Archive | August 2012

Date #22: “The Hangovers”, “Oldie” and “Bartender (1 and 2)”

Note: This wasn’t an actual legitimate date, but I am counting it based on the context of the situation.  It was like 3 vignettes of a date if anything.

How We Met: I took a trip this past weekend to the city known for its windy ways.  I spent most of my first day there just exploring the city by myself since my cousin who had met up with me couldn’t stay and my friend who I was staying with was still at work.  I window shopped, went to the beach and laid out, went up to an observatory to look at views of the city, but after awhile I was getting super lonely, not having talked to a single person (in a legitimate conversation) in hours.  I finally decided to do the one thing I know how to do well: go get some dinner and have a drink.  Since cops roam the city there quite freely, I decided to ask them for some suggestions.  A restaurant I hadn’t heard of was recommended to me and was only a block away so I decided to go there.  Initially, I thought I would be a complete outsider considering the fact that I was in my swimsuit with just a short little dress on, no makeup on whatsoever, hair having sand in it, and the restaurant/bar seemed a bit fancy.  But I learned quickly that I fit right in.  I sat myself in between some men at the bar, and that’s where it all began.

-Rating (sorry, this might get confusing):

*Physical Aesthetics: “The Hangovers” – 8; “Oldie” – 7 (for his age); “Bartender 1” – 9; “Bartender 2” – 6 (I kind of don’t remember what he looks like…)

*Appearance: “The Hangovers” – 8; “Oldie” – 7; “Bartender 1” and “Bartender 2” – they were wearing uniforms, but I’ll give them both a 10

*Personality: 10 for everyone

*Manners: 10 for everyone

*Intelligence: 8 for everyone

*Confidence: “The Hangovers” – 8; “Oldie” – 9; “Bartender 1” and “Bartender 2” – 10

*Overall Rating: 10 for everyone!!

The “Dates”:

I’m not sure how speed dating works since I have never been on a speed date (which I do need to get to doing soon here…), but I can only imagine it would be something similar to this.  Or at least I would like it to be something like this.  The minute I sat down at the bar, I had men talking to me at all sides (except behind me).  “Bartender 1” greeted to me and offered me a drink, one of the guys from “The Hangovers” (I’m collectively calling their group this) immediately starts talking to me, and eventually “Oldie” began to talk to me as well.  I’m assuming a competition was going on between “Bartender 1” and “Bartender 2” because then they both started speaking to me and tried to be “my” bartender.  We all shot the shit for a good while, at least an hour or so.

“Bartender 1” – The first thing I thought of when I saw this one was how attractive he was.  I’m not a huge fan of blondes, but this one was so handsome!  Tall, built well, and so sweet.  It turns out he’s from Michigan and had moved down to the city with a girlfriend about 2 years ago.  It didn’t work out with his girlfriend (of course it didn’t) but he loved it there so much and was making good money at his job there at the restaurant that he stayed.  He said he makes a lot of money working in the industry and that no matter what bar you work at, you’re going to make some good money.  I told him how I was thinking about moving out there and he gave me a suggestion of some bars I could apply to where I was guaranteed to be hired.  He also gave me suggestions on places to eat/drink while I was in town and told me if I called “Bartender 2” that we could all hang out.  I don’t know much about “Bartender 2” since he kind of just started talking to me out of nowhere when he was never my bartender to begin with, but he was cool too.  He ended up giving me his number and told me to call him so we could hang out while I was in town.  Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to hang out with either of them because of scheduling and just being busy in general.  Hopefully they are still there when and if I end up moving out there, or even if I just visit again!

“The Hangovers” – The reason why I’ve chosen this nickname is because this was the group of guys to my right who were in town having their “Hangover” type weekend.  Apparently, they’re friends from awhile ago and they’re all married, but every year, once a year, they pick a city to go to and hang out with just the guys for the whole weekend.  During this weekend, they get extremely drunk, tour whatever city they are in, and go to games (this time they were going to a Cubs vs. Rockies game).  They’re all around their late 30’s/early 40’s and were super sweet.  I honestly can’t remember any of their names even though we all did a bunch of introductions, but I do know that one is from Dallas/Fort Worth and one was from Argentina.  Also, one of their friends who came later had made a bet with them about last years fantasy football and lost, so had to shave his beard into a mustache.  He came in all mustached out, having it turned up on the sides and everything.  He also had us all feel his face (since he went to a barber to get it done) and it literally did feel like a baby’s butt hahaha.  They were all super nice and super sweet and super respectful.  In fact, the one who initially started talking to me accidentally touched my leg and kind of freaked out, apologizing profusely.  It was very sweet and cute.  They’re all super devoted to their families and wives, they just like to do the once a year “Guy’s Night” weekend.  They all wished me the best of time while I was in the city and headed off, extremely inebriated, into the night.

“Oldie” – I didn’t even take notice of “Oldie” initially because, well…he is old.  Like really old (for me), probably in his 50’s or so.  But we started talking as well when I told him I was in town for the weekend.  He himself was in town for a business trip and is originally from Boston but has lived in New Jersey for some time now.  He works in sales (didn’t specify what exactly) and apparently visits that restaurant every time he’s in town (if you’re all curious, the restaurant is Ditka’s and I highly recommend it because it’s delicious).  “Bartender 1” mentioned this area of bars called the Viagra Triangle, and “Oldie” pressed him for more details about this area, being completely serious.  So I’m assuming “Oldie” is quite the dirty old bastard.  He was leaving the city the next morning and then traveling to Brazil for more business, so whatever “sales” job this guy has seems to be pretty good.

Honestly, the main thing to take away from this “date” is that it made me realize just how much is out there and how much I haven’t discovered yet.  Like I said in one of my previous posts, I was getting super sad with everyone finding someone to be with and me not having even a single soul.  But after this encounter, I’ve decided that I’m perfectly fine without someone and there’s million of guys out there I have yet to experience.  So all in all, this was an amazing experience for me.

*Positives: They were all really nice and super polite, I got free drinks from “Bartender 1” & “Bartender 2”, I got great recommendations of places to go, I had a wonderful first night in the city because of them…the list could go on, honestly they were all so great!

*Negatives: “Bartender 1” and “Bartender 2” don’t live anywhere near me, “The Hangovers” are all married, “Oldie” is too old.

Second First Date?: Well I think it’s fairly clear that a date will never happen between “The Hangovers” (they’re married) nor with “Oldie” (he’s too old).  But the other two…possibly.  I’d prefer “Bartender 1” over “Bartender 2” but I’d be willing with either.

Date #21: “Kooky”

How We Met:  We met through the dating website What’s Your Price.  I hadn’t been having much luck on the website, even though my last date that I met on there, “Dream Maker” was AWESOME!!  I just hadn’t been getting a lot of “winks” (as they are called) on the website and when I did, they were men from other states.  Now, as much as I would love to fly out to another state to be paid to hang out with someone, it’s still a sketchy situation.  Anyways, “Kooky” winked at me, I gave him my offer and that was that.  We discussed when we would both be available, I suggested a place, and it was set.  Initially, like almost every other date I’ve been on, I was apprehensive to go on this one.  My apprehension with this was that he was older than me…much older.  49.  Being in my mid-twenties, that’s a bit of an age gap.  Having an affinity for younger men (yes, I rob the cradle, fucking deal with it), this territory was certainly new to me.  And while the oldest guy I had ever gone for (before this date) was 12 years older than me, this was still extremely different.  Especially considering I did not meet him in person.  Anyways, yes I was interested to see what would come of it.

-Rating:

*Physical Aesthetics: 8 (for his age)

*Appearance: 5

*Personality: 5

*Manners: 6

*Intelligence: 5

*Confidence: I’ll say 7 but really it’s more so N/A (I really couldn’t gauge)

*Overall Rating: 5

The Date:

Since I hadn’t gone on a date in SO long (my own doing, really), I figured I should probably go out with this guy before I went on my vacation.  I really needed to pack which is why I took the night off from work, but I got most of it done pretty early so I decided to not bail on this date.  “Kooky” left the decision up to me as to where we would meet, so I had him meet me at a bar that I had really been wanting to go to for awhile.  It’s a speakeasy style bar and I just LOVE those types of bars, so I figured what better way to experience that place than with a new person!

I got there before him, so I got us a table.  And the most awkward thing happened…sitting at the table right next to me…and when I say right next to me, I mean I could hear his conversation with the person he was with, was a guy I went to high school with and traveled to Europe with in high school.  It took me a minute to realize it was him, but when I did, it was most definitely awkward.  While it takes a lot to embarrass me (I do a good job of embarrassing myself on a regular basis so it’s almost normal to me now), this situation did in the sense that the guy I was meeting up with was not only a guy I met online, but a guy who is almost twice my age.  We both acted like we didn’t recognize each other though which was wonderful.  “Kooky” finally arrived, and (thank god…maybe not, I don’t know?) he looked just like his picture on his profile.  I’ve heard so many horror stories of people not looking the same in person as they did in their profile picture, so I feel lucky to have had similar aesthetics in both profile and in person for the two people I’ve met online.

Honestly, I’ve had some really bad dates (as I’m sure you can/have read in my past posts), but this one was pretty bad.  He was a nice guy, but we had NOTHING to talk about.  There were moments where there was an awkward lull in conversation, and I literally had to think of anything I could to initiate conversation once more.  I felt that it was me doing most of the talking and him kind of just answering.  He works as the manager of a facility which deals with senior citizens with mental disabilities.  His company helps aid these disabled citizens in finding homes, jobs, etc.  This is most definitely an admirable job, but I felt that he himself could perhaps use the help he is giving to these people.  The way he spoke to me and just spoke in general was very strange…I’d say eccentric, but it was beyond that.  It was almost as if he had a mental deficiency himself.  But he did graduate from Dartmouth so I’m not too sure what to think of that either.  The conversation was very forced the entire time and we had NOTHING in common.  Basically, if I liked something, he hated it.  We talked a lot about alcohol and drinking (I’m a bartender, that shit always comes up), and he pretty much hates every alcohol I like.  I love vodka and whiskey, he likes gin.  Seriously??  Nothing in common.  I hate to blame the age gap, but I’m going to go with the probability that a lot of it has to do with him being almost twice my age.

We finally found common ground on the next bar that we went to (which ironically is the same bar/restaurant that I went to with “Almost Birthday Twin”) when we started talking sports.  While we still weren’t into the same sports (he loves football and nothing else really, I love basketball), the conversation flowed much better when talking about this.  At one point I had to pee, so I left my drink at the bar (duh).  Honestly, I was terrified he was going to roofie me (yes I can be a bit of a hypochondriac), so I set my beer up in such a way that I would know if it was touched when I got back.  And I really did think my beer moved and that he had roofied me when I got back.  But I never blacked out so I guess not?  Haha.  Anyways, the night ended about 2 1/2 hours after it started, with a nice little bonus at the end ($$$).

*Positives: He was a nice guy, he looked like what he did in his profile picture, he paid for everything (but I’m not sure if that’s a positive considering the website says they have to)

*Negatives: We have absolutely nothing in common, he’s weird as fuck, he’s old, I think he may have his own mental disability…honestly I could go on and on and on…

*Second Date?: Ya, I don’t think so.

Random: We’re “JUST” Friends (and random sidenotes)

Sidenote: Before I actually get to writing about the topic I’ve chosen, I’d like to apologize for neglecting everyone, including my blog itself.  I just haven’t really been in the mood to go on dates…I’m kind of in another “I Hate Guys” period (refer to my post “I ‘Hate’ Men?” to understand just how I’m feeling).  I just kind of feel like nothing ever works out with me and any guy and it’s really bumming me out at the moment.  But alas, I guess that’s the reason why I have this blog.  Ha.  Anyways, I was also so caught up in the Olympics that I literally sat on my couch for 5 hours a night for 2 weeks and became absolutely worthless.  Yeah.  Okay, I’m done.

Guy friends…friends with benefits…”just” friends….what does any of that really mean?  For the longest time, I truly believed that men and women could be just friends…strictly, platonic friends.  And I still believe this – to a certain extent.  I remember guys I know (and some ladies too) always saying how guys and girls could never be just friends and no matter what one thinks, there’s always one person in the “friendship” who wants something more.  I always disregarded this notion, because I myself had plenty of (sometimes I think too many) guy friends who truly were just my friends.  And to reiterate, I still believe this idea that guys and girls CAN be just friends if they want to be.  But I won’t lie, there have been many instances as of late which has led me to believe that maybe (just in some situations, of course) guys and girls CAN’T just be friends.

I have a TON of guy friends – to the point where I think about my future wedding (if it ever happens) and how my bridal party would probably have to have some guys in it considering I’m closer to a lot more guys than I am girls.  I tell these guys all my girl problems just like I would if they were a girl, do things with them that I would do with my girlfriends, and pretty much trust them with my life.  In fact, there are a few guys in my life that I would tell my secrets to that I won’t tell even some of my girlfriends.  I have so many guy friends and hang out with them so often that I end up being the girl at the bar who does not get hit on by any guys because of this factor.  Which is fine with me.  These guys are always asking why I never bring girls for them, yet they fail to notice that I never hang out with girls (I’m always with them…duh!).  I won’t lie, I may have made out with a few (a lot) of them, but it never went anywhere more than that and none of us have ever made it weird after either.  Really, they’re just some of my very best friends who I love to death more than anything and yeah.

But lately, within the past year or two, I’ve definitely had some of these guy friends changing their tune.  We’d go from being super close and being JUST friends to them all of a sudden admitting that they have had some sort of feelings for me either in the past or in present day.  Or they just straight up start hitting on me/flirting with me…and not just friendly flirting that we normally partake in.  These aren’t just some acquaintance type, party friends either – they’re like fairly good friends of mine.  And when this happens, I become confused.  Really confused.  What happened to the strictly platonic friendship we once had??  And what is it about now that they’ve all of a sudden decided to reveal these feelings??  Being a girl, of course I take this too far and start to ponder whether all my guy friends are just being my friend to inevitably try and sleep with me.  Then I become even more confused and try to avoid thinking about it all together.  Ha.

Some lovely ladies I know think the best people to date are your guy friends – that way you already know how they are and how they will treat you.  One lovely lady I know will ONLY date guys she is friends with first and does not date “strangers” whatsoever.  But to be honest, I’ve really never been that type.  Every guy I’ve dated has been someone I was attracted to from the get-go and I was never friends with them first.  This doesn’t mean I wouldn’t ever date a guy who I was friends with first, because believe me, I have some hot friends!   It’s just how the cookie crumbles in my dating life.  I don’t necessarily believe the whole saying about people being in the friend zone and staying there either.  Which is why this all confuses me even more….do I go for these friends when they give me indication that they want something more?  Do I leave it alone and pretend it never happened or that this is just a normal occurrence?  Do I worry about ruining my friendship with them?

This leads back to my initial question…Can guys and girls really, ever be,  just friends?  I really am interested in hearing everyone’s opinion on this (both lovely ladies and the guys out there who keep up with my blog) so please let me know!!

Andddddd….back to another sidenote…..

Sidenote:  While I have been bumming about men lately, I won’t lie there IS a guy who I am interested in…based on completely false pretenses though.  I’ve noticed him at my gym (yep, stereotypical jock boy, whatever) for the past couple of months.  But I’m not the one who goes to the gym to hit on guys – I am there strictly to work out.  I look like shit, try not to talk to anyone, nor make eye contact.  But I have most definitely noticed him.  He’s hot, tall, and ripped.  I love his face…like literally his face is hot!!  Anyways, I’m not really sure how to go about approaching him.  I (creepily) stare at him as much as I can which is as far as I’ve gone.  He talked to me once…to ask if he could use the same machine I was using with me.  In response, because I was so into my work out, I think I rudely said yeah and didn’t smile back when he smiled at me.  So yeah.  I feel like a fucking little school girl again, which is obnoxious and exciting all at the same time.  Anyways, help with this would also be greatly appreciated.  I’m at my ugliest at the gym, so I have nothing to help me out.  Though I would like to make him one of my dates……