Tag Archive | Crushes

“I like you. Do do you like me? Check yes, no, or maybe.”

When we were all younger, innocent and naive to the world, we would write notes that said this to the ones we liked on 3-hole punched lined paper (does that still exist??), in hopes that they would check the box marked “yes.”  God, if only life and relationships were really THAT easy…


So this has to be my biggest downfall in dating/relationships, and I’m hoping I am not the only one out there with this issue.  But I HAVE A PROBLEM TELLING GUYS I LIKE THEM.  Seriously.  It’s an issue.

Once upon a time, I used to be really good at it.  After a couple of weeks or so, I would tell a guy just how I felt about him.  Now, I’m not saying I got the response I wanted all the time, but I was at least able to do it.  Now, having been hurt so many times, I’m so scared of ruining whatever is going on with a guy, that I’m too scared to straight up tell a guy I like him and I just continue with whatever is going on at the moment.  Which is both great and horrible at the same time.

Reasons Why It’s Great:

-There’s usually  no drama

-No one is ever angry at the other for misunderstandings

-Going with the flow usually makes things easier and there’s no pressure or expectations

-The “awkward conversation” (as I like to call it) never has to happen

-I never get rejected

Reasons Why It’s Horrible:

-Guys never realize I actually like them (in my head, guys should just assume I like them if I act a certain way around them…stupid I know)

-I end up hurting myself by overthinking things and making things up in my head

-If I talk (a.k.a. flirt) with another guy, the guy I like automatically thinks I’m a whore or that I’m not serious about him which then leads to…

-Him finding a girlfriend.  Who isn’t me.

-Some things go on longer than they ever should

-I never know where I stand with a guy or what I can/can’t/should/shouldn’t do, as far as being able to date other men at the same time or not

-Someone usually gets hurt…and that someone is usually me.


Oh if only real life had a Facebook like button…

As one can see, clearly the horrible reasons outweigh the great reasons.

So what I guess I’m trying to get at with this post is that I need a few pointers on growing some balls and telling a guy I like him.  Ladies, what are some of your tips on telling guys you like them??  Gentleman, how would you like a woman to tell you she likes you?  And don’t answer with, “Just straight up tell him,” because that doesn’t help the situation.  Also, hints and insinuations isn’t the answer here either, considering I do that constantly and still get nowhere.

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!!

Random: *Updates* (Dates #16-23, “Mr. Big”‘s, General)

It’s about time for my post on updates on my past few dates.  Honestly though, it’s not going to be that exciting.  Haha.  Nothing has really progressed or happened with any of my past dates, which is fine.  I haven’t fallen head over heels for any of them, so I’m okay with it.

*Date Updates*

Date # 16: “Almost Birthday Twin”: Well we’re still friends, of course.  About a month(ish) ago we saw “The Book of Mormon” together, which was just lovely.  That’s really about it on him.  haha

Date #17: “Professor”, “Cop”, & “Tow Man: I haven’t heard or seen any of them since my accident, and I prefer it that way.  It means my car is still doing well.

-Date #18: “Flakey”:  After this date he would text me at least once a week to hang out, with me always refusing.  Then I wouldn’t hear back from him after my refusal for at least another week or so.  The last time he tried to hit me up to hang out, and I refused, he at least acknowledged my refusal and sent me a text back.

-Date #19: “Doc”: We’ve seen each other a couple of times randomly out and about at the bars, but after this date, I think he got the idea that things weren’t going to work out between us.  But overall, we’re still okay with one another, so I think this one ended well.

-Date #20: “Dream Maker”: We still speak to each other quite often, at least once a week or so.  Unfortunately, I’ve been busy and so has he with his artist, so we haven’t had a chance to hang out.  He did ask me to come over to cuddle the night before I left for Chicago which was super random and out of the blue, but besides that, it’s been friendly between us.  His artist has a show coming up which he invited me to, so I might just go see his artist perform.

Date #21: “Kooky”: I haven’t spoken to him since this date, and I think that’s for the best.

Date #22: “The Hangovers”, “Oldie”, and “Bartender (1 and 2)”: I haven’t spoken to the former two since the day I met them (obviously) and I spoke to “Bartender 2” when I got back home, apologizing for not having visited him and “Bartender 1” before I left the city.  But I assured him I have every intention to move out there (I really do) so that I’ll be seeing them soon.  =)

Date #23: “Goofy”: Two days after our little “date”, he texted me and apologized for having made things weird between us.  We haven’t spoken since.

*”Mr. Big” Updates*

I’ll make this combined, since it’s not that exciting.  I haven’t spoken to “Mr. Big (Past)” in forever.  After that random night he texted me, I haven’t heard from him since, nor have I made any attempts to speak to him.

As far as “Mr. Big (Present)” is concerned, I figured out why he stopped talking to me yet again…he got a new girlfriend.  This one is a lot better looking than the troll he had before, I won’t deny that.  But she does look a bit like a stripper.  A pretty stripper, nonetheless.  Oh well, what can I do.  Clearly, I am the dumb one in this situation since we always start talking, and then he always stops talking to me at random once he’s found a girl he wants to date.  Which is clearly not me.  We didn’t talk for about 2 months, until I randomly ended up in front of his old house while driving around lost downtown.  I texted him about it, and we started talking again, but really just as friends.  At this point, I truly am over him and am okay with being “friends” if that’s all we’ll ever be.  After him getting a girlfriend yet again, I started feeling used so I decided that I don’t deserve that and want to find someone better.  While I do still think so highly of him, clearly we are not meant to be.  And that’s okay.

Because of these latest happenings with both “Mr. Big”‘s, I don’t think I will be doing an update on either of them, unless something drastic happens and it’s worth talking about.

*Leslie Updates*

I’ve been really off and on as far as wanting to go on dates with men.  Part of me is wanting to go out there and find someone, even if it’s just a plaything that I can tie up and have my way with (I’ll explain more of this in a second).  The other part of me is wanting to just embrace being alone and the fact that I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, without having to worry about someone else’s feelings and without having someone annoy me.  Ha.  Plus, I’m having so much fun just living my own life however the fuck I want to, so why ruin that?

I’ve had quite a few more offers on What’s Your Price, so if anything, it’s kind of a part-time gig that earns me money on occasion, while I enjoy getting to know a person, because honeys, I’m broke as fuck.  I still haven’t really found anyone on that site to really date seriously, but that’s fine with me.

I’m still in love (based off false pretenses) with a guy at my gym that I mentioned in my post “We’re ‘JUST’ Friends (and random sidenotes)” .  I still don’t know his name, and I still have not talked to him.  Yes, I’m the biggest baby around him, clearly.  But we both look at each other every once in awhile, and I’ve noticed him working out in the same area as me more often than not lately…or maybe I’m just making shit up in my head.  Either way, I will try and work up the guts to speak to him soon – he just  makes me feel like a school girl with a little crush.  Blah.

Haha isn’t this the truth….

I met a guy the other night randomly at a bar downtown while attending a friend’s birthday party.  He’s cute, I made out with him, we’ve been texting.  I guess we’ll see where that goes.

“Buddy” is still trying to woo me.  Apparently, we had been dating for a bit and then we stopped.  I told him straight up I wasn’t trying to date one person this year, and that I just wanted to be friends with him, which he seemed to disregard as he still tried after I told him this.  My friend and I proceeded to drunk dial him after he called me, and I think my friend was kind of mean about it.  Anyways, I haven’t heard from him since.

Back to my fantasy of tying someone up and having my way with them, I recently picked up a book called The Siren.  The only reason I bought it was because me and my lovely old roomie had nicknames for each other – mine for her was (is) “Mermaid” and her for me was (is) “Siren”, because I sing.  Anyways, I really just bought the book for the name.  Lo and behold, it turns out to be an erotica book.  But it’s actually REALLY good.  I’m in love with the main character, who is a writer by day, and a dominatrix by night.  Basically, long story short, it’s putting ideas in my head…;-).

And last but not least, I think I have a secret crush.  I’m not really sure…but I think I do.  And that is all I will say about that.  =)  If we go on a date, I’ll write about it.  But that’s all you’re getting out of me on this one.

Random: *Updates* (Dates #9-15, “Mr. Big””s, General)

It’s been awhile since I’ve done an update entry (the first one was in March) so I figured it’s about time that I wrote one!!  I will also include some previous dates (Dates #1-8) if anything has happened since my last update.  But I assure you, my love life is still fairly non-existent so don’t be expecting anything more than that.

*Date Updates*

Date #9: “Interrogator”: Basically, how I ended the entry about him is how “him and I” ended.  I heard from my co-worker “Becky” who had set us up that the following week, he posted on his Facebook that he was having a kid with some girl – not sure if the girl was an ex, a current girlfriend, or whatever.  But yeah, basically the guy was still trying to date other women even though he had a little one on the way.  I think things ended the way they did for the better.

Date #10: “Booze Talker”: He’s contacted me a couple of times to hang out, but either I’ve been busy or we haven’t been in the same area in order to get together to hang out.  I usually hang out in the city since I’m a total city girl, and he likes to keep it close to home in the suburbs, so the likelihood of us hanging out (unless I’m just super bored and in the area) is very slim to none.  He is too scared (not sure why) to come downtown by himself, so it really is a lose lose situation in both cases.  Which doesn’t hurt my feelings whatsoever.

Date #11: “Mr. Too Cool”: After our date, he texted me the next day telling me he had a good time and the next time we hung out, we’d go somewhere where I could get all dolled up.  I agreed that that would be a good idea, but didn’t think it would actually happen.  I was right.  We haven’t spoken since then, and I’ve already deleted his number.  Strangely enough, he told “Miss Pretty Hair” (my dear co-worker who I love to death…we’re soulmates) that he had a wonderful time and apparently made it sound like he was really into me.  But such was not the case, and I am completely okay with that.

Date #12: “Magic Hands”: This seems to always happen with “Magic Hands” when one hangs out with him – after one time of hanging out, he becomes somewhat clingy and continually blows up your phone.  I’m pretty sure he texted me a couple nights a week for about 3 weeks to hang out (a.k.a. go to the bars and get drunk), but it was always on nights that I don’t go out on – so pretty much every night except the weekends.  Eventually he gave up.

Date #13: “Boss Man”: We actually talk quite a bit, but because we’re both in the bar industry and don’t work the same nights, it’s extremely hard to find a time to hang out.  Every time we both have a night off, he’s always busy with something (which I don’t blame him for) and nights that I can go out, he’s working, or something of that sort.  We were supposed to get together sometime this week, but it just didn’t work out.  Hopefully we do hang out soon because I do enjoy hanging out with him.  I did see him last weekend at work, and he texted me after, apologized for being too busy to really have a conversation with me, and told me I looked good that night.  =)  So sweet.

Date #14: “Youngin”: I honestly don’t think I want to hang out with this one on a one-on-one basis again; he’s just too young and completely acts his age (if not younger), despite what people supposedly tell him.  He’s tried hanging out with me a couple of times since, but luckily I’m a busy lady so I haven’t had to make up excuses.  I think all he really wants to do is hang out at a house and get drunk, which I find completely boring, so I don’t foresee us hanging out anytime soon.

Date #15: “Hollywood”: After my little shit show at his place on my birthday, we didn’t talk for about a week.  But I saw him after I came back from vacation at his work.  Initially, it was kind of awkward, and I’m not sure if that was me making it awkward, or him making it awkward, or if we both were making it awkward…but it was awkward.  But after a few minutes, we were back to normal.  I honestly thought he was going to be immature about the whole situation, but we talked about it and he was really cool about it.  He didn’t make any mention of how ridiculous I was, just said that it was my birthday so it was all good.  He did mention how he was happy that I wasn’t mad at him anymore =).  So everything is back to normal…which is good in the sense that we’re fine again, but bad in that the whole no texting business is back as well.  I’m beginning to think that maybe I should just give up on this one instead of perhaps forcing something that’s not supposed to happen.  But I guess we’ll see what happens…the year is still young!!

Date #0: “Flakey”: This guy is seriously something…either he’s really dumb, extremely oblivious, or is a combination of the two.  After I made it (I think) pretty clear that I was irritated, he continued to text me at least once a week to try and hang out.  Finally, one day, I kind of just exploded on him and told him how I really felt.  He then tried making the excuse that it wasn’t anything serious, that we were just hanging out (I have a feeling he was alluding to the fact that I was mad because I thought we were hanging out because I was interested in him…which obviously isn’t the case) and that work is very important to him.  He had failed to mention he was late because of work initially, which if he did, I would have been understanding.  So clearly something is wrong with him.  Even after this, he continued to text me to hang out and eventually, I just stopped responding to his texts since me responding by saying “no” apparently wasn’t enough.  I haven’t heard from him since.

Pretty sure I already have a couple of times here….;-)

*”Mr. Big” Updates*

I was honestly going to forgo this part because for awhile, I hadn’t spoken to/heard from either one of them in awhile.  So I’ll just combine the updates instead of making separate ones.  Absolutely nothing exciting is going on with “Mr. Big (Past)”.  After my last update, things have pretty much stayed the same.  A couple of weeks ago, he texted me very late at night/early in the morning just saying “Sup.”  Seriously??  I didn’t respond and that’s that.  Exciting right?

As of last time, things were kind of weird with “Mr. Big (Present)” and I as far as chatting and what not.  For a while, I felt like I was the one making all the effort to talk (which was never the case before) so I made the conscious decision to stop talking to him for a while.  But at the beginning of this month, we started speaking again after he commented on a picture of mine that I was “frightening”.  Haha.  I completely despise when guys give me too much positive praise (a.k.a. “You’re so beautiful” 10 times in a night…ick), so for him to not know this and do the complete opposite made my day.  I have a feeling him and his troll broke up again, because that’s when our talking usually becomes more fluid.  We’ve been meaning to get together to do a book exchange (yes, we’re nerds), but every time I try to get the book, he diverts conversation to us hooking up which he says in a joking, but serious manner.  It got annoying so I kind of called him out, and we haven’t spoken since.  I’ve tried to get the book, but with no response from him.  Seriously, it’s very love-hate between us.

*Leslie Updates*

Honestly, I’ve been quite the boring person.  I haven’t been really trying too hard to meet any new guys, so in addition to my “man hating” episode, dates haven’t been coming along as freely as before.  Plus, I’ve been working so much that when I do get some time off, the last thing I want to do is go spend it on a date (unless it’s with someone I’m truly interested in to begin with).  My time off is far and few between, so sometimes all I want to do is kick back and put my feet up.  I have seen “Sunshine” and “Perfect Ass”  since our dates, as they are two of my good friends and roll into town every so often.  I think I’m over my “man hating” episode, but I’m not fully back into the dating game so we’ll see how it goes.  Like I mentioned in a few entries back, at the end of this month, I intend on joining a dating website.  Not going to lie, I’m a little apprehensive in that I don’t fully support the idea of dating websites for myself, but I’m going to test it out – see what it’s all about.  And then cross off some dates while I’m at it.  I still fully believe in meeting people in person, but hey, those websites have worked for some so maybe they’ll work for me!  =)

Random: *Updates* (Dates #1-8, “Mr. Big”‘s, General)

So I’ve decided to do updates every so many dates on how everything is going concerning said dates or just in my dating life in general.  A lot of stuff happens that I haven’t really included in my blog since I just write about individual dates and men, so I thought I’d give everyone an inside glimpse to the stuff happening (meeting men, etc.) when I’m not going on dates!!  =)

*Date Updates*

Date #1: “Sunshine”:  After this date, we actually didn’t see each other again.  He’d call me to hang out every once in awhile, but apparently he didn’t think what I was doing was fun, so we wouldn’t meet up.  Last time I spoke to him, he had moved out of state for a job.

Date #2: “Babyface”: I’ve actually spoken to and bumped into “Babyface” a couple of times since our date, but we haven’t really hung out.  The last time I saw him was on St. Patty’s Day.  We just happened to be at the same bar (we were waiting for people, he was looking for his brother).  We tried to hang for a bit, but the chaos of St. Patty’s Day just got in the way and we didn’t get a chance.

Date #3: “Dum-Dum”: To be honest, we haven’t really spoken much or anything since our date.  He chatted me on Facebook maybe a month or so ago, but our conversation was really brief and we clearly had nothing to talk about.  Apparently he was supposed to move to Ohio for a job by the end of March, but didn’t get it.  Besides that, the only thing I know about him is that he is still constantly smoking weed.  Gross.

Date #4: “D-Bag”: This dumbass actually had the nerve to text me the next day to “formally” thank me for giving him and his ugly friend a ride home.  I responded with, “You’re Welcome” and haven’t spoken to him since.  I think I deleted him off Facebook not too long after that.  He claimed to my friend that he didn’t remember anything from that night (can we say alcoholic…) and pretty much brushed it off.  Weirdly enough, he hasn’t really spoken to my friend much since the incident either.  What a fucking pussy.

Date #5: “Meathead”:  He wrote me a message on Facebook about a week ago saying he had lost his phone, gave me his new number, and told me to text him (which I of course did not).  I gave him some lame ass excuse as to how I was busy with work (which is true) and didn’t have time.  Weirdly enough, this past weekend I bumped into him downtown as I was walking towards my car.  He was clearly drunk and looking at me all grossly like he used to when we were together….like the look of “I like you so much.”  Ugh.  Anyways, we spoke briefly, he told me again to text him and reminded me about the message he had sent me on Facebook, looked at me grossly, and we parted ways.  I’m pretty sure he still has lingering feelings for me from back in the day, but that ship has long sailed and passed.

-Date #6: “Ninja Monkey”: We didn’t really talk much after our date.  I would randomly see him at the gym as he was leaving and as I was just arriving, and he would give me a really awkward hug and then leave.  We’ve been seeing each other more at the gym lately and chatting a bit but that’s all.  He knows I’m super busy with work so he leaves it alone.

Date #7: “Perfect Ass“: For as close as we are, we actually haven’t spoken since he left town.  I’m really hoping he gets the job out here so he can move back!

Date #8: “Buddy”: We’ve been chatting a bit since our date.  We’re supposed to hang out tomorrow, so we’ll see what happens!!  This would be the first person I’ve gone on a second date with.  Kinda weird, but kinda cool.  He’s a nice guy.  =)

*”Mr. Big” Updates*

“Mr. Big” (Past):  Weirdly enough, a little less than a month after I wrote about him, he called me really late at night/early in the morning (what’s new…).  I missed the call and didn’t feel the need to call him back.   I thought maybe he was in town, but I’m most definitely over being called at “booty call hour,” even if that’s not what he was trying to do.  We spoke on Facebook chat maybe a week or two after he called me.  He was going to move back out here, but I guess he wants to get into finance so he’s going to stay out there and find a job in that.  He’s working for some medical company in the sales department currently.  That’s really all we talked about.  WE only ever have good conversations in person, so I’m not surprised.  I really hope he doesn’t move back….but that could make for some interesting writing in this blog if he does….

“Mr. Big” (Present):  I started talking to him again this month because I missed not talking to him.  Nothing has really change, although our conversations seem very…I wouldn’t say forced, but not the way they used to be.  Not very flirty anymore, almost seems like we’re both holding back on things to say to one another.  I actually mentioned this blog to him (but didn’t tell him of the contents or that I’ve written about him) and he was very intrigued and really wanted to read it.  I have yet to send it to him, but maybe in time if things change I will.  We’ve really only talked about very trivial things, and I honestly think it has to do with what happened with us and just the situation at hand.  I’m sure we’ll continue with this for quite some time at the rate things are going.  While I still do care about him (why, don’t ask me why…), I’m not holding my breath for anything at the moment.

*Leslie Updates*

And the best update for last….ME!!  Lately, like I mentioned in my last entry, I’ve been feeling pretty lonely and stuck.  I’ve been feeling like everyone else is moving on and finding people, and I’m kind of at a stand still.  But like always, when I feel this way, things always turn for the better.  About 2 weekends ago, I met a bouncer at a club downtown while I was waiting for my friend to get there for her birthday.  We got to talking and I didn’t think much of it, just that he was pretty cute, really nice, and was my age.  Well this past Friday, I ended up at that club and he remembered me =).  So we ended up talking a LOT of the night, just about random stuff.  I then ended up meeting some other guy that same night, at the same club, who was from Bosnia who was FUCKING SEXY.  I got pretty drunk and ended up making out with him and dancing with him.  We’ve been texting since we met so he could be date #9 (perhaps…).  He was kinda a bit too forward for me (such are those Eastern Europeans), so I gave my number to my bouncer to save me if I needed it.  But I ended up ditching the Bosnian and talking to my bouncer for the rest of the night.  I told him to call me, and he said maybe he would (rude) but I could always come visit him at work.  That kind of irritated me, but I went with it.  The next night I ended up being in the area so I went to go see him again, and we talked for awhile again.  This time, we were both definitely more flirty, so hopefully something comes out of it (maybe Date #10?).  I’m most definitely attracted to both men, more so my bouncer because we’ve actually had a legit conversation without being inebriated.  Either way, my lonely feeling has most definitely dissipated.  =)