So I really didn’t have any intentions of ever writing about this guy, because he’s not a part of my life anymore and his appearance was so brief that I didn’t deem him worthy enough to grace my blog. But I know a lot of you had mentioned you wanted some background history on my dating life and this
gentleman asshole would actually be considered someone pertinent, considering he was one of the reasons why I started this blog in the first place!!
The Story….After graduating college, I was kind of at a loss as to how to meet new guys. I knew I could always just go to the bars and try to find a guy there, but how lame is that? Besides, there’s the stigma of finding someone at a bar, and even though some people do in fact find the love of their life at a bar, I wasn’t about to join that crowd. Around this time, I was still seeing “Mr. Big (Present)” every once in awhile, but I was quickly losing interest since it had been so long with us doing the same thing, with no change whatsoever. I was to the point where I was over it and I just wanted to find someone else.
Being the social butterfly that I am, I started talking to some of the guys who worked at the box office at my work (I work in the theater district…like Broadway musicals and plays…not the movie theater…). If I remember correctly, earlier in the year, one of the guys had nervously asked for my number after I had spoken to him once. It was really cute and he was a fairly good looking guy, so I gave him my number. That ended up being one of the worse dates ever, with him being super nervous, awkward, and the epitome of insecure. I mean, the guy went to the bathroom and when he came out he told me, “I’m surprised you’re still here, I thought you were going to leave while I was gone.” Yep. He really said that.
But enough with all that. The guy this post is dedicated to is the friend of awkward boy I went on a date with. I really never paid much attention to the people at the box office before, but they had renovated things so that the box office would be facing the bar that I make occasional guest appearances at and we could all stare longingly at each other if we all wanted to. “Box Office Hipster” never really made an impression on me. I remember having bought a ticket for something from him and him trying to talk to me but I just disregarded him. He just never stood out and I didn’t think much of him, except he was kinda cute. But with the renovation and being having a lot of breaks in between shows, I ended up chatting with him on occasion. It started out pretty innocently, but eventually we began flirting…a lot! I would even catch him staring at me from across the way on occasion, and while I was creeped out, it was kind of flattering. But he never asked me for my number or made any indication he wanted to hang out. So it was frustrating and intriguing all at the same time.
Finally, after two months of chatting and flirting and creepily staring, he asked for my number. I had been working that night and so had he, so before he took off for the night, he invited me out with him and his friends. I told him that I maybe would and that I would let him know as soon as I got off. Well of course I went to meet up with him!! And I ended up getting drunk. If I remember correctly, I gave him a lap dance at the bar we were at and proceeded to make out with him a bit. When last call hit, I knew I couldn’t drive home. And I started to panic a bit. I didn’t want to stay at his place since that was the first time we had ever hung out, but it was looking like I had no other option. Outside of his friend’s place, I kept telling him I couldn’t stay at his place and I tried calling my friend who lived in the area to see if I could stay at his place (turns out I was right in front of his building as I was panicking…shows just how drunk I was). So I ended up staying the night at “Box Office Hipster”‘s place. He was a complete gentleman, and even offered to sleep on the floor if it would make me comfortable.
After that night, we were practically inseparable. He would text me several times a day every single day, from the time I got up till bedtime and would want to hang out as much as humanly possible. He even got sad/upset when he was supposed to be having a guys night and I didn’t tell him I was at a nearby bar. Honestly, I was completely overwhelmed. And I definitely felt smothered
at times a lot of the time. But he was good to me and he liked me, so I went with it. He had told me I was the first girl he had been excited about in a really long time and that he really liked me. So of course, I fell for it. And that’s where I went wrong….
There had been several warning signs that I shouldn’t date this guy. Right from the get go, he told me that he wasn’t good with relationships whatsoever and he usually got tired of girls after a month or so. And from there, instead of ending it with them, he would just stop talking to them and would ignore them completely. That should have been RED FLAG number one. But clearly I’m an idiot. He also didn’t have a savings account and didn’t believe in saving money; his belief was that if he earned it, he can spend it however he chose. He had a weird thing with his image (I’m guessing it was because he was fat in high school and then lost a bunch of weight after) and literally took as long as I did, if not a tad bit longer to get ready. And when I say get ready, I mean we would just go over to his friend’s place and he’d have to get ready to go there. With a hat on he looked good…though I soon discovered just how awful he looked without one. His hair was receding BADLY, and just gross looking. He thought it was weird that I didn’t wear a lot of makeup and that I wasn’t always 100% put together all the time, because all the girls he had dated in the past wore tons of makeup, always had their hair and nails done, and always dressed up. He also made a comment that if I lost any more weight, he couldn’t date me anymore. Yes, he was a bit of a chubby chaser. Closed minded doesn’t even begin to describe his thought process. He never saw outside of the box, on anything. He had a weird thing about being in the spotlight or the center of attention, and hated when any attention was brought onto him. I’m the complete opposite, so you can only imagine how that went. He thought sex or anything sexual was the reason why he lost interest in the girls in the past, so with me he didn’t want to do anything whatsoever initially. It was like 2 weeks before we did anything but make out. And that’s a long time for me. Seriously…I could go on even longer than this. But I won’t bore you all with it.
Anyways, as predicted, after about a month, he became really distant. It was right after I had called him out for being so closed minded. Weirdly enough, even with all the red flags going off, I was super upset that we had stopped talking. I’m not an openly emotional person and usually do the opposite of what other girls do (i.e. girls usually text/call guys A LOT…I don’t at all; girls are always like “Oh I like you so much” and are all over the guy…I just assume the guy knows how I feel and I’m never all over him – in fact, I’m usually distant; etc.), but I started to when he stopped talking to me, telling him I missed him and shit. What the fuck. He also owed me some money, so I was very determined to get that back. Not because it was a lot, just because of the principle.
Where is he now……After about a month or so of us not really speaking and him still owing me some money, he met a new girl. She was definitely the needy, clingy, whore makeup, Oh-my-god-I-like-you-SO-much type that he needed. A girl who didn’t have very many friends nor a life of her own so that all her time could be spent on him. Oh, and I should mention, she’s definitely large and in charge. Haha. Of course, after a month or so of casually dating, they became official and have been together ever since. I think they even moved in together a few months after they became official. How lovely.
What I learned…I realized that “Box Office Hipster” was very similar to “First” in that they both wanted me to be something that I wasn’t. Luckily, since I had learned the first time around changing myself and who I am was not beneficial to anyone, especially myself, I didn’t change myself for this one. But I definitely contemplated it, which scared the shit out of me. I never thought I would do it again, and here I was contemplating it. I think my experience with this one also further drove the point across that I should find someone who likes me for me, flaws and all, instead of someone who has an idea of what it is they want in their head and tries to make me into that. Either way, it’s an experience that I am grateful for, and a person that I’m glad to have out of my life for good.