Archive | April 2012

Random: *Versatile Blog Award!*/Thank you!

Wooohooo Go Me!!!

Well heyyyyyy, I was nominated for the Versatile Blog Award by Are You Friggin’ Kidding Me? (thank you lady!!) recently, and I just now figured out how to nominate others.  God, I seriously suck at life sometimes.  According to the rules, I am supposed to nominate 15 people whose blog I enjoy as well.  Unfortunately for me (and also because I’m fairly new to WordPress), I don’t know 15 people to nominate =(.  I don’t want to randomly pick people either, so I will just nominate the blogs that I feel deserve it!  I’m actually really glad that this opportunity came up to nominate other bloggers, because I have been meaning to give a “shout out” to all my fellow bloggers on here that I follow/follow me!  So here are my nominations (in no particular order):

1.) Are You Friggin’ Kidding Me? – Honestly, one of my favorites, if not, most favorite blog that I’ve read on here.  I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that our blogs are similar in the sense that we’re discussing our dating woes and triumphs.  It’s comforting to know I am not the only one struggling with the lifelong (hopefully not) battle of dating!!  It’s truly well written, and if you enjoy my blog, you’ll love hers just as much!  =)

2.) i d l e l o r e  – I actually have the lovely opportunity of knowing this blogger personally, as I had gone to college with him back in the day.  He’s a very articulate and wonderful writer, looking to publish a book in the near future.  I deem him to be a very learned individual, so if you enjoy intellectual reads, you’ll love his blog.

3.) snarkysnatch – Gosh do I love this blog.  This is a blog most definitely NOT for the conservative folks out there – they may faint at the sight of some of the pictures on this blog.  But I love this blog because she takes the explicit thoughts we all have thought or think on a daily basis, and puts it into public view.  She doesn’t hold back one bit, and I love that!  If my blog is to P.C. for you, visit this one!

4.) Laura Susanne Yochelson – I’m a huge fitness buff and I was first drawn to this blog because of her story.  She had developed an eating disorder for many reasons (read her blog!) which she eventually she overcame.  Now she’s big into eating healthy and being fit (again as you will read in her blog) which I love.  I think it’s a very inspiring story, and I love how she turned things around for the better.

5.) The Swenglish Girl – This is another blogger who I know personally as we had gone to high school together.  Her blog is about her journey to live in Sweden with the man she loves and her life living in another country.  It’s totally a fairytale type story.  I honestly do love it and find it so inspiring…makes me want to travel to another country to find a guy!!  =)

Well those are the ones I really do enjoy.  Please do check them out if you love me, because I know you’ll love them as well!!

Now, I am supposed to tell the one who nominated me 7 things about myself.  So, Are You Friggin’ Kidding Me?, here you go:

  • I am a spelling and grammar Nazi.  So much to the point that my co-workers hate me for it.
  • Despite how my blog may appear to some, I am a hopeless romantic and do want to find my “Prince Charming” eventually.
  • I enjoy traveling and would love the opportunity to visit as many countries as I can!
  • I’m very little.  Seriously, super short.  I could fit in a refrigerator.  But I’m not a midget.  Haha.
  • I’m addicted to working out/gym.
  • I hate everything to do with death (dead bodies, morgues, funeral homes, mortuaries, etc.) but really enjoy going to graveyards late at night
  • Besides writing, singing is my other true passion.

Everyone, please check out these other amazing bloggers!!!  And here’s a shout out to everyone who has taken the time to look at my blog since I started writing….

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Date #12: “Magic Hands”

How We Met: I honestly can’t even remember how we met.  How shitty am I….I know it was through mutual friends.  I also know that it was a couple of years ago.  When exactly though…I wish I could tell you, but I’m really at a loss.  Shit.  Either I’m getting old (I am), or our meeting was not memorable.  Anyways, we’ve hung out here and there with our friends, but we’ve never hung out just us before.  Plus it had been awhile since we’ve actually hung out, the last time being just seeing each other in passing.

-Rating:

*Physical Aesthetics: 7

*Appearance: 6

*Personality: 6-7

*Manners: 6

*Intelligence: 9

*Confidence: 7

*Overall Rating: 7

The Date:  This is probably the most casual date I have been on.  I was seriously too tired to even go on a date, but I have been neglecting this blog a bit lately due to a new toy of mine (see here), so I needed to go on this date.  Having this blog, based on my whole reasoning and ideas behind it, is almost like having a second (or in my case, third) job…it can be so stressful sometimes!  Anyways, I decided to call up “Magic Hands” since it has been awhile since we had seen each other.

Initially, it was very awkward.  I’m not sure why really, because we had hung out with each other before (though I guess never in a one-on-one situation).  Conversation was very slow and it almost seemed forced to be hanging out.  Already, not a good sign.  I kept asking him questions about what he had been up to and work and what not, because I had no idea what else to talk about.  He never asked me anything about myself really, which was fine considering how strangely awkward everything was already.  Though after a few beers, the conversation started to flow.  Oddly enough, it was one subject that we didn’t stop talking about once we started: sex.

Oh, sex…the one thing that people can go on and on and on about in conversation.  I must thank the subject of sex for being the reason why the rest of the night was not awkward.  We seriously talked about all things sex…anything you can think of, we probably talked about it.  While this may have been weird in any other situation, for some reason it wasn’t weird for us.  We talked about people we’ve had sex with, how many people, things that happen during sex, “recycling” people, etc.  Seriously…it was non-stop sex talk for about an hour and a half-ish.  We also discussed just dating in general, and things no one ever thinks about, like a person’s last sober first kiss.  In this day and age, it’s hard to think of a time when a person had a first kiss that was entirely sober…or maybe it’s just us and we’re alchys.  But the entire time was smooth conversation and not awkward at all, so I was okay with the conversation.  We DID, however, have a lovely conversation about beer.  He worked for a popular beer company for awhile, so he was quite knowledgeable about beer.  For example, did you know that Guinness has MORE hops than an IPA, even though IPA’s are extremely hoppy and bitter?  I love the science, history, and fun facts about beer (I used to work at a bar that served primarily beer), so it was awesome that he knew tidbits such as the one above about beer.

Another thing I never knew about him was how intelligent he was.  Maybe he had me fooled, but everything that came out of his mouth was actually very intelligent.  I was honestly shocked; I guess I just never expected him to be intelligent.  God that makes me sound like such a stuck up bitch, but I mean…I guess I had just never had a “real” conversation with him in which his intelligence would be so apparent.  I’m not really how to describe what I mean without sounding like an asshole, so I’ll just stop while I’m ahead.  Basically, the guy is smart.

*Positives: Nice guy, a lot smarter than I thought, gives great massages (hence the nickname)

*Negatives: Goes out a lot more than I’d prefer, it seemed as if conversation only got flowing after a couple of drinks

Second Date?: Sure, I think it would be fun!

Random: Tell Me How You REALLY Feel…

I’ve been trying to think of a topic for some time now for a random entry since I’ve been slacking on both dates and just writing random in-between entries.  Though as I was talking to a friend last night (one of the select few men who know about my blog..well one of the few that I knowingly have told about my blog to) and asking for dating advice from a guys perspective, he unknowingly gave me the idea for my next topic.  Woohoo =).  You know who you are, thank you so much!  =)

So here we go.

We can all attest that the female brain and the male brain are two completely different entities in the sense that women and men never view things the same way.  On the rare occasions that they do, there’s always some slight differences.  Many times, these opposing perspectives that we have due to our biological differences is the culprit behind our disagreements, arguments, and full blown screaming matches.  We (speaking as a woman, and I’m sure men do this at times as well) assume that the opposite sex understands what we mean by our actions, insinuations, innuendos, and then proceed to get mad when they don’t or when a situation doesn’t go how we thought it would based on the above listed.  Then they get mad because we’re mad over something they didn’t know was going to make us mad, and at the end of the day, everyone is just pissed and crying.  All because of assumptions.  If we all just said what we really meant instead of beating around the bush (I know this blog is about dating, and thoughts of sex come with dating, but I didn’t mean that in a gross way for all you sick fucks out there), we would all be much happier.  Okay, maybe there would be situations where shit would hit the fan instead of going in our way…but at least there’s no confusion and everything is out on the table, right?

Exactly. Case and point.

 

I’m writing about this topic because I think at some point in our lives (if not currently), we’ve all been in this situation when it comes to dating, relationships, crushes, etc.  We’ve all wanted to tell someone how we really feel , but because we’re chicken shit, we instead do things and say things that relate to what we want to actually say without having to actually say what it is we want to say (wow, that was confusing…:-/).  And this can be confusing to the opposite sex, as they may misinterpret what you actually meant by what you said into something completely different.  Is this their fault?  No.  Is this your fault?  Kind of.  Either way, everything can be blamed on our biological differences and differences in how our minds work.  But because we cannot change an innate behavior or way of thinking, we must try and work around this…by fully explaining ourselves to the best of our ability and being completely truthful in a direct way.  And while this may be scary and difficult, it’s the only way for both sexes to fully understand one another.

I most definitely struggle with this issue myself.  In society, girls are told not to tell guys their feelings and to play games and be coy.  This is supposedly how to keep a guy interested in you and coming back for more.  While I have mastered those things to a T and it has worked to a certain extent, being that way has also fucked me over many times.  In fact, I’m pretty sure the last couple of guys I’ve liked/dated/hooked up with found other girls because I was so aloof when it came to expressing how I truly felt.  I would just ignore “the talk” all-together and through my actions assume they knew how I felt.  It didn’t help that some of my girlfriends gave me the advice to be distant and not show interest (thanks bitches…yes I mean that in a mean way).  Clearly, listening to these dummy girls (sorry, just saying it how it is) fucked me over in the end and inevitably, by listening to stupidity, I fucked myself over.  I’ve also been hurt many times in the past…many would say more than I deserve.  Because of this, I also tend to retreat when the topic of how I really feel comes up.  I guess I just have this mentality that if everything is going right, even if it may not be exactly what I want, why should I fuck it up by talking about feelings or the “next step”?

Another depiction of the variances between the female and male brain.

This year, I have decided to change this about myself.  Not only is this written in my New Years resolutions (which I have actually kept a lot of!), but it’s something that I feel I really need to change.  I’m going to be completely honest with how I feel for guys that come into my life (depending on the situation, of course) and not be scared to tell them how I really feel.  Yes, this will probably backfire a couple of times.  But so what?  Better to know that they don’t feel the same way back than to spend all my time chasing down someone who never felt the same way for me than I did for them, right?

That way I can move onto new prospects and more dates.  =)

Date #11: “Mr. Too Cool”

How We Met: This was actually a blind date/set-up by “Miss Pretty Hair” (thank you!!  =) ).  She’s been wanting me to set me up with one of her friends for awhile now and she finally did!  Apparently “Mr. Too Cool” had heard about my blog, and was willing to be one of my victims dates for it.  As of now, he is the first guy that I have gone on a date with who knows about my blog (and who I know knows about my blog…the others ones may have figured it out somehow).  “Miss Pretty Hair” gave him my number, and gave me his, but we only started talking last night.  We both had the day off so we decided to make it a day date!

-Rating:

*Physical Aesthetics: 6

*Appearance: 7

*Personality: 6

*Manners: 8

*Intelligence: 8-9

*Confidence: 4 & 10 (I’ll explain later)

*Overall Rating: 7

The Date: Because I love “Miss Pretty Hair” and trust her judgment 100%, I knew no matter what happened, this date could not be horrible.  She did warn me that “Mr. Too Cool” was a bit cocky; not in the sense that he tells you he’s the shit, but he has a way about him that one can tell he thinks he’s God’s gift to the Earth, so I was pretty prepped for what to expect with him.  Based on just our text messages, he seemed like a pretty cool guy.  Not too forward, not obnoxious, but just right.  We decided to meet at a restaurant right by my house.

I won’t lie, after “Miss Pretty Hair” told me about him, I looked him up on Facebook just so I could get an idea of who my date would be with.  I was happy to find out that in person he looks exactly how he did on Facebook (since this hasn’t always been my experience).  We sat at the bar and had a drink.  I ate rabbit food while he ate a sandwich…don’t judge, I’m not one of those freaks who don’t eat on dates, I just wasn’t hungry.  Haha.  Anyways, we talked about pretty much everything, from work and hobbies, to the way our minds work and living in Hippieville USA.  Conversation never stopped and it was actually pretty intellectual, which was a nice change from some of my previous dates who didn’t have brains.  After drinks, he suggested watching a movie.  Luckily, we both have an affinity for scary movies so we settled upon “The Cabin in the Woods.”  Can I just say…it is probably one of the WORST horror films I have ever seen in my life.  I wouldn’t even consider it a horror film…more so a cheesy, horror-esque film that is trying so hard to be a horror film, but can’t quite be one.  I literally thought about walking out after the first 10 minutes; it was that bad.  I’m not even sure what the point of the whole movie was.  So ya that pretty much blew ass.  Anyways, after the movie we called it a day and went our separate ways.

While the date WAS a very good date, as we all know, there has to be a downside.  Yes, I am being a Debbie Downer – deal with it.  There’s a reason I picked the nickname I did for this guy…there is just something about him that I can’t exactly pinpoint in which he appears to think he is just the best thing ever.  First off, he talked about himself nonstop.  Don’t get me wrong, I totally asked him questions about himself and I was intrigued by a lot of it.  But he talked about himself so much, that I had no idea what he was talking about at some points.  This is so ironic, because we had talked about how we both think we have ADD and we can’t do one thing for too long because we just get so bored.  Well, this one thing (him talking about himself) bored the shit out of me to the point where I zoned out.  I literally did the “nod and smile” a couple of times.  Secondly, going back to the cockiness, just the way he speaks about himself and just about things in general, you can tell that he thinks extremely highly of himself.  This is not necessarily a bad thing, but when it is depicted in someone’s speech and it is clear to an intuitive person that the person they are talking to doesn’t think their own shit stinks, it can be quite annoying.  In addition to his cocky way of speaking, he also tries to over intellectualize everything, which can be perceived as someone being very intellectual, or from my perspective, comes off as compensating for something.  This is where my rating for confidence comes in (4 & 10), because he comes off as being a very confident person who is sure of everything about himself (10), but it’s so overwhelming that it makes me think there’s a reason for this, be it insecurity or compensation for something (4).  Plus, he kept throwing in irrelevant interjections during the movie until I finally ignored him, which was annoying.

*Positives: He’s a good person to converse with, is pretty intellectual, seems pretty easy going, it was fun just hanging out with him, I didn’t feel any pressure whatsoever

*Negatives: He talks about himself FAR too much, he over intellectualizes every little thing, he reminds me too much of a friend who acts the same way with this cocky I’m-God’s-gift-to-the-world behavior and I can only take so much of my friends, so you can only imagine how I feel with “Mr. Too Cool,” his cocky behavior may be an indication of a subconscious insecurity

Second Date?: Yes, but it would have to be a long time from now.  I can’t be around people who have that “Greater than Thou” attitude about them for too long or too often, so it’d have to be in like…a month.  Or longer.

Date #10: “Booze Talker”

How We Met: It’s actually a sweet little story as to how we met.  I was a freshman in high school and “Booze Talker” was a sophomore.  One day at lunch, he randomly came and sat down at my table and introduced himself to all us ladies at the table.  We’ve been friends since then.  We had choir together and often hung out then, but after high school we lost touch, until just recently when he moved back to the area after graduating college.  I had always thought he was attractive, but I never pursued anything really.  This is technically not our first date by any means (at least I’ve been told it’s not…it’s complicated), but our first since I’ve started this blog.

-Rating:

*Physical Aesthetics: 7

*Appearance: 7-8

*Personality: 6

*Manners: 7

*Intelligence: 5-6

*Confidence: 6-7

*Overall Rating: 7

The Date:  It went well and a lot  better than I thought really.  Like I said previously, I have gone out with “Booze Talker” before I had started this blog, and it’s usually one of the most uncomfortable things ever.  Don’t get me wrong, he’s a nice guy and I do enjoy hanging out with him.  But he usually directs many sexual innuendos towards me and all I can think is, “WTF…”  He’s also very short (he says 5’5″ but I’m pretty sure he really means 5’3″ or shorter), so he most definitely has a Napolean complex.  I recall the last time we hung out I had sarcastically made some comment about his drug use and he got VERY upset.  And it wasn’t just upset about the situation…you could tell it was related to “short man syndrome.”  He kept telling me that he was going to take me out if I didn’t stop and honestly…I just kept going.  I’m a bitch and I thought it was funny to get him all upset.  Finally he calmed down, but after that I most definitely thought something was definitely wrong with him.

So I was most definitely apprehensive that the date would go as it has previously gone in the past with him trying to play the “macho” card due to his complex and spitting out sexual innuendos towards me.  I was happily surprised when he was actually calm and apparently on his best behavior.  We went to my favorite bar/restaurant and just had some drinks and caught up on life.  The sexual innuendos were to a very minimum (I think he only said 2 things, but then we both laughed afterwards) and he didn’t get all Napolean complexy on me.  Thank god.  You know, I never understood why it is that short men can have a Napolean complex but short women (such as myself) usually relish in it.  Weird.  Anyhoo…a big part of why I think he used to act that way towards me is because I think he may have liked me for a bit and was trying to impress me (most definitely didn’t work).  But I think he’s over that because he even asked me if I was dating anyone and told me about his weekend in where he made-out with some random girl.  It’s most definitely a relief to know he does not have any interest in me anymore…I think it really livens up our situation and keeps things from getting awkward.

The one thing he did not stray from, however, is his penchant for talking about partying, drinking, and drug use non-stop.  Seriously…that’s really the only thing he can talk about on a consistent basis.  Now, I know that many dates or just conversations in general with people in their 20’s usually consists of one of those topics every so often.  But “Booze Talker” could talk about this for days.  He told me how this past weekend he had taken some form of THC that was so strong that he was high for days.  I think his story lasted the majority of the night.  If a person didn’t know better, just based on the things he talks about (partying, drinking, and drugs), you’d think all he did with his life was get really fucked up every single day.  It’s really sad and pathetic, and makes me think that is honestly the only thing he knows about.  We even tried talking about musicals and plays, and lo and behold, he found a way to incorporate drinking and drug-use into that!!  He suggested we go see a show at my work but beforehand, get super high and drink.  I’m sorry, but I’m not paying $50 something just to get high and drunk.  So dumb.

Anyways, besides his predicted “booze talking,” the date went very well.  I enjoyed it, he enjoyed it.  It was a good night.

*Positives: He’s a nice guy, we always have a good time together, he’s great company, he’s always down for a good time

*Negatives: He totally has a Napolean complex, all he can talk about is boozing, partying, and drugs, he’s super short

Second Date?: Sure.  But as far as dating him on a consistent basis, that would never happen.  His boozing and partying conversationalist ways are just too much for me.

Random: I’ll call you later….NOT!!

SERIOUSLY!!!

I already have a huge problem with flakey people in general – whether it be flaking out on plans, not remembering we had plans, not calling/texting me when they said they were going to, or any sort of situation where obligations are not kept.  I think it’s a a sign of laziness and irresponsibility, and the only time when I feel flaking out is permissible is when it’s a situation of life and death (a.k.a. something extremely imperative came up forcing one to not be able to kept said plans/obligations) or in the event that both parties are unable/unwilling to keep their plans. Now, I’m not saying I’m not guilty of flaking or not calling/texting someone back every once in awhile, because I most certainly am.  But when I deem the situation to be important to either me or the other person, I will always keep my word.  If someone calls me or texts me, not just to say hi, but because they need something or we made plans to talk, I will always call back or text back, even if it takes me some time to do so (I work a lot, so that usually gets in the way).

So you can only imagine how irritated I get when I am faced with this situation and the other party happens to be either a guy I’m dating, a guy I’m interested in, or a guy who is interested in me.  It’s especially frustrating in this situation due to the fact that I (try to) always put in 100% effort when I am getting to know someone or dating someone, so I expect the same back.  If you’re not going to go through with plans, if you’re not going to call/text me, why even fucking say it in the first place?!  There’s really no point, you’re just wasting your breath.  I think it’s especially ironic when it’s a guy who is interested in me who I am not particularly interested in who doesn’t call or text me back or flakes out on plans.  It’s like, you’re the one who is trying to get ME to like YOU, so shouldn’t you do everything in your power to make this happen?  Because the more I don’t hear from them, the sooner I start forgetting about them.  Plain and simple, it’s easy to forget about someone who isn’t making an effort to make an appearance in my life.  Although the same can be said for a guy I’m dating/interested in, there’s a little leeway in the sense that I will obviously NOT be forgetting about them anytime soon, but it’s still super frustrating when they don’t keep plans, call me, or text me when they say they’re going to.

I think I have dealt with this situation with the majority of the men that have passed through my life, the exception being “Box Office Hipster” who always kept plans (not going to lie, I did love that aspect about him).  I’ve made plans with them a couple days in advance, because let’s face it, I’m a hot, busy girl and my weeks fill up quick.  But then as soon as the day comes to follow through with the plans, they bail.  The funniest part about it is if I were to do the same thing to them, they would get super butt hurt.  But they expect me to just say “Oh okay, whatever.”  Fucking hypocrites.  I’ve even had one guy (who I won’t even nickname due to the fact that I’m pretty sure a bunch of his friends read my blog) pretty much cry over the fact that I won’t sleep with him, yet he never keeps plans with me and never calls/texts me or return my calls/texts.  Seriously?  Grow the fuck up.  It’s a two way street, if you want something, you have to give something in return.  I’ve noticed that while I do have many female friends who do this (you all know who you are, which is why we probably don’t hang out as much as we used to *hint hint*), this…characteristic, if you will, is very much so prevalent in males.

At the moment, I am dealing with this situation with the bouncer I met (mentioned in my Updates entry).  While I’m beginning to think he is purposely playing games (which is both irritating and exciting because 1. I haven’t played games with a guy in forever and I hate not knowing how one feels but 2. It makes him much more intriguing and sexy…I’m the quintessential Gemini and I love a good game), it’s frustrating when he tells me he’ll call me, and then he doesn’t.  Why even tell me you’re going to call me if you’re not going to?!  And here’s the kicker…long story short, last time I saw him we got to talking and he asked me if I’d ever have sex with him.  While taken aback by the question, I’m pretty sure I coyly said, “Maybe.”  So, just saying, but wouldn’t you WANT to be talking to a girl who pretty much just said in so few words that you have a 50/50 chance of sleeping with her (and we all know the answer to “maybe” is usually a yes)?!  And I can tell he is most definitely interested in me, so why not just text me?  So frustrating.

Ha, for real!

Anyways, I guess the point I am trying to make here is if you intend on keeping plans with a person, calling them when you say you’re going to, texting them when you say you’re going to, calling/texting them back, actually REMEMBERING you had plans with a person, then you’re already golden.  =)  For the rest of you fuckheads that take advantage of making promises and breaking them, if you are unsure of being able to keep plans or intend on flaking eventually, DON’T FUCKING SAY YOU’RE GOING TO DO SOMETHING!!!  I’d rather a person not even waste their breath (and my time, for that matter) telling me we’re going to hang out, or that they’re going to call me, and me be excited about this, only to be let down later.  It’s because of you people that society believes it’s okay to live their lives with no expectations in order not to get hurt.  We should ALL have expectations, and people should not fail to deliver.  The end.