So being the pickiest woman I know, I thought this entry would be completely fitting. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not like some people who will completely write a person off based on the fact that they possess one of these offensive characteristics or habits, but ideally I’d rather the guy I end up with not possess any of these. And while I will not necessarily write someone off just because of these things, there are circumstances in which these characteristics and habits will aid in me further having reason to not like a person. I can honestly say I’ve dated a couple of people who have fit into one of these categories, so I think I am at the point where I can rightfully judge men based on these things. Here are my personal top 10 turnoffs (not in any particular order):
1.) Guys who smoke (cigarettes) – Seriously….I hate it. Words cannot express how much I hate it. It’s bad for you, it smells like shit, it’s a waste of money, and your chances of dying earlier are higher than healthy non-smokers. I think the worst is when a guy tries to kiss me after having smoked a cigarette. Seriously? How would you like it if I ate a piece of shit (literally) and then tried to kiss you after that? To me, it’s about the same thing. Plus, it reeks and sticks to clothing and upholstery. Not something I want to smell, nor taste, day after day.
2.) Guys who are intellectually dim – In general, I already have a huge problem with people who are stupid. I detest it and wish dumb people didn’t exist. I have no patience for stupidity and will be very blatant about my dislike for it. Now, I’m not talking a few mistakes here or there – we’re all human and we all make mistakes. I’m talking about people who are just straight up dumb. As one can see by reading a few of my past blog posts, I’ve already come across some dumb men and it was exhausting being with them. Hanging out with dumb people makes me wonder why they are so stupid and gives me a desire to fix their challenged mind. I’m not looking for the next Poet Laureate or someone who is inducted into Mensa, but I also don’t want someone who can’t keep up in conversation with me because they have no fucking clue what I’m talking about.
3.) Guys who didn’t graduate/attend college – This is one where I’m a little bit lenient on because I’ve dated plenty of men who didn’t go to college and they ended up being better than some of the ones that did. But the older I get, the more I realize that I do in fact judge a man on whether he went to/graduated college or not. This has nothing to do with intelligence, because I truly believe some of the smartest people in the world either didn’t go to college or didn’t complete college. For me, it’s about the understanding and being able to relate to another person. College (especially at a university) takes up at the very least 4 years of your life, and in those 4 years a lot of things can change and happen – any college graduate can tell you it was a major part of their lives. If a person doesn’t understand the atmosphere of college – the challenges and struggles, the crazy times, the college life in general – it’s difficult to relate on some levels, especially when that was some of the most important years in your life. And while I would prefer a guy who did graduate, I would be okay with someone who at least completed some years in college and had a good reason to not finish.
4.) Guys who have no interest in/knowledge of REAL music – Being a person who not only grew up listening to all types of music, from The Who and The Beatles, to Etta James and Aretha Franklin, but was also immersed in music and encouraged to sing and learn how to play instruments, this is very important to me. I’m not saying someone needs to be a child prodigy who was playing Pachelbel’s Canon in D Minor by the age of 2, but when the only music a guy knows is the trendy stuff of current, it’s super unattractive. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the trendy music of my generation. But I also have an appreciation for music that is more raw, real…the stuff that requires a person to actually have some musical talent, not just the ability to push some buttons or scream/talk into a microphone. If I mention “Layla” by Eric Clapton, and a guy has no idea who that is, or I decide to listen to The Beatles and a guy looks bored by the mentioning of it, we’re going to have problems.
5.) Guys who drink/party/do drugs too much – Once upon a time, I was a huge party girl. And then I grew up. There’s nothing wrong with partying, having fun, and losing inhibition. But it’s the guys who do it far too often who are the issue; the guys who have the reputation of being a complete disaster all the time. I’m a firm believer in everything in moderation and the same goes for partying, drinking, and drugs. Guys who take it too far are unreliable and usually use their inebriation as an excuse for any type of inappropriate behavior. While that may have been fine in college, it’s repulsive now.
6.) Guys who are too short – Hahaha. Yep, even I have a problem with this at my short stature. Being as small as I am already, nothing weirds me out more than me wearing heels and a guy being shorter or as tall as me. It’s just not right! If I’m wearing heels, I need a guy to be at the very least 4-5 inches taller than me, or appear that way. If a guy and I are seeing each other eye to eye (literally) with heels on, I just can’t date them. Like every other girl, I like the feeling of protection, and a guy who is as short as me just can’t do that. And I am not willing to give up my beautiful heels for any man.
7.) Guys who don’t take care of their bodies – If you know me, you know how addicted I am to being fit and eating right. Some people are addicted to drugs; I’m addicted to working out. So when I come across a guy who doesn’t give two shits about his body, I’m automatically not attracted to him. Again, with everything else, I have made exceptions in the past. But I feel that fitness is a very important thing and it’s imperative for me to find someone who understands this. I’m not saying a guy needs to look like David Beckham (though that would be very nice), but I’d like for a guy to work out regularly and be in shape for his height/size. With that being said, I’d also prefer a guy who can bench me….not kidding whatsoever. I’m small, so if you can’t bench me, you can’t date me.
8.) Guys who can’t spell/don’t know grammar – Writing is a huge part of my life (hence this blog) and it really bugs me when people in general cannot spell things correctly – just ask all the girls I work with. Haha. A few misspellings here and there is permissible, but when someone sends me a text inviting me to a party with plenty of “bear,” I’m not really sure what to think. Writing is a predominant means of communication, and if one cannot articulate themselves correctly in that manner, I go back to thinking they’re stupid.
9.) Guys who constantly flatter me (specifically my looks) – I’m a confident person and I know I’m hot – I don’t need a guy to tell me every time we speak to one another that he thinks I’m attractive. Don’t get me wrong, just like every other girl, I do enjoy hearing it once in awhile. But it’s the guys who think that the best way to woo a girl is to constantly tell her how awesome she is, or how attractive she is. Girls that are insecure eat this shit up, but not me. Because if a guy tells me he thinks I’m attractive too much, I begin to think that the only reason he likes me is because of how I look, and there is nothing I hate more. I am more than just a face or a body – I have a brain, I have feelings, I am artistic…liking me for just my looks will get you NO WHERE.
10.) Guys who are too insecure/too cocky- I guess this can go back to my ideal of moderation. There is nothing more unattractive than a guy who is always down on himself, hating himself, thinking he’s a total loser. At the same time, there is nothing more unattractive than a guy who thinks he’s God’s gift to women and walks around like his shit doesn’t stink (because usually these guys are super ugly and no one likes them). But with that said, I guess that’s another form of insecurity, so really I just have a problem with insecurity. Kind of like how I don’t enjoy being constantly flattered, I don’t believe that I should constantly flatter a guy. If I’m with you, I clearly think you’re hot and really like you. I shouldn’t have to tell you everyday how hot you are and how much I like you. It should be understood. I wouldn’t be with someone who I wasn’t into or thought was ugly. Duh. DUH!!!
Okay after writing all those, I’ve realized I’m super picky and I could go on and on about turnoffs. But I’ll end it here because this is already pretty long.