Random: In Meeting Men…

This was a topic given to me by How To Online Date (thank you!! :-)) back in my post at the beginning of the month.  She asked which method she felt has gotten me the best dates.  It’s like she read my mind, because throughout the process of writing my blog, I’ve looked back to see how I’ve met each guy and whether it worked or didn’t work.  I just never thought about writing about it.  So here we go.

Meeting between two screens….

Online Dating: To be honest, I’ve never been a fan of the idea of online dating.  I feel that it’s very superficial in some sense and I don’t like the idea of meeting someone inorganically (for lack of a better term).  I already have enough of a problem with men only liking women for their aesthetic features and not anything else, and I feel online dating further implements this.  Granted, I know this method has worked out well for many people, but it’s just not me.  But because I wanted to try all outlets, I joined one dating website called What’s Your Price, as suggested by a friend.  Basically, you get paid to go on dates.  So far, I’ve been on 4 dates from this website (and 1 “text date”, if you will), and I’ve gotten a 50/50 success rate.  While the 50% that turned up good was actually really good and I enjoyed the dates even more than some of the other guys I’ve met in other ways, the 50% that were bad were really bad.  Granted, those really bad dates were also with older men (40+), so maybe that was my issue.  Also, with online dating, I feel it’s more so a job than anything else.  I have to make sure I message these guys back in a certain amount of time, otherwise they wonder if I’m still there or not.  If I slack and forget to check the website, it’s like I have to start all over again when trying to find guys.  Plus a lot of the time, these guys will say they want to go on a date, then nothing ever happens after we agree to do it.  Correspondences seem to cease.  Maybe if I joined another site, like POF or OKCupid, I’d get better results.  But I’m just not convinced on the whole concept of online dating to begin with, that the incentive What’s Your Price gives me at least some motivation to go through with it.  Overall though, I’d have to say I’m still sticking to not being a fan of online dating.

Dates from What’s Your Price:

Not true, but sometimes…..;-)

Mutual Friends: Oh my lovely, lovely friends.  How they know me, and don’t know me all at the same time.  Again, this is kind of like with the online dating, where it’s been very 50/50 (but I guess that’s everything in life…).  I’ve met some amazing guys through some friends (like “Indian Warrior” who introduced me to “Mr. Big (Present)”…and when I say introduce, I mean more so made us make out randomly at a bar) and some weird ass guys through other friends (I’m not even going to mention you all…).  I think “Indian Warrior” (she chose that nickname by the way, I was gonna go with “Indian Princess” because it sounded better) takes the cake on introducing me to the best guys, and maybe that’s just because she knows me very well, or knows some normal, amazing guys…or maybe a bit of both.  But I’ve definitely had the most success with guys she has introduced me to.  All the others either don’t know me as well as they think they do, or the guys they set me up with just aren’t my type and they were setting me up just for the sake of setting me up.  I will say that I have better success meeting guys through friends though than I do through online dating.

Dates from Mutual Friends:

Men From My Past: This method of finding men for my blog is consistent with the two in that it’s been 50/50, though I will say that that ratio is depending on who we are talking about from my past.  If it was a friend/acquaintance, the date was amazing (or at least good).  If it was a guy from my past who I dated, wanted to date me, had some sort of feelings for me, etc., the outcome wasn’t as great.  While I can’t say I never do this, I do believe that there is a reason why a guy is in your past (the same goes for men with girls in their past).  And although I do feel that sometimes you can work things out and that maybe you just needed time to sort through things, the likelihood of that happening isn’t very high.  A past is a past for a reason.  I do have to attest that meeting men for my blog this way is better in the sense that the dates are never awkward since I already know them to a certain extent.  There’s none of those getting-to-know-you type questions or other awkward type shit.  But the downfall is the fact that they’re in my past, and they’re obviously there for a reason, so bringing them into the future is regressing a bit.

Dates from My Collection of Men from the Past:

Random Meetings: I think it’s obvious that this has proven to be the most effective method for me in meeting men…well at least in my opinion, who actually knows if these guys are good for me or not haha.  But for me, when I meet a guy, it’s about the initial attraction, the chemistry, the way they carry themselves.  I am able to determine for myself whether they fit the qualities that I look for in a man from the get-go.  Obviously, there are times where my initial intuition is incorrect, but I like to know that at least it is my own fault for picking a loser rather than someone else’s stupidity or a false facade as is proven in online dating.  Plus I like meeting new men on my own because nothing feels forced and there’s no obligation.  It’s sheer desire.

Dates from Random Meetings:

If anyone can think of any good places where they like to meet people, please comment below!!  I’d love to hear everyone else’s ideas and opinions on meeting people.  😉

7 thoughts on “Random: In Meeting Men…

  1. I know my favorite places to meet women are the grocery store, my apartment complex, and random social gatherings. If I wasn’t following such a structured workout program I would start talking to girls at the gym.

  2. I hadn’t realised that What’s Your Price was your only experience of online dating – am I reading that correctly? What’s Your Price is not an average representation of an online dating site – it sounds closer to an escort service. I don’t mean a “have sex for money” escort service, but the more literal kind where someone pays to have someone pretty/handsome on their arm for the evening. I’m not trying to be harsh towards you, but by going on What’s Your Price you’re avoiding all of the guys who have enough going for them that they don’t need to pay a woman to meet up with them, and heading straight for the guys who do apparently need to pay, or at least want to pay, which sounds problematic in other ways.

    I fully admit that it sounds like online dating might not be appealing to you anyway, so I’m not saying that if you try some other site it’ll be wonderful – there’ll still be some unusual characters in there. I’m just saying that What’s Your Price is not a typical online dating site, so if you were looking to test out a typical online dating site then I think you’d need to pick one where the guy doesn’t pay you to meet him.

    • Yep, it’s my only online dating experience. That’s fair to say it’s not the average representation of online dating, I totally agree with that. My whole thing with online dating in general is that, at least to me, it’s a facade. If a person is as great in person as they say they are on their profiles, then why are they having such a hard time meeting people in person?? I’ve never had a desire nor need to online date, I honestly just did it for the blog so that I would experience different type of people and have something to write about. Something different from the norm, if you will. But I see your point, I guess it would have been better if I had just joined the typical OkCupid or Plenty of Fish sites. Any sites you recommend? And I don’t think you’re being harsh at all, you’re just being honest!! 🙂

  3. I can see how online dating could come across as being all about projecting a certain image which might not be an accurate image. I think that some people lie in their online dating profiles and other people don’t. If someone sounds (and looks) ridiculously amazing then possibly they’re lying, or even if they’re telling the truth there’s probably going to be massive competition for their attention. I preferred looking for people who wrote some things which I liked but also owned up to some imperfections. But I can’t really say that I’ve got recent relevant experience, because my online dating was around 9 years ago in a different country from you (England.) I was about to try online dating again early last year but happened to meet someone through blogging instead. But I imagine if you did try it you might prefer to try a free one, and I get the impression that OKCupid might be “better” than Plenty Of Fish. There’ll still be some shady characters on there but hopefully some more promising guys too!

    • Awesome, well I may just check that out then, thanks for the tips!! Just curious, but based off of reading the blogs of other daters in the U.S., do you see any significant differences in dating compared to England?? I think that would be a fascinating thing to investigate/read about/write about!! 🙂

  4. My girlfriend has previously dated in the US and in England and she says that things are more structured in the US, as in people specifically say “this is a date, we are going on a date” whereas in the UK people are more casual about hanging out. She also says that things revolve more around drinking alcohol in the UK and most first meetings are in a pub, whereas in the US more people might go for coffee or do an activity like walking in a park or go to a restaurant.

    I think it sounds like US dating is also more structured in terms of categorising people according to certain traits. Things like height and career success (mainly for men) and weight and age (for women) are factors over here but they seem to be bigger factors over there – it seems like maybe there’s more of a tendancy to insist upon certain traits before being willing to try interacting with someone and seeing whether you get on. I could be wrong, because as I said I don’t have US experience myself to back it up (and even in the UK I’ve only been on one proper first date in the last 8 years due to being in long-term relationships) but that’s the impression I’ve come away with.

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