When we were all younger, innocent and naive to the world, we would write notes that said this to the ones we liked on 3-hole punched lined paper (does that still exist??), in hopes that they would check the box marked “yes.” God, if only life and relationships were really THAT easy…
So this has to be my biggest downfall in dating/relationships, and I’m hoping I am not the only one out there with this issue. But I HAVE A PROBLEM TELLING GUYS I LIKE THEM. Seriously. It’s an issue.
Once upon a time, I used to be really good at it. After a couple of weeks or so, I would tell a guy just how I felt about him. Now, I’m not saying I got the response I wanted all the time, but I was at least able to do it. Now, having been hurt so many times, I’m so scared of ruining whatever is going on with a guy, that I’m too scared to straight up tell a guy I like him and I just continue with whatever is going on at the moment. Which is both great and horrible at the same time.
Reasons Why It’s Great:
-There’s usually no drama
-No one is ever angry at the other for misunderstandings
-Going with the flow usually makes things easier and there’s no pressure or expectations
-The “awkward conversation” (as I like to call it) never has to happen
-I never get rejected
Reasons Why It’s Horrible:
-Guys never realize I actually like them (in my head, guys should just assume I like them if I act a certain way around them…stupid I know)
-I end up hurting myself by overthinking things and making things up in my head
-If I talk (a.k.a. flirt) with another guy, the guy I like automatically thinks I’m a whore or that I’m not serious about him which then leads to…
-Him finding a girlfriend. Who isn’t me.
-Some things go on longer than they ever should
-I never know where I stand with a guy or what I can/can’t/should/shouldn’t do, as far as being able to date other men at the same time or not
-Someone usually gets hurt…and that someone is usually me.
As one can see, clearly the horrible reasons outweigh the great reasons.
So what I guess I’m trying to get at with this post is that I need a few pointers on growing some balls and telling a guy I like him. Ladies, what are some of your tips on telling guys you like them?? Gentleman, how would you like a woman to tell you she likes you? And don’t answer with, “Just straight up tell him,” because that doesn’t help the situation. Also, hints and insinuations isn’t the answer here either, considering I do that constantly and still get nowhere.
Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!!
I like you – A LOT!!
Thanks George haha. Mel is interviewing some new ladykins for the Gally on Monday, you can sexually harass them in my absence. 😉
I used to never tell a guy I liked him. I always kept it to myself and usually ended up slightly heart broken when they would start dating somebody else. There have been so many moments when I end up telling somebody YEARS down the line and he’ll end up saying “what! I had a crush on you too, you should have told me!” So frustrating. Now as I’m approaching my 30’s…I’ve realized I don’t have time to waste wondering whether or not a guy likes me. I just tell them. I’ve said it a few different ways. Even if I end up getting rejected, I’d prefer that over wasting my time wondering what’s going to happen.
I haven’t really figured out the “best” way to tell a guy though and I don’t think there is. Every body has their own personality and one way may work better with one person than the other.
Hints FOR SURE don’t work. Guys don’t take hints. They need straight forward and blunt otherwise they’ll never figure it out. That’s why they say “just straight up tell them.” Because that’s what works! haha
Thanks for your comment!!
Honestly, what you’ve described above sounds EXACTLY like me. Haha!!! I’m glad you’ve changed your ways and have started telling guys you like them. You’re right, there probably isn’t a “best” way to tell a guy since everyone is different. But I guess I’d like to ask you what are some ways you’ve told a guy that you like him?? I need all the help I can get!
I down play as MUCH AS POSSIBLE! Because as soon as you make it a big deal, the guy shuts down lol. I’ve said things like “yeah…you’re pretty cool. I enjoy hanging out with you.” or “I kinda dig you” hope that helps!
Okay well I’m glad I asked you before I went and made a fool of myself and just said, “HEY I LIKE YOU!!!!” hahaha. But with that being said, wouldn’t down playing it be the same as giving hints in opposed to just straight out saying it?? Just curious and wanting to play a little of devil’s advocate. But overall, I like your style, and thanks for the tips!!!
Actually you’re totally right…the first one is just giving hints. We don’t wanna do that LOL. I like the “I kinda dig you” comment. It says you like him but you’re keeping it low key haha. I don’t know, I guess we should just say “HEY I LIKE YOU!!!” Oh geez, it’s so confusing haha.
Haha VERY confusing. I’m sticking with my initial statement in that passing notes that say, “Do you like me? Check yes, no, or maybe” should be a permissible way of telling someone you like them!!! 😉
LOL I agree!
THIS. THIS THIS THIS.
This is my life- but you already knew that hahaha
Haha it’s my life too. If I figure out a way to tell a guy in a way that works out positively, I’ll let you know!!
Coming clean and telling someone how you feel is tough for both sides. For me, I like it when a girl is forthcoming about how she feels, but I like girls who are a little more aggressive and know what they want. Some guys on the other hand want to make the first move and are completely turned off by this approach. I think you have to know the person you are dating first. Figure out if he’s the type that likes to take charge or if he is the kind of person that would prefer to meet somewhere in the middle. I agree with Deb though, guys are terrible about picking up on hints! Even as much thought I put into relationships/dating (far more than the average guy) I am guilty of missing signals that became obvious to me when the girl finally said what she was thinking. Good luck!
Thank you for your comment, it’s great hearing a guy’s opinion about this issue!! It’s also nice hearing straight from a guy that you all miss hints that us girls like to put out there, and that while we think we’re telling you we like you, it may not translate that way to you guys!! I think that’s more so positive affirmation that hints really DO NOT work, as much as us ladies (myself very much so included) like to think haha. It’s weird because I’m definitely the aggressive type, just not when it comes to this one issue. If you can think of one particular way for a girl to tell a guy she likes him, I’d love to hear it!!
Don’t hint. If you’re liking a guy and have any inclination whatsoever that he doesn’t know, then tell him. Find a good way to bring it up. Maybe strike up a conversation about whatever and slowly move it that direction.
This advice brought to you by a guy who recently told someone he liked them and was promptly put into the friendzone. :p
Thank you!!! =) I still stand by my word that people can move in and out of the friendzone…don’t give up hope!! 😉
You’re trying to pluck up the courage to tell me that you like me aren’t you Leslie! Usually i’m no good at reading a girl’s thoughts but i think even i can figure it out. I knew no girl could resist me after reading my ground-breaking comedy/political/erotic blog. I like you too lil’ L. but it’s purely in a pervy lustful kinda way. I think we could make it work though – ‘Sweetness’ xxx
I’m sad to hear you only like me in a pervy, lustful kind of way. I really thought we had something going. I’m crying full buckets of tears right now. Maybe I should go get high…
In answer to your question i like a woman to be high when she tells me that she likes me. Actually, come to think of it, i don’t think i’ve ever had a girl tell me she liked me who wasn’t high 😦