Archive | January 2012

Date #3: “Dum-Dum”

How We Met: We met through some married friends of ours a couple of years ago or so.  Apparently, he has liked me for awhile and he’s been trying to ask me out since last year.  But I was either seeing someone at the time or just wasn’t looking for anything whatsoever, so we never got a chance to go out.

Rating:

*Physical Aesthetics: 6

*Appearance: 6

*Personality: 5

*Manners: 5

*Intelligence: 3-4

*Confidence: 5

*Overall Rating: 5

The Date: Unfortunately, I have really nothing good to say about this date.  Just warning everyone….

We’ve been planning to go out for a couple weeks now, but just now finally had the chance.  To be honest, I didn’t think we’d be compatible whatsoever (I was right) so I’ve kind of been holding off going out with “Dum-Dum.”  But since I’ve decided to write this blog and have an open mind about EVERYONE this year, I decided to give him a chance.

“Dum-Dum” had been telling me to think of something fun to do, so I suggested we go to Dave & Busters.  I figured that’d be something fun that allows us not only to interact with one another, but to connect with our inner child.  When we get there, he is completely lost on what to do.  Now, I’m not saying we all need to just naturally know what to do when we enter such a place as Dave & Busters, but I feel it is fairly self explanatory on what to do (-ask for help-) when one does not know what they are doing.  He literally waited for me to take the initiative to get us game cards and just stood their dumbfounded as I took control.  Now, if you know me, you know I have a complete intolerance for stupidity.  So this was already starting to turn out pretty bad in  my opinion.

But I decided to open my mind (the shit I do for the sake of writing…) and didn’t let this get me down.  We got our game cards and started playing games.  To be honest, I had a ton of fun!  We played a lot of competition games, which was nice because I’m very competitive.  While he did beat me in a couple of the games, I beat him in the majority of the competition games we played.  I’m not sure if he was just letting me win (which I told him not to do) or if I just actually rock at games, but I was pretty happy that I even beat this guy who looked like he knew how to throw a football at the football throw game.  So we continued to play games and it truly was SO much fun.  Well…I had fun.  “Dum-Dum” seemed to be expressionless or not having a good time – I really couldn’t tell the difference.

So after we played games, we decided to get dessert.  Here’s where the bulk of my frustration started.  I asked him where he wanted to get dessert and he couldn’t give me an answer, or even any choices to pick from.  His main line from the night was, “I don’t know, what do you want do/where do you want to go?”  Now, while I think it’s sweet when a guy lets a girl pick what to do, this guy basically had no opinion whatsoever about anything.  I’m an indecisive person naturally, but even I can make a decision when need be.  So we (I) finally arrived on the decision to just stay at D&B and have dessert there.

We took a seat at the bar and began to talk.  I tried talking to him about things I would normally talk about with other people, like aspirations and goals in life, traveling, sports, etc.  He didn’t really have much of an opinion about anything, just here and there about sports and traveling really.  I was really shocked when it came to aspirations and goals, because he had none whatsoever.  In his words, he just wanted a “simple life” which consists of having enough money to be comfortable.  And while that’s a fair aspiration, he also mentioned that he wasn’t doing too much to progress towards it.  That’s when I told him, “Well, you can’t just sit on your ass and expect things to just happen for you.  You’ve gotta actually do something about it.”  It was then that he kind of cowered, almost as if I had scolded him.  Yet I never raised my voice (no really, I didn’t) nor was I abrasive about it.  I thought it was a bit of an interesting reaction.  Things got even worse when we began talking about traveling.  He told me he had been to all 50 states in the U.S. which I think is pretty cool since I’ve really only been to the East and West Coasts, with a few states in between.  Yet, for some reason, he didn’t know where a BIG city in the U.S. was located (actual quote will be located in my new page about dumb things guys say =) ).  Now, I’m not saying we all need to be geographical geniuses, but you should at least know the important things about a country you live in, such as the name of your President (or Prime Minister in some countries) and the location of major cities.

Long story short, I didn’t know people who appear on “Jay Walking” on the Jay Leno Show actually existed in real life.  This guy was a complete ignoramus in every sense of the word.  I can tell he’s not one who takes much initiative in anything in life and is more than willing to let others make decisions for him whether they be good or detrimental to his well being.  He doesn’t seem to have much of an opinion about anything and he’s the complete epitome of a dud.  Maybe he was just super nervous, but I don’t think nerves play into a person’s intelligence (or in this case, lack thereof).  It was exhausting trying to converse with him because of the lack of content in conversation.  It’s so unfortunate that I really have nothing nice to say, because he truly is a very sweet and nice guy.  I wish I had something good to say about him because I think he tried very hard to make this date good, and I did have fun, but it just wasn’t what, in my opinion, a good date should be.  I could go on and on about the mishaps of this date, but I think this is a good place to stop.

I think he would be better off dating someone a bit younger, more naive and immature…maybe someone who is very “pretty.”

*Positives: He’s a very nice guy, he complimented me quite a bit, he paid for my dessert and drink.

*Negatives: He lacks intelligence all-together, he has no initiative, he isn’t confident in what he wants, he doesn’t appear to have an opinion about anything, is a total pothead, reminds me of “Dolphin Teeth”,  he comes off as very disheveled – not in looks, but more so in demeanor….seriously, I could go on forever.

Second Date?: Highly unlikely.  Though I’m always willing to give second chances in the event a person just had a bad day or what not.  But if I was him, I wouldn’t hold my breath.

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Random: History of “Mr. Big (Past)”

Note: The nickname “Mr. Big” does not refer to anything anatomical (you sick fucks).  Refer to  *The Rules*  to understand the meaning of this nickname.

You might be wondering why I’m writing this entry, especially considering the fact that in the title of this entry I mention that this person is someone from my past.  My reasoning behind this is because I think it is important to give my audience a background of where I am coming from and to know some history about my dating life.  Also, this person played a somewhat significant role in my life for some years and I think it’s important to share this to truly understand why I am writing this blog.

Then… I met “Mr. Big (Past)” my junior year of college when I was 20 and he was 18 , just starting his freshman year of college.  Yes, I robbed the cradle…big time.  While that may not seem like a huge age gap now that I’m older, it most definitely was back then.  And yes, I got made fun of hardcore.

I went to a friend’s party a week or so before school started with a clear head.  I had finally gotten over “Dolphin Teeth” (I may reference him a bit through my blog, but I will never write a history about him because I find him to be a very insignificant person with no pertinence to my life whatsoever) and was ready to just have fun with my life and meet new guys.  The party was a lot of fun, especially because they had a hot tub, so a lot of us took advantage of that.  “Mr. Big (Past)” was one of the people in the hot tub.  I’m not too sure how he ended up at this party considering my friends were juniors and he was a freshman, but he was there.  I thought nothing of him except that he was a little freshman and it was cute how he was trying to party with the “big kids.”  I think I made him motor boat my friends boobs to introduce him to college (how nice of me, huh?).  So that was that, I didn’t think any thing of him.  The next day, my friends had a party again, and of course we were all in the hot tub again.  I knew that he lived in the dorms that were kind of by my house since I had seen him walking there the night before, so I asked him to walk me and my roommate home later on in the night.  Well, being champion drinkers that me and my roommate were, she got a little too drunk so we instead got a ride home from a friend.  Weirdly enough, “Mr. Big” still decided to come home with us.  He helped me get my roommate into our house and once we got her situated, we just talked.  At the time, I was very impressed.  We seriously sat there chatting for over an hour, just getting to know one another.  Maybe it was the alcohol, or I was feeling vulnerable, but I basically cried to him about “Dolphin Teeth” and instead of being weirded out, he comforted me and made me feel like a princess.  He was so young, so while I did allow him to sleep in my bed with me, nothing happened that first night =).  It was so nice to find a guy who seemed to sincerely care about me, even after only knowing me for a day.

So that’s how we started.  At first it was lovely, and he doted on me and called me ALL the time wanting to hang out.  He told me he thought I was the hottest girl in Boulder (which he always told me even till the end). We hung out quite a bit…and then I had to go and be ambitious.  I had decided that year I was going to be completely honest when it came to feelings, so after a couple of weeks I told him I wanted us to be together.  Well, that scared the shit out of him.  After that, he kind of retreated.  Not completely, but enough to the point where I got upset….a lot.  And that is basically how it was for 3 years.  It was always a game of who could piss the other one off more or who could make the other one more jealous.  It was so juvenile!  Because at the end of the day (or week, you know…depending on the circumstance), we’d always go back to one another.  And no matter what we did to piss each other off, and trust me we did some SHITTY things (I hit him in the groin with a half full bottle of Jack Daniels, and would sometimes drive around drunk because I knew he hated it. He hooked up with girls in front of me and would sometimes pick drugs over me ), we seemed to always still have a thing for one another.

Things got really bad around Spring-Summer of ’09, when he started getting heavily into drugs, alcohol, and partying.  I partially blame myself for this because I was the one who introduced him to the people who he participated in the intense debauchery with.  I remember at one point, he was so inebriated he started yelling at a girl who he thought owed him money, but it turns out that he didn’t even know that girl.  I wanted to help him so bad and it hurt my heart so badly that he was turning into this…thing…but there was nothing I could do.  The only people he seemed to even care about at this point was the people who were just as into the drugs, alcohol, and partying as he was.  We stopped talking for a bit when all this was happening because I just didn’t want to deal with it.  But deep down inside, I still cared so much about him.

Eventually, like all things, this phase came to an end and for the most part, he was back to his normal self.  We still did things to piss each other off and try to make each other jealous, but that was normal.  This lasted until the end, when I finally had the last of it and moved on.

Now, I know that whatever we were was not healthy at all…I knew it then too.  And I tried SO hard to get over him, even at one point dating a guy who I didn’t even care for in the least bit.  But I was just so drawn to him.  He truly was like a drug that I was completely addicted to.  In fact, I honestly thought I loved him at some point.  And maybe I did; but they say if you love someone, you love them forever and I don’t  feel that I love him now so….anyways, I finally got over him and truly did want to have a friendship, but as we all know, that never works out.

Now…He moved back to the land of the quarterback/football team who beat my poor Tim Tebow with a record 6 touchdowns in one game.  Apparently he has a “big kid” job out there.  Everything I know about him now is all hearsay, because we haven’t spoken since May of 2011.  But I have heard through a little birdie that he may be moving back here sometime soon.  And while I’m almost certain I wouldn’t go back to him ever again, I also do believe in never saying never.  So I guess we will see what happens….

At least he didn't talk like this....

Date #2: “Babyface”

How We Met: “Babyface” and I practically grew up together.  I’ve known him ever since a year after I moved to CO from the best state in the world (a.k.a. Californ-i-a).  When we were younger, we weren’t exactly friends, because, you know, guys hang out with guys and girls hang out with girls.  That’s just how the cookie crumbles.  But as we grew up, we became friends and saw quite a lot of each other.  When high school came around, we ended up going to different schools and lost touch.  But, of course, with the magic of Facebook we reconnected and started talking and hanging out again.

-Rating:

*Physical Aesthetics: 8

*Appearance: 7

*Personality: 10

*Manners: Started off as a 5-6 but ended up being a 9-10

*Intelligence: 8

*Confidence: 10

*Overall Rating: 8

The Date:  “Babyface” recently moved to Denver towards the end of last year, so I drove down  to his place since I wanted to see it.  This is off topic, but it was awkward driving there since I had to pass by the place where “Box Office Hipster” (this guy I dated at the beginning of last year – loser for sure!) used to live.  I felt like I was going to his place, not “Babyface’s” place.

Anyways, we drove a couple blocks away from his apartment and had drinks at Hamburger Mary’s while we waited for a table at Steuben’s.  I had never been to Hamburger Mary’s before, but as you all know (0r maybe you don’t), I LOVE gay bars.  Love is pretty much an understatement when it comes to anything that has to do with gays/gay bars.  So I had a lovely time at this little joint.  We had a drink and chatted about life – what we were doing at the moment, what we wanted to be doing, Burning Man and how I really should go (I don’t know if I’m cut out for that shit to be honest…).  After about 30 minutes, we finally got called for a table at Steuben’s so we had to slam our drinks and run.  The bartender warned me my drink (a frozen Cosmo) was pretty boozy and that I would definitely feel it – and he was right, especially after slamming it.  So we get to Steuben’s with me already a bit tipsy and we continue to just chat about life.  Like I said previously, we grew up together, so we know a lot of the same people.  We talked a lot about how we think it’s ridiculous how people at our age are rushing into relationships and getting married and having children so fast.  It was nice to talk to someone who completely feels the same way I do about that stuff (no offense to anyone who chooses to do those things – that’s just not our thing right now).  When it comes to that stuff, we both agreed that we wanted to experience life and travel and truly LIVE first, according to what we believe is living.  Dinner was really good and we both had another drink, which pretty much put me at fairly tipsy/borderline drunk.  Towards the end of dinner, I sobered up (thank you H2O) and we went back to his place.

I finally got to see his apartment, which was a nice little place.  I got to meet his roommate and I immediately liked her, especially after I found out she has as much of a crush on Naya Rivera  as I do.  He tried making us drinks with whiskey, sweet vermouth, dry vermouth, and bitters….it fucking tasted like shit.  Initially it was fine, but it had an after taste/kick of straight sweet vermouth at the end.  Disgusting.  So I reminded him I was a bartender and made us French Martinis instead.  Afterwards, we just hung out in his room, listened to music, stalked people on Facebook (hahaha, ya we’re lame), chatted some more about life, and cuddled.  =)

Honestly, it was a perfect date.  I had a lot of fun and truly realized how there are still people out there like me who are super independent and put their aspirations first before settling down with the life that society wants us to have.

*Positives: Seriously, one of the best dates I’ve been on in awhile!  I had a lot of fun just chatting with someone who had a lot of the same views as myself.

*Negatives: Initially he didn’t hold the door open for me (big pet peeve of mine…) and at one point, the door even hit me.  But eventually he started holding doors for me and even opened my car door for me.  =)

Second Date?: Of course!!  I had SO much fun!!  The only problem is I’m not sure what he’s looking for, and I’ve still got 48 more dates to go….

Random: My bad…

Why Leslie, why would you do that?!

So I’ve come to the realization that over the past few years I have made a huge mistake when it comes to men.  Usually, if I am not interested in a guy, I will know right off the bat, or at least think I know – I clearly don’t give many chances, nor opportunity for a chance.  In addition to that, I will usually write him off and show complete disinterest in him in every way imaginable.  I will ignore text messages, be very short/blunt when speaking to him, make excuses for not hanging out, and not make any effort to make him remember me in any such way.  I will, at times, attempt to maintain a friendship, but for the most part it never works out.  Usually the guy continues to want more and will keep trying to win me over, and I simply become too annoyed to continue speaking to them, to the point where I sometimes cannot even look at them without being saturated in annoyance.

But in starting this blog, I have now realized that my cold heart and my ability of disposing of men quickly may be detrimental to my entire project.  Looking through my phone and Facebook  in searching for my next date, I have come across the fact that I cannot call/contact many of the men who once would have moved the world to take me out on a date.  I’ve either blown them off to the point where contacting them now would blatantly show my motives (unless they were stupid enough…;-) ) or I’ve completely torched whatever bridge I had with them.  This, my friends, is a major challenge that I face.

Therefore, I have decided that from here on out (or at least until I am done with my “mission”) I will be completely open minded to any man who crosses my path.  I will give EVERYONE at least one chance and will obligingly go on dates that I know will end up going nowhere.  I will go on dates with men who I cannot stand, men who are not my type, men who are too stupid for words (literally…I’ve met some).  And I will put a big, happy smile on my face – for the sake of the art of writing.  Wish me luck…I’m going to need it.  And maybe a couple drinks too….

Date #1: “Sunshine”

How We Met:  I met “Sunshine” back in college, at the beginning of my freshman year in 2005.  I can’t believe I’m admitting my creeper status here, but I saw him on Facebook and saw that we had a lot of mutual friends from high school, but I didn’t know him.  So I messaged him, friend requested him, and asked him why we didn’t know each other.  From then on we’ve been friends.  When we were younger, we saw each other more on a consistent basis, at some points almost everyday.  I can still remember when he arrived at my house at 6 AM one morning with a case of Keystone because I refused to drink with him the night before, so he felt the need to have a beer with me that morning.  The older we got, the more difficult it was to see each other as consistently as before due to our own lives going in different directions.  We’ve had our ups and downs, but at the end of the day, we’ve always been able to maintain our friendship.

-Rating:

*Physical Aesthetics: 9

*Appearance: 8

*Personality: 10

*Manners: 10

*Intelligence: 10++ (Unfortunately….)

*Confidence: 10

*Overall Rating: 9

The Date: While normally I would consider interactions with “Sunshine” just “hanging out”, this is the first time we’ve ever gone out just the two of us.  And he paid…though I did offer to pay one round of drinks, which he accepted.  We went to a Belgian beer bar by our houses and just caught up on things.  We hadn’t seen each other in maybe over a year, if not longer.  So it was nice to catch up and have a few drinks.  Then we went to another bar and after that, decided to call it a night.

Nothing exciting, right?  Yeah, I’m sorry to disappoint you all in the fact that my first date was not exhilarating with fireworks.  Boo hoo.  But to be honest, I think the interesting thing about this entire date was not the date itself, but what happened at the end.  As we were driving home from the bars, he asked me a question (one which I will not reveal because it’s somewhat personal to myself, not necessarily between me and him).  I brushed it off and told him an answer that I didn’t fully believe myself.  Any other person would have taken this answer and been okay with it.  But no, not him.  Because you see, even though we’re not nearly as close as we were before, he still knows me BETTER than anyone else.  In fact, I can honestly say that he knows me better than some people I consider my best friends.  The fact that I told him one thing and he didn’t believe what I said one bit and called me out on my “lie” is proof of how well he knows me.  It was the one thing that I’ve wanted someone to recognize about me for quite some time now without me having to tell anyone, and he was the only one to recognize it.  I ended up in tears by the end of the night, but that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing.  Just shows that even though two people may live on opposite sides of the U.S. and not speak as often as before, doesn’t mean that they’re not still close.

*Positives: I had fun, he was very polite as always, it was nice being able to just have a drink and talk

*Negatives: He knows me FAR too well…too well for comfort.

Second Date?: I’m always down for friend dates because there is no pressure, so sure!  =)