Archive | March 2013

“Stoner”

I apologize for being M.I.A. for an extremely long time.  A lot of changes have been happening in my life – some for good, some for bad.  I will write an update here soon before the end of the  month.  But until then, please enjoy a write-up on a date I went on a few weeks ago.

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How We Met: We had actually “met” back in January at a shitty bar in the ‘burbs (same place I met “Humdrum”) where he was a bouncer at.  I was there for my friend’s birthday and “Stoner” kept smiling at me and checking me out.  As I was leaving, he mentioned that he really liked my straight hair.  And that was that.  A couple of weeks later, I ended up going back to this awful bar since “Indian Warrior” wanted to go out somewhere close to our houses.  That same bouncer was there and I guess he had remembered me from last time.  We talked a little bit more this time.  “Indian Warrior” noticed that he was staring and smiling at me every time I walked by, so she suggested that I keep talking to him.  At the end of the night as we were leaving, he told me that he hoped to see me again.  Being drunk and somewhat upset about how “Future Hubby” had been acting towards me, I was hoping that this guy would ask me for my number, but he didn’t.  So “Indian Warrior” (also drunk) took it upon herself to make it happen.  Such good friends I have, huh?  Anyways, she made it happen and we exchanged numbers.

-Rating:

*Physical Aesthetics: 7 (in a dark bar), but 5 (in a lighted area)

*Appearance: 5

*Personality: 4

*Manners: 7was

*Intelligence: 4

*Confidence: 6

*Overall Rating: 4-5

The Date: So I’m not going to lie, I was actually a bit excited for the date initially.  To the best of my memory, “Stoner” was relatively attractive and seemed fairly interested in getting to know one another.  Granted, he didn’t blow up my phone like most guys do, but I was actually okay with that.  Since we’re both so busy, it took us a bit of time to find a night to actually hang out.  I’m used to guys going after me, so it was a bit strange when he basically prompted me to contact him about the date on the day of, even though he ended up contacting me first anyways.

Earlier in the day, I told him to think of things for us to do.  I didn’t want to do the typical date stuff, because that’s just boring.  So when he called me, he suggested movies (boring), coffee (kinda boring, but better), or go-karting.  Um duh, which one do you think I picked?!  😉  So he offered to pick me up, and even walked up to my door instead of just calling me or texting me to tell me he was outside.  He also opened my door for me to get into the car.  I thought it was all super sweet.  And that’s about the only thing that I thought was sweet.

The minute we get in the car, he’s on his cell phone.  Granted, he was using GPS, but he was seriously GLUED to the thing.  I honestly don’t think he even paid attention to the first few things I said.  He was like in his own little world.  It was like that for about the first ten minutes in the car.  Finally he started talking to me and we made small talk.  I learned right off the bat that this guy was a complete joke.  First off, he definitely looked better in the dark lights of the bar I met him at.  Not attractive AT ALL in the light.  I mean, he wasn’t the ugliest thing out there, but definitely not a looker by any means.  He looked like straight up white trash (sorry if that offends anyone, I just don’t know how else to describe him).  He’s lived in various places, including Hawaii, South Dakota, Oregon, and California.  He graduated high school in South Dakota and from there went straight into construction.  I thought he was about my age, if not a little older or younger, but it turns out he’s actually 7 years older than me.  I think this really surprised me because 1.) He doesn’t look it at all and 2.) he just seemed a lot younger in both personality and maturity.  Based off just our conversations in the car, I could already tell I wasn’t going to like this guy.  Then he had to top it off with the fact that he’s a complete stoner.  Now, I don’t mind occasional drug use here and there.  It’s not personally my thing, but if it’s someone else’s, all the power to them.  But a complete stoner?  Absolutely not.  It most definitely put everything into perspective though (i.e. why he wasn’t listening to anything I was saying, why he would have delayed responses, etc.).

We finally get to the go-kart place and I’m super excited.  Then we find out it’s an hour wait.  Personally, I wouldn’t have minded waiting, but apparently he didn’t want to wait.  So we drove around trying to find something to do.  I suggested coffee so we found a Starbucks.  We got there right as they were closing so we grabbed some drinks and left.  We drove around for a bit and I was ready to just ask him to take me home, especially when I saw that he was taking me to the vicinity of his apartment.  He mentioned going to a bar around the area so I suggested we go there for a drink.  Thank god he agreed with the plan, since at this point I was already scared he was going to drug me or something.

At the bar, we order some drinks.  I had a wine, and just on a side note, it was the shittiest wine I’ve had in awhile.  So that just made my mood even worse.  Anyways, at this point we were barely talking, just saying things here and there with a lot of awkward moments of silence.  We talked a bit more here, and we have absolutely NOTHING in common.  I mean, the guy doesn’t even like sports.  I was so excited that the Nuggets game was on the t.v., and he could care less.  While I watched, he just kept playing on his phone.  I tried being nice, but my I’m-fucking-bored-and-clearly-not-interested persona started coming out.  At one point, after getting done in the restroom, he tried hugging me and kissing my cheek and I literally pushed him away, completely disgusted.  I guess this is just tangible proof that guys really don’t get hints whatsoever.  I wonder if anyone at the bar saw this awkward moment.  After this, shit got even more awkward than they already were.  He had one more drink while I just sat there sipping some water.  I really had to pee, but I was so scared he was going to slip me a roofie or something that I just held it in.  He had this really annoying stoner laugh that was just super obnoxious and I wanted to cringe every time he laughed.

Finally, after his third beer we left.  I was actually really apprehensive to have him drive me home since he mentioned he doesn’t really drink and then proceeded to drink 3 beers within less than an hour.  In the car, he apologized for making me uncomfortable by kissing me, to which I responded that it was okay (I lied).  At the intersection right before the area I live in, he most definitely ran a red arrow turning left, which scared the fuck out of me.  Luckily, there were no other cars in sight.  Either this guy was super drunk or super high…or maybe a bit of both.  When dropping me off, he got out of his car, opened my door for me, and walked me all the way to my door, stating that he was a good guy (something he had previously mentioned….).  He leaned in for a hug, but luckily not a kiss.  Phew.

I can honestly say, worst date.  Ever.

*Positives: He has some manners, he paid for everything

*Negatives: He didn’t appear to be listening to anything I had to say most of the time, he has a child and baby mama drama, he didn’t go to college, he’s not the brightest crayon in the box, he is a complete stoner (seriously got excited talking about weed), he had to mention he was a good guy on more than one occasion, is not attractive at all, we had nothing in common, nothing to really talk about.  It was all negatives, really.

Second Date?: He alluded to it on a couple of occasions, saying I was the first girl that he met at the bar that he actually went on a date with and that actually kept true to her word.  But if he texts me again, I’m most certainly telling him I’m not interested.

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