Archive | December 2012

In Retrospect….

newyear

As the year ends, so does my goal to go on a date with 50 different guys.  I only made it to 34 (ish, it’s technically 35 if you count my potential “TOWWETB” – I’ll write about him in the new year).  Boo.  I hate when I don’t meet my goals.  But through this journey, I’ve learned a lot of lessons – about dating, relationships, men, and myself in general.  I’ve gotten back into writing with this blog, which was one of my main goals for the entire year.  Writing this blog has made me realize so many things that I either refused to acknowledge in the past or just didn’t know about, and for that I am thankful (maybe this should have been a Thanksgiving post, with me being thankful and all….).

And I think the one thing I am most grateful for is all of you wonderful, lovely, beautiful people who have been following my journey this entire year!!  🙂  Without you, my blog wouldn’t be what it is today.  I honestly never expected my little idea of dating a bunch of guys to turn into what it is now.  You’ve all given me the motivation to keep on writing and keep on dating and staying strong in times where I thought I would just give up.  I am so thankful for you all and I do hope you all continue to follow me in the future (just fyi, I am keeping the blog, but changing it a bit).  I feel I have made so many new friendships through this blog (I think you all know who you are :-)) and I am also very grateful for that!!

The reason my blog started...my inspiration, if you will

The reason my blog started…my inspiration, if you will

So here is a list of the things I learned throughout my journey in dating….

  • Dating is FUCKING exhausting.  It takes lots of planning and preparation, not to mention time.  Lots of time.
  • Online dating and I do not get along.  At all.  It’s awkward, I’m awkward on it, and everything is just awkward.  Granted, I chose a site that was a bit different than the norm.  But I still didn’t like the experience.  To me, it’s too superficial.
  • Before this blog I was extremely picky.  I realize there was a good reason for this…
  • But with that being said, sometimes in giving a chance to a guy that I would never usually give a chance to was eye opening and made me think twice about/before rejecting a guy. (“Boss Man”)
  • It’s silly to put all your eggs in one basket if things aren’t 100% clear.
  • My intuition with men is almost always right
  • Patience.  It’s something I personally don’t have, but something I’m going to need to make something work.  Kind of goes hand in hand with that first thing I mentioned.
  • Guys are just as nervous/awkward as girls about dating.  Sometimes even more.
  • Guys have just as much of a problem and questions about dating as girls do.
  • I send mixed signals…not on purpose, but because I get scared of being hurt.
  • There’s a possibility that I am just way too busy to be in a relationship (as pointed out to me by “Ninja Monkey”)
  • Being set up on a date with someone is probably one of the worst possible ways to  meet someone.
  • Sometimes you’ve got to take a risk and make yourself vulnerable in order to find someone.
  • Just because someone has a girlfriend/boyfriend, doesn’t mean they’re completely monogamous or off limits.  Stay away from these types of people.  They are bad news. (a.k.a. “Mr. Big (Present)”)
  • I can fully attest that I am a now a firm believer of that quote saying that sometimes the right person is in front of you the entire time, but you don’t realize it till later.  5 years later, in my case (fingers crossed).  I’ll write more about this one later…:-)
So true.  It's something I really need to live by.

So true. It’s something I really need to live by.

So I’m probably going to go on a small hiatus from writing in the New Year.  I need to figure out exactly what I’m going to do with my blog, catch up on everyone else’s blog (sorry for the neglect!), and figure things out in my life outside of dating that need to be settled.  But don’t worry, I can’t stay away for too long – there are too many men out there for me to write about still!!  😉

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Random: My Sex Bucket List (and updates) (and a question for you!)

Sorry I’ve been  MIA lately.  I haven’t been going on dates, so don’t think you’re missing out on anything that I haven’t written about.  I’m not sure really what I’ve been doing….I guess I’ve been working.  And catching up with friends.  And just living in general.  Ya know.  I’m a pretty boring person.  I haven’t really been in the  mood to go on dates either.  I’ve gotten a bunch of “Winks” on What’s Your Price  lately, but I’ve just been ignoring them.  I’m really over it.  In fact, I think I’m going to delete my profile from there soon.  Like right now, actually.

truetruetrue

Yep. Pretty much the majority of the guys I’ve spent any extended period of time with.

Anyways, as we all know, my goal this year was to go on a date with 50 different guys.  Unfortunately, the year ends in about 9 days and I’ve only gotten to 34 (35 will most likely happen with my potential “TOWWETB” but more on that later).  I mean, there’s still a chance that 16 different guys will want to go on a date with me in the next few days, but the chances are highly unlikely.  Either way, I have no intentions of doing my final write up for my blog until the end of the year, so as of now, it’s still on!!

I think part of the reason why I am not very interested in going on anymore dates is because of my potential “TOWWETB”.  He’s still only a potential because we haven’t gotten to that point of figuring out exactly what it is we are or want to be and all that emotional, scary, I-might-run-away-if-we-have-that-talk stuff.  Yes, I realize I am fucked up when it comes to that stuff in more ways than one.  As much as I would love to tell you all about him, 1.) We haven’t gone on an official date that meets the criteria of this blog yet so I feel I shouldn’t write about him just yet and 2.) I don’t want to jinx anything.  I will say that things with him definitely feel different than with all the other guys I’ve gone on dates with this year, and that different feeling is a good one.  So maybe this one might just work out.  🙂

As far as the question for you all, again as I’ve said previously, the end of the year is approaching.  The whole idea behind my blog was to go on 50 dates with 50 different guys this year and write about them.  But what to do after the year is over??  Miss Jane Champagne had a great suggestion to amend the 50 dates part and just continue to write about my dating life and my dates in general, which I think is probably what I’m going to end up doing.  I was also thinking about just starting a new blog in conjunction with this one, still about dating but just about my dating life in general instead of a specific goal.  And then I had the idea of sticking with the 50 dates idea, but this time making it 50 guys from each and every state here in the U.S….so like one guy from each state.  So I want to hear from you all…what would you like to see me do??  I could make this more of a general dating blog and just write about my dates and about my dating life in general, guys from my past, silly things I think we all do in dating, etc.  Or I could stick with the 50 and do it again next year if I still haven’t found someone.  Please let me know, I appreciate any and all feedback!!

Okay and now for the exciting part of this post…my Sex Bucket List.  🙂

Let's talk about sex babbbyyyy

This is honestly something I’ve been thinking about for awhile, and unfortunately most of the men I am ever with are not as adventurous as me so I haven’t been able to live out this list.  I guess I’m somewhat of an exhibitionist, for lack of a better word, when it comes to this because I totally get excitement from the idea of having a sexual rendezvous in not-so-normal, semi-public places.  The only exciting places I’ve ever done anything are on a golf course near the 18th hole and in the back of a bar where they store kegs.  So here is my list of places I would like to get it on:

*Beach…not really out of the norm, but I haven’t done it yet, so I count it.

*Tennis Court

*Church Confessional…I think I’m going to hell for even saying this one.

*The Stacks at Norlin

*At the Gym…specifically my gym

*In a Limo

*In an Airplane

*In a Dressing Room (preferably at Victoria’s Secret)

*On Stage…not with everyone watching or anything, just on a stage at a theater of sorts

*Somewhere extremely cold…like one of those ice bars or in a walk in freezer

*In a BDSM club…just once – just to say I have done it

Hopefully one day, I find someone just as adventurous as myself.  In the meantime, I’ll just keep looking!  😉

Random: My Man Bucket List

This was a topic given to me by my friend Michelle (she doesn’t have a blog that I know about, otherwise I’d tag her in it.  She’s also already commented on here with her first name, otherwise I’d give her a nickname).  She asked me if I had a list of men I’d like to date just for fun, like a firefighter or an athlete.  And basically if there are any guys that I would like to date just for the sake of dating without actually ending up with them.

Honestly, I thought this idea was genius and just so much fun!!  So of course I have to write about it!  I’ve gotta say, I’ve dated a lot of types of guys that I just wanted to date for fun already.  But I’ve definitely contemplated in the past the types of men I would like to date for fun, so here is a compilation of what I’ve come up with.  And I will try to make it realistic (i.e. I’m not going t put Brad Pitt or something):

  • The Alphabetical Hook-Up List: I actually saw this book title and thought it was interesting.  I’m not going to lie, I haven’t read the book.  But I really liked the concept of what they were getting at.  I’m not sure exactly what the book entails as a “hook-up,” but I’ve made my version a little bit more chaste.  My goal in life before I get married (if that ever happens…and frankly at the rate things are going, its not going to happen) is to kiss at least one guy whose name begins with each letter of the alphabet.  I’m doing pretty well so far, but I am missing the following letters: F, H, O, Q, U, V, X and Y.  So if you’re a male out there who lives here and your name begins with one of those letters, please contact me and come makeout with me.  It would just make my day.
A, B, C, D, E, F, G...

A, B, C, D, E, F, G…

  • A Drummer: As I’ve listed before, I LOVE musicians.  I am SO drawn to them in every way possible.  I’ve honestly dated some musicians purely on the fact that they were musicians – nothing else.  I’ve gone for singers, pianists, guitarists, bassists….but I’ve never had any relations with a drummer.  I think drumming is so sexy and I myself would love to get basic drumming lessons, so I think I could kill two birds with one stone here.  Again, if you’re a drummer out there, please contact me so we can get together!
  • A Really Pretty Guy: You all know what I mean.  A guy who is so attractive, that both men and women come from afar just to stare at him and blush when they see him.  Think a Christian Grey type character (oh ya, I went there…but my idea for this was not inspired by the book).  A guy that’s 100% hotter than me in every such way and that people would look at us and be like, “Oh, who is that troll dating that God?”  I would LOVE to date a guy like that one day, just to know what it feels like to date someone that pretty.  Would I be jealous?  Would I become more vain and pay more attention to my own looks? I most definitely know plenty of really pretty gentleman, but unfortunately (or maybe not so unfortunate) they’re married.  Although I know they would cheat in a heartbeat, I’m not looking to be a home-wrecker so I’ll have to just pass on them and find myself a pretty one.
Yep, I want someone this vain.

Yep, I want someone this vain.

  • A Guy Completely Opposite of Myself: So basically a super introverted, anti-social, and quiet person who enjoys being a homebody more so than doing anything outside of the house.  Maybe someone with no hobbies except for computer games and anime.  Yeah, I would like to date a guy like that sometime.  Just to pick his brain.  And maybe try and boost his ego.  This would definitely be a fixer upper for me, so I’m not too sure if that would be a good thing or not.
  • An Indian Guy: Really, I just love Indian food and I would want him (or his mother) to make me some.  And maybe someone dance to some authentic Bollywood music with.  But I guess I have “Indian Warrior” in my life, and besides the fact that she’s a girl, she still has the other qualities I want in an Indian.  So maybe I’ll just stick with her.
  • Bruno Mars: Seriously, this is not unrealistic.  He sings, I sing.  He’s half my people.  He’s short, I’m short.  He does cocaine, I would let him do cocaine off my body.  He’s funny, I love funny men.  He dances, I dance.  We’re like a match made in heaven…he’s probably “Locked Out of Heaven” because he hasn’t met me yet.  We DID make eye contact at his concert, especially when he sang his songs to me and only me.  But yes, anyways, I want him.  I have family moving to Hawaii, so I’m hoping they run into his family and then we can all be introduced.  Then he’d ask me, “Is it the look in your eyes, or is it this dancing juice?  Who cares baby, I think I want to marry you.”  The end.
Ohhh yeahhhhh

Ohhh yeahhhhh

Well, that’s my list.  I’m sure I could think of others, but that’s pretty much my main Man Bucket List.

Date #34: “Sage”

How We Met: We work(ed) indirectly together at the theatre I cocktail/bartend/sit around, hang out, and do nothing at.  While I pretty much do nothing, he handles all the lighting and other technical stuff within the theatre.  Basically, without him, the show doesn’t run.  I honestly can’t even remember how long we’ve known each other at this point…definitely more than a year.  Anyways, if I remember this all correctly, he overheard me talking about my blog to someone that we work with.  He then offered to take me on a date for my blog.  So yes, he knows this baby exists (unlike the majority of the  men I’ve gone on dates with).  We had been talking about it for several months, but things just kept coming up for both of us so we never got the chance to go on our date.  Until now.

-Rating:

*Physical Aesthetics: 7

*Appearance: 8

*Personality: 10

*Manners: 10

*Intelligence: 10

*Confidence: 8

*Overall Rating: 10

The Date: So as I stated previously, this date was a long time coming.  And as one can tell by the high ratings, this date was fucking awesome.  🙂  Not that I had any doubts.  Anyways, I told him to surprise me as far as what we were going to do for the night.  All my dates so far have been pretty unoriginal, usually ending up at a restaurant/bar and having a couple of drinks.  Being the Gemini that I am, I’m all about spontaneity and variety.  So when he told me to bring a jacket, I was already excited – it most definitely sounded like something way different from the rest of my dates.  The sweetheart that he is, he drove all the way to my house (which is about 11-12 miles away from where we were going) to come pick me up.  And he opened my door getting in the car.  Seriously?  What a gentleman.

Because I am curious and I didn’t want to wait for the surprise, I asked him where we were going the minute we got in the car.  It turned out he was taking me to the one place I have been wanting to go for the past 2 years but haven’t had the chance to (and no one has offered to take me…though I guess I could have gone by myself…): the Denver Botanic Gardens.  I know this doesn’t seem exciting to anyone else except me, but I was so happy!!  The weird thing was, I don’t recall ever telling him I wanted to go here, so it’s like he read my mind.  Haha.  Anyways, we get there, and it’s just BEAUTIFUL!!  Since it’s (supposed to be) winter, instead of flowers and green trees, there were beautiful lights everywhere for what they call Blossoms of Light.  Honestly, it was just magical.  I felt like a little kid staring at all the pretty lights.  On top of that, some sweet older gentleman handed me what looked like 3D glasses as we walked in, and it made all the lights look like snowflakes!!  Seriously, just super enchanting.  While we were walking around looking at the beautiful view, “Sage” and I talked about virtually everything, from work to family life, to what we want to do next in our lives.  I feel like most of my dates have been very surface level conversations, if you will, so it was definitely refreshing to go on a date with someone who actually had something of pertinence to talk about.  I liked how learned he was in a lot of different things, and maybe that’s just something that comes with age (I’m pretty sure he’s more than 5 years older than me, though not 100% positive), but it was just lovely.

After the Botanic Gardens, he took me to dinner at an Indian restaurant nearby.  On our way down to the Botanic Gardens, we had discussed possibilities in what to eat that night.  All the places he suggested sounded so delicious and were different than what my average date would usually take me to.  We got to the restaurant and we got to sit at a table where we sit without shoes on pillows (not too sure what that is called).  It was just lovely.  Again, we started talking about everything and anything, but I think this is when we more so focused on relationships.  We talked about people we had previously hooked up with, old relationships, and just interactions with the opposite sex in general.  In talking to him about this, I made the realization that maybe a lot of the things that I am doing and the way I come off to men is not exactly what I’m wanting (i.e. I may seem like I’m not serious about finding someone or wanting to find someone, but deep down I really do).  It most definitely made me think about the things I say to men, and how I convey my  real feelings towards them (if I even do that, let’s be honest, I am chicken shit when it comes to really liking men).  When our bill came, although I offered to pay, he wouldn’t let me.  🙂  He said it was a date and that he would take care of it all.  Ladies, this is what a true gentleman looks like!!!  Afterwards, he took me back home and we said goodnight.

Honestly, as one can attest by everything written above, this was one of the best dates I have been on since writing this blog.  Not sure if it’s because I knew him before or if because he knew about my blog (which is why I don’t usually go on dates with people who know about the blog…I feel that it might change how they behave on the date), but I have this feeling that he’s just a sincerely good guy who knows how to treat a woman correctly.  It doesn’t get better than that.  🙂

*Positives: A TRUE GENTLEMAN, good conversation, had a lot of intelligent things to say, took me to really awesome places, very kind and sincere, has so much wisdom (hence the nickname I gave him), I could talk to him about anything without feeling judged, made sure I was having a good time the entire time, he’s mature

*Negatives: We’re not in the same scene (I can be a bit of a party girl and he’s completely out of that scene), there were times I felt that awkward moments of silence, but that quickly changed

Second Date?: Duh.  Haha.  I’m not sure if it will be before the end of this blog, but I’m sure we’ll figure something out!

Date #33: The Return of “Mr. Big (Present)”

Note: This wasn’t actually a date, but based on our situation and his current relationship status, this is about as close to a date as we’re going to get.

How We Met: Enlighten yourselves if you haven’t already before, “Mr. Big (Present)”

-Rating:

*Physical Aesthetics: 7, but when he takes his clothes off – 9

*Appearance: 7

*Personality: 10

*Manners: 1 & 10 (I’ll explain later)

*Intelligence: 10

*Confidence: 10

*Overall Rating: 9

The “Date”: A little over a week ago, we had made a bet over the 49ers vs. Bears game.  I LOVE games and bets where there’s something to gain or lose, so I just had to make a bet on this game.  I really should have made the bet with my potential “TOWWETB” since he’s from the Windy City and loooooves the Bears, but I’m awkward, and I get scared to talk to someone too much when I like them…like I get scared that I’m bothering them…which I guess shows just how much I really do like him.  And yes, there will be a date soon with him, I’m just getting over my fears.  Anyways, so instead I made a bet with “Mr. Big (Present)”.  He said he’s not really into American football (he plays soccer) except for the Broncos, but that he would make the bet with me anyway.  I let him set the wager and of course, he picked a blowjob as the wager (mind you, the fucker has a girlfriend).  I agreed to it and that was that.  I knew I was going to win  because I just have that much faith in my Niners.  No matter where in this world I move to, I will always be true to my hometown.  🙂

So as I predicted, I won the bet.  In fact, if anyone watched that game, it was pretty sad on the Bears part.  They didn’t even score a point until after halftime.  Anyways, I get a text from “Mr. Big (Present)” about how upset he is that he lost our bet and asking me when I’d like that blow job.  This continued into multiple text messages and Facebook chats over the next week and a half about  blowjobs.  Seriously, it was all we talked about.  How to give one, examples of how to give one (I sent him a visual of a transvestite getting a blowjob from some guy), whether he’d be good at them or not.  Since I am indeed female with no penis, I wasn’t sure exactly how this was going to go down.  I did, however, suggest him suck on my toes.  By the way, on yet another sidenote, we have a very strange relationship in that we can talk to each other about anything and say weird things to one another without the other freaking out or thinking anything of it.  Talking about blowjobs is almost second nature to us.  So yes, this blowjob talk continued and continued.

Finally, when I was ready to collect my blowjob, I contacted him.  And here’s where things get shady…on his part.  We were talking through Facebook chat, and he kept pushing our time back to meet up.  I had told him I’d be there after I was done watching one of my favorite shows in the world, and he then proceeded to ask me how late I was going to be up for.  I questioned this, and this was the response I got: he was hanging out with his girlfriend at the moment and didn’t know how long that would last.  He even tried canceling at one point, asking me if I would be mad if we didn’t get together that day.  Since he’s screwed me over in the past, I decided to fuck with him.  I started taunting him, saying that I had a surprise for him in this whole blowjob ordeal and that he wouldn’t get the surprise if he didn’t meet up with me when I wanted to meet up.  And that the surprise was amazing.  Of course, this piqued his interest and he badgered me non-stop, asking me what this surprise was.  It got to the point where he started compromising with me on what he’d get if he met up with me, perhaps maybe a return blowjob.  Normally, I would tell him that that’s out of the question, especially because he has a girlfriend and I don’t condone cheating.  But, since I was persistent about meeting up with him that night, I agreed to it.  So he went from almost completely backing out of meeting up with me to 100% meeting up with me after I agreed to a blowjob.  God, he’s so fucking easy.  He made mention how I am trouble and how I would get him in trouble.  😉  Actually, here’s a snippet of our conversation, in discussing whether or not we were going to meet up:

“Mr. Big (Present)”: Ok….if I can right now then you have to fork out a bj too then

Moi: Sure

“Mr. Big (Present)”: Are you serious?

Moi: Yep

“Mr. Big (Present)”: Ahhhhhhhh!! You are trouble…

Moi: 😉

“Mr. Big (Present)”: You’d get me in trouble!

Moi: Well it’s your call, be a man, suck it up, and owe up to the bet, or wimp out

Hurry and make a decision, before I get bored with this conversation and decide to take back what I just said

I’m sure you all know what he decided on.  🙂  I don’t like the idea of not having an escape plan for myself, so I decided to pick him up at his place.  On my way there (I live like 10 minutes from him…) I get a “Where are you?” text.  Seriously, so impatient.  When I finally get there, he’s already outside.  We start to leave and I ask him where the closest restaurant bar/bar is and he’s confused.  In pajamas, he was under the impression that we were just going to go to some dark alley way and get it on or something.  So I made him go get his ID which he didn’t think he would need, and we leave for a bar.  On the way, we make small talk, discussing the things happening in our lives.  Pretty boring on both ends.  He honestly didn’t sound like he was very happy with what he’s doing with his life at the moment.  We talked about how we were both pretty sick of our jobs and I told him how I was wanting to find something new soon.  As always, he was very encouraging, telling me I could easily find something else because I’m smart.  Such a sweetheart.  Seriously, if I need an ego boost, he’s a good one to go to.

We get to the bar which isn’t exactly a dive bar, but it’s nowhere even in the vicinity of a posh lounge either.  There was a few people there just having a couple of drinks.  We went to the bar and I order him a blowjob shot.  I was initially going to make him take it from between my legs, but alas, the bartender had no whip cream.  So no blowjob shot.  Boo.  The entire time, he seemed super impatient and just a bit uncomfortable.  I ended up making him take a cement mixer.  The bartender was really sweet and ended up giving us the shot for free since it’s a trick shot, usually given to people on their 21st birthdays.  We immediately left after the shot, even though I offered to get “Mr. Big (Present)” a beer if he wanted.

On our way to his house, I think he finally put two and two together.  I was clearly not going to give him a blowjob and had only said I was so that he would do what I wanted and meet up that night.  He had mentioned earlier in our conversation the fact that he had a girlfriend (even though it’s clearly did not stop him from hanging out with me…hence why I marked his manners as both really low and high) to which my response was that I don’t condone cheating; something I’ve told him over and over again.  We get to his house, and he’s still hopeful and tells me, “You know you want to give me a blowjob.”  I then tell him about my potential “TOWWETB” and just how much I really like this guy.  This doesn’t deter him, and he asks if he just pulls his penis out a bit, then maybe I’ll want to give him a blowjob.  I still tell him no and begin to blow in his face, saying, “There’s your blowjob.”  🙂  He sat there stunned for a bit, telling me I had lied to him.  I like to call it manipulation, but whatever.  Being the gentleman he is though, he didn’t freak out at me (like I think some guys would).  He just simply laughed, told me if I ever wanted to hang out and grab drinks sometime to call him, and left.

Honestly, I’m pretty proud of myself for this one.  I killed two birds with one stone…I’ve kept my options open by talking to him still and not putting all my eggs in one basket for my potential “TOWWETB” and I fucked with his sex drive – he thought he was definitely going to get some and instead all he got was a disgusting shot and a blow in the face (literally).  While yes, it’s pretty shitty of me to try to draw him away from his girlfriend, it’s pretty shitty of him to comply with my requests.  He could have easily said, “No, I have a girlfriend.”  Instead all I had to say was I’d give him a blowjob, and he jumped at the occasion.  This whole incident honestly made me lose a lot of respect for him and made me realize how much I DON’T want him anymore.  I’m so glad that he had inadvertently protected me from getting truly hurt by telling me he sucks at relationships from the get go.

*Positives: He’s a great guy, very smart, very athletic, amazing body, easy to talk to (I can talk to him about anything without feeling I’m being judged), has a lot going for him, fun to hang out with, and at one point, truly believed that he embodied everything I wanted in a guy.

*Negatives: He’s a cheater, while he IS nice, he clearly doesn’t know what it means to have a girlfriend, he’s easily persuaded by other things (a.k.a. other girls offering sexual favors to him), he wants what he can’t have and always will, in some ways is disrespectful towards women (in the way that he treats his girlfriends), clearly has some relationship/intimacy issue that he needs to work on.  Basically, all his negative qualities lie in the relationship aspect.

Second Date?: No.  I’m most definitely over “Mr. Big (Present)”.  As lovely of a person as I think he is in every such way, I’ve most definitely lost a lot of respect for him after this whole ordeal.  I’m just glad I’m not the girl who he’s constantly fucking over.  I would be willing to hang out with him as JUST a friend, with hopefully no sexual innuendos or anything leading to sex talk.  Maybe one day we can be actual friends, but I’m pretty sure after all this, he won’t be talking to me for awhile.  Haha.