He said WHAT?!

The idea for this page was given to me by a friend from college (thanks girl!!).  It’s a page dedicated to all the dumb/cheesy/fucked up shit guys have said to me, or just said in general.  Everything written on here is verbatim, including spelling/grammar errors (let’s be honest, I’m psychotically anal about that shit  myself).  This should be good.

• When talking about Barcelona…. “Where is that?”  – “Dum-Dum,” Date #3

• When talking about New Orleans…. “That’s in Missouri, right?” – “Dum-Dum,” Date #3

• Not sure how this EVEN came up, but “D-Bag”‘s friend brought up “D-Bag”‘s penis size.  When I asked how the hell he knows how big his roommates penis is…..”I’ve lived with him for X amount of years, of course I’ve seen it!” – “D-Bag,” Date #4

• “That guy Leslie is talking to is a douche bag.  (Uses hands to demonstrate a scale) Here’s where douche bags are, and here’s where I am.  I’m 85% hot.  I would be 95%, but I don’t make enough money. (Hair flip) ” – “Pretty Boy” (Haha this wasn’t a date, but it was too good not to put it in here!  Thanks to “Miss Pretty Hair” for this one ;-).)

• On St. Patty’s day, after going up to “Buddy” and saying hi and giving him a hug after not having seen each other in years, this was his response: “You’re gorgeous, I’m “Buddy,” what’s your name?” – “Buddy,” Date #8

• About me calling “Interrogator” out on being insecure: “Makes sense.  Hard to analyze myself I suppose.  I didn’t even realize I sounded insecure until you said something.  I should not mention  my weight, and just be me.” (No shit, Sherlock) – “Interrogator,” Date #9

• “You should send me a picture of yourself,” is what he asked me and after me saying no because I had never met him before, his response was, “Are you pretty conservative?” – “Interrogator”, Date #9

• A conversation between “Pretty Boy” and “Miss Pretty Hair” (while I am standing there listening to them):

–MPH: “Leslie reached 95% hot last weekend!”

–PB: “Yeah, well she’s a girl and she has boobs, so that automatically makes her 90%.  And she’s Asian, so that’s an extra 5%.

–MPH: “Well if that’s the case, then she reached like 125%!

–PB: “No, she’s a girl, so you have to subtract 5%.  Plus, there’s a percentage cap for girls.”

• “Hold on to me, like a star, or I’ll fly away” – “Youngin,” Date #14

• “I know I was trying to holler at you when I was underage (giggles), but now I’m of age so…” – “Youngin,” Date #14

• “I haven’t worked out in two days, don’t I still look really good?” – “Hollywood,” Date # 15

• A conversation between myself and “Hollywood”:

–“Hollywood”: “My stomach really hurts.”

–Moi (with genuine concern): “Aww, what’s wrong?”

–“Hollywood”: “I worked out too hard today.”

• “That is perhaps the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.” – “Mr. Big (Present)”, after I called him “the quintessential nerd” (this wasn’t a dumb or cheesy comment, I just thought it was funny!!)

• “Can I take you out again, I don’t know why we didn’t keep dating.” – “Buddy,” Date #8   (Maybe because we were never dating in the first place??)

• “Does this mean I can inject semen into your mouth?” – “Mr. Big (Present)”, after I told him I would make him cupcakes with semen flavored frosting on them for his birthday.  Yes, we have a VERY strange relationship…

• “Awwww, thats fine.  How about 4 than…We can spend a hour or so smiling at each other ;-)” – “Eccentric Cheeseball”, Date #30

• “Lookin forward to seeing ya today!  I’ve got the day off and can’t stop think’n about our 4 pm plans…;-)” – “Eccentric Cheeseball”, Date #30

• “Perfect! 🙂  here is a flower for You Sweetie 😉 (sends me a picture of a flower) – “Eccentric Cheeseball”, Date #30

• A conversation between myself and “Snoop”, Date #32:

– “Snoop”: “im good as well i was thinkn im leaven this wk… that movie django comes out 2marrow or tuesday u want 2 c it (I’m already cringing at the grammar and spelling here)

–Moi: “I usually reserve Christmas for my family and good friends, otherwise I would.  Sorry!”

–“Snoop”: “oh ok i understand that…” (What’s with the ellipses?!?  Makes it seem like he doesn’t, in fact, understand!)

• “huh.  we met at the film fest.  this is “Snoop”.  anyway u dnt kno me cus ur like a brick wall.  anyway I was just tryn 2 be friends but no problem.  i never tried 2 hit on u cus ur not my type.  but u hav a great life!” – “Snoop”, Date #32, after I HAD to make up a lie and say I was engaged  in order to get him to stop contacting me.  Seriously, I tried the nice, honest way…see for yourself.

• A conversation between myself and “Humdrum”:

–“Humdrum”: “how about Bonefish Grill?”

–Moi: “Yea that works.  I haven’t been there in awhile, but I’m pretty sure I liked it the last time I went!”

–“Humdrum”: Lol, did u go with an ex.  Maybe a different restaurant”

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