”, which was whole fried smelt with an aioli sauce.  It was really good!!  I’ve eaten a lot of weird shit, so this didn’t even phase me.  I’m not going to lie, at some points during the date I was thinking that maybe things could work out with this guy and that maybe “Future Hubby” just wasn’t the one for me at all, even though I’d already fallen for him and considered him my potential “TOWWETB”.

But there were definitely two things in our conversation that completely stuck out to me in a not so positive way.  The first would be the fact that he’s already been married and divorced.  While there isn’t anything wrong with that and I’m not one to judge a person on whether they’ve been divorced or not, I think the thing that bothered me about the fact is that it all happened at such a young age (he’s only a couple of years older than me and I’m in my twenties, so you can do the math).  He had told me he married his high school sweetheart and then a year ago they decided they weren’t really that into each other anymore.  It’s sweet to marry your high school sweetheart, but to me it’s a sign of immaturity to not only think you’re going to love your high school sweetheart forever (again, not judging people because it DOES happen and DOES work), but also to get married so soon in life.  If you truly loved a person, couldn’t you wait till you’re a bit older and maybe grow up a bit before you make a decision like that??  Marriage isn’t something to be taken so lightly.  I just feel that people who get married so young or so soon aren’t thinking realistically.  Or maybe I’m just too jaded to understand that kind of emotion.  I’m sure it’s a mix of both the former and the latter.  Plus, I’m not one to want to deal with any excess baggage; NO THANK YOU!  Anyways, on to the next subject.  The second thing that stuck out to me was his outlook on life.  I’m somewhat of a free spirit in that I don’t believe in wasting my young life away slaving away at work all the time.  Don’t get me wrong – I’ve done it in the past.  And looking back on it now, while I don’t regret it, I sometimes wish I hadn’t been working so much and had taken time for myself, to just enjoy life.  His whole outlook on life is the complete opposite of mine – his plan is to work as much as he can now and work as hard as he can so that eventually, later on in life, he’ll hopefully have a couple million in the bank and he could just live off that for the rest of his life.  Then hopefully then he’d have someone to just sit around and enjoy it with.  While I’m sure that’s the dream of a lot of people, I guess I just don’t understand it.  By the time I’m old and wrinkly, I just want to sit on my ass.  In my world, NOW is the time to be doing what you love, NOW is the time to be enjoying your life, NOW is the time to be experiencing things.  Plus, I feel when someone is so into their job that they don’t have time for anything else, they also don’t have time for dating or finding someone to date.  Or if they do have someone, they’ll never have time for that person and that person will eventually find someone who does have time for them.  So inevitably, the person who makes their job #1 above all will always be alone.  And that’s most definitely not something I want.

Okay wow, totally off topic.  Talk about a long ass rant.  Let’s digress and go back to the main point of this post….

So after dinner I offered to drive him home since he had taken a cab to the restaurant.  On the walk back to my car, it was freezing and I didn’t have a thick jacket, so he put his arm around me.  Normally, I’d consider this cute, but really it was kind of awkward.  I failed to mention earlier that “Secret Sleaze” is little…like when I wear heels, I feel like we’re the same height.  And I’m itty bitty.  So one little person attempting to hold another little person is just all too awkward.  Sorry short guys of the world, short girls don’t really like short guys either, you’re SOL.  Anyways, I drive him home and he asks me if I want to come inside and watch a movie with him.  Granted, it was only 10pm but he had to wake up at 4am so I told him I didn’t want to keep him up and I declined.  He kept trying to get me to come in, saying it was okay if I kept him up and what not.  But I put my foot down and said no.  Besides, I really just wanted to go home…I’ve been kind of a lameass homebody as of late so yeah.  Right before he left my car, he pulled my face to his and gave me a kiss.  Again, one of those moments that are supposed to be cute, but I honestly felt it was super awkward.  Because I sure as hell was not feeling that that was going to be the next move.  And it was after this that I came to the realization that he’s a bit of a sleaze.

Why you might ask…everything that had happened so far seems pretty innocent, yes?  Well…not quite.  It was until that moment when he practically insisted I come inside with him then kissed me that I put everything together.  The first night we met up was the night before New Years Eve.  Being the party girl that I am, I wanted to get a good night’s rest so that I could party it up the next night.  So I told him I was just going to hang out with him for a bit.  That night…THE VERY FIRST NIGHT WE HAD EVEN MET ONE ANOTHER, he tried to get me to stay out with him later, saying, “Oh you could just sleep over at my place.  You could even have your own side of the bed,” trying to make it sound innocent.  The on New Years Eve, I had sent him a text saying that I wasn’t going to be able to meet up with him because I was at a friend’s place and already drunk.  His response to this was, “You can come crash at my place.”  And then on our actual date, he kept asking me to come inside.   I realized after I put these 3 things together that he must have some assumption that I’m a complete whore and just go home with any guy.  Maybe…JUST MAYBE….he was trying to be friendly and just concerned about me drinking and driving or something.  But if I’m already at my friend’s house, why would you make an offer to have me come crash at your place??  Clearly they’re not going to kick me out.  And if that first night he was just trying to be nice, I feel like telling me I could sleep in his bed next to him isn’t the way to do it.  Something more along the lines of….”If you need a place to stay because you’ve been drinking, you’re always welcomed to stay at my place.”  Not, “You can sleep in my bed.  You can have your own side.”  What the fuck.  Seriously.  This goes back to the whole manners thing from above.

Again, I might be blowing everything out of proportion, but personally it didn’t seem like an innocent thing.  It pretty much sounded like this entire time he was just trying to get me to sleep with him.  And we all know I’m no hoe so it’s not just gonna happen like that!!  Hmph!

*Positives: He’s actually pretty attractive, he dresses well, he’s great conversation, he’s funny, he likes to go out and have fun, he grew up racing cars so he really knows how to drive a car

*Negatives: He’s really short, he’s already been married and divorced, he didn’t go to college (I know this makes me sound like such a bitch, but I really just can’t do guys who didn’t go to school…), he’s kind of a sleaze, I noticed that he makes fun of himself a lot and then tries to justify it right after which to me is pretty damn insecure (just own it; don’t justify it!), I feel like there have been instances where he tries too hard to be funny (which goes back to the confidence thing up above), he’s not a huge fan of sports

Second Date?: Honestly, I probably still would go on a second date with him because he was good conversation and a nice guy.  But since I have “Future Hubby”, it’s probably not going to happen.

“Future Hubby”

Note: I guess I really couldn’t stay away that long could I?  🙂  Also, since my 50 Dates thing is over, I guess I’ll just go with the format of writing about the dates without numbering them.  We’ll see how this goes…

How We Met:  So let me start off by saying that this is the potential “TOWWETB” that I’ve been talking about for the past couple of months.  I figured I might as well write about him now since I’ve mentioned him so much, even if we still haven’t gone on an official date.

Anyways, we met back in college sometime during our junior year.  I want to say it was at the beginning of the year, before classes had even started.  I was (and still am) close friends with a group of guys and they would have parties at their house.  They had a hot tub so that was a huge attraction.  Anyways, “Future Hubby” was one of their neighbors.  We were honestly never close or anything.  We saw each other at parties, hung out, drank far too much for our own goods.  But it was never a, “Hey, let’s go hang out sometime to a quiet place.”  We were literally party friends.  Then around our 20th or 21st birthdays (I can’t remember which), we figured out that we’re practically birthday twins, with him being just a day older than me.  That was exciting, so for a couple of years every time our birthdays came around, I always asked him if he wanted to do something together.  Usually we didn’t, but we’d end up bumping into each other at the bars anyways and end up celebrating together.  At my college graduation party, we decided we were going to get married one day.  Obviously, we were really drunk and I can’t remember the details very well.  But my version of the story was that I found out he was majoring in mechanical engineering and I thought that to be a very good future career so I told him we should get married one day, to which he agreed.  His version of the story is that he proposed to me at my graduation party and I accepted.  Since mine makes me sound like a gold digging bitch, I’ll go with his version.  And I hope this explains the nickname I gave him and you all don’t think I’m some crazy lady thinking I’m just going to marry this guy because he’s my potential “TOWWETB”.

After that, we didn’t see much of each other.  I’d bump into him randomly at bars (we seriously party far too much) and we’d hang out, calling each other “Wifey” and “Hubby” the entire time.  A lot of times, he was far too drunk for me to put up with, so we’d hang out briefly and then I would try and run away.  Then a couple of months ago, we bumped into each other again while he was out with our mutual friends and I was out with some of the ladies.  We were just talking and he brought up the fact that we needed to get to know each other if we were going to get married one day.  I think I just laughed at that, but then he got serious…drunk, but serious nonetheless, and said something along the lines of the fact that we’ve never hung out in a quiet place, always at a bar, and that we really should get to know each other. So I agreed and he suggested I go to lunch with him sometime which I scoffed at (don’t know why at the time…).  He also mentioned how I never call him or text him to hang out so I should make more of an effort, which I threw right back at him.   He then proceeded to invite me to everything he was doing that weekend and I agreed to one thing.  And then I made out with him for pretty much the rest of the night.  This was the first time I had done ANYTHING with him whatsoever – we had never, ever been that way with one another.  And that’s how things got started.

-Rating:

*Physical Aesthetics: 6

*Appearance: 6

*Personality: 10

*Manners: 9

*Intelligence: 10

*Confidence: 8

*Overall Rating: 8

The “Date”: So as I prefaced before, we haven’t gone on an actual date that meets the criteria of my blog.  But for the past 2 months we have been talking, hanging out, and hooking up, so I’m counting it.

That first weekend that he pretty much invited me to hang out with him all weekend, I opted to hang out with him only one day.  I was supposed to go to a party with him at his friend’s but instead went to another party, which is where I met “Turtle” actually.  But the day after, he had reserved a table at a bar/restaurant to watch football so I told him I would meet him for that.  When I got there it was kind of awkward because the only seat available was next to someone I didn’t know, but I quickly made new friends.  I would talk to “Future Hubby” periodically and he would stare at me from across the way to make sure I was okay every once in awhile.  After all the games were finished, I ended up staying with “Future Hubby” and his roomie (also one of my friends from college who I actually would make out with back in the day haha) and watched them play flag football.  They asked me to play with them, but I didn’t have the appropriate attire nor am I good with catching footballs from long distances (I’m working on it) so I opted to just watch.  It was me and a bunch of boys the entire day.  All the while, I am texting “Eccentric Cheeseball” trying to figure out when our date was going to happen.  Maybe I’m just weird, but I thought things were kind of awkward between “Future Hubby” and I at some points that day, but quickly got over them.

So after that one time hanging out, we continued to see each other periodically.  I won’t bore you with every single detail, so I’ll condense it all into generalizations.  We’d hang out (at a bar…ya we regressed back to that), make out, then go back to his place, hook up, and I’d either leave or spend the night.  I actually got the approval of some of our friends who I decided to tell about our little situation.  Every single one of them (even the one guy who didn’t approve because he said, “You could do better than him.”  So sweet.  =) ) mentioned that he’s a good guy and that they’re happy for us if we become something.  One friend mentioned that he saw it coming and that he thought we’d be great together.

It’s all very strange because 1.) I’ve never really gone for a friend before and 2.) I never thought anything would ever happen between us.  The whole marriage thing was totally a joke.  I mean, I’ve done stuff with his friends and he’s done stuff with a few of mine back in college, so he was the last person I ever thought I would have any sort of relations with.  And it turns out he’s pretty awesome and I question as to why we never got to hanging out back in the day.  We have a lot in common, we totally get each other, and more so than not, he’s a total gentleman.  Every time I spend the night, he totally takes care of me and makes sure I’m comfortable.

But of course, with every lovely story, there’s always a bit of negativity, right??  Well yes, in today’s story, our negative bit comes from the one thing we all have a love/hate relationship with: alcohol.  I used to be a big time partier in college, and unfortunately “Future Hubby” seems to be in that phase still.  Don’t get me wrong, I’ll still party on the weekends and what not.  But I never get out of control and I can always handle my alcohol.  The same cannot be said for “Future Hubby”.  And let’s just say this puts a bit of a strain on things, especially this past week with all the holiday celebrations at hand.  It went from him being super attentive, getting back to me immediately if I had called or texted him, apologizing when he didn’t respond…to partying being more important to him and hearing from him at times that are far too late.  So ya, as of now, I am not too sure where we stand.  Oh, I forgot to mention, in all his drunken stupor last weekend (the one before Christmas), he called me his girlfriend.  While I’m not taking that seriously since he said it drunk, I’m not sure how he feels about that, if he even recalls saying that.  Really, I’m just a bit confused and irritated with the profuse amounts of alcohol he deems more important than anything else.

*Positives: He’s just a great guy in general, smart, funny, makes me feel comfortable, is as much of a nerd as I am (we watched Harry Potter the first time I spent the night), can be a gentleman when he wants, can be super attentive, is from one of my favorite places in the entire world (Windy City), when it comes to work he has a good job/career in front of him, has a huge dick (like seriously, it’s a bit terrifying), and a ton more.  I could go on for awhile.

*Negatives: Honestly, it really all revolves around alcohol.  How he is on it, how he wants to drink all the time, how his weekend life kind of seems to revolve around it.  God, I make him sound like an alcoholic.  He’s not an alcoholic – he’s just a huge partier still, and I know there’s nothing I can do about that.

Second First Date?:  For the time being, I’m going to back off.  I’m not going to contact him.  He can call me at decent hours, SOBER, if he wants.  I’m really irritated with his behavior as of late and I’m not going to subject myself to put up with something like that.  I already did it for three years with “Mr. Big (Past)”.

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So I totally wrote this post on New Years, but was apprehensive to post it then.  Probably because things weren’t going so well.  Anyways, a lot has happened since then that are awesome, so I will write an update on our situation soon!!  🙂