This is a topic that has been under contemplation for centuries….okay maybe not, but you know what I mean. The age old saying of, “Nice guys finish last.” I briefly wrote about this topic last year, and with it posted a video by the lovely Jenna Marbles, in which she makes some great points about the topic. But today, I am going to enlighten you all with something I came up with on my own. It’s something I’ve been thinking about as of late, since I have (or at least have attempted very greatly) transitioned from being the girl who always wanted the “bad boy” to the girl who only wants the “nice guy.”
So here is my new theory: Girls want the “bad boys” because they know what they’re getting. It’s the “nice guys” you have to watch out for, because you never know when they’re going to turn into an asshole out of nowhere.
You’re probably wondering where I got the idea for this theory. I could make it sound profound, and say I was inspired by a writer such as Sappho with her ambiguous sexuality or even Shakespeare, with all his romantic tragedies. Alas, the real answer is Captain Jack Sparrow from “Pirates of the Caribbean.” Yep. He said the following quote:
“Me? I’m dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It’s the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they’re going to do something incredibly… stupid.”
I’ve simply applied this lovely little quote to the dichotomy of “bad boys” vs. “nice guys” and I think it works out pretty nicely. Here’s the breakdown:
-With “bad boys”, you can always expect them to be bad. You expect them to be a jackass to you and you never expect them to do anything nice. While it’s sad to know that a guy will never treat you right, it becomes expected and you know what you’re getting. They’re mean to you, don’t treat you well, never answer you when you try to contact them, and you’re almost always fighting with them about one thing or another. On occasion out of the blue, they will do something very sweet or actually treat you the way you deserve. And you feel surprised, and a bit shocked, and maybe even honored. But then just as fast as that unexpected bout of niceness came, they’re back to being a complete asshole. This is a guaranteed thing. Example of this: “Mr. Big (Past)”
-With “nice guys”, you really don’t know what you’re going to get. They’re great – they treat you well, are super nice to you, almost always respond to your calls and texts (because in the girl world, we really do associate this with “nice guys”), they make you feel super comfortable and the term “fights” is not one that you use in your vocabulary with this type of guy. You’re 100% convinced you finally found a good one who you don’t have to worry about. But you can never predict when they’re all of a sudden going to turn into a giant asshole. You get so comfortable with them being nice that when they all of a sudden turn into an asshole, it’s a bit devastating – especially to the ego. So maybe, they never really were a “nice guy” to begin with, but they just hid it very well?? Examples of this: “Mr. Big (Present)”, “Box Office Hipster” (I haven’t written about him yet, but I will), “Hollywood” (though I think a lot of his issues is that he’s super insecure)
So yeah, that’s just my new theory about the whole “Bad Boys” vs. “Nice Guys” dichotomy.
But here’s another question I have for you all….why don’t you ever hear anything about “Bad Girls” vs. “Nice Girls”?? I mean, it’s definitely out there, but discussions about it aren’t as prevalent. Why is that??
Just some thoughts….;-)
Jack Sparrow reference. We’re totally soul mates, haha.
Anyway, this is all so true. It’s like how I don’t know what to do with MMM because he’s doing everything right. I’m waiting for the ball to drop and even though we’re in a weird moment right now, things are pretty much good. I’m used to being treated a certain way, so trying to adapt to being treated the way I SHOULD be treated is bizarre and an alien feeling.
And I have no idea why there’s no bad girls vs. good girls thing. Is it because “bad girls” get the rep of being a slut? We could go onto that tangent, even though I don’t believe that “bad” means promiscuous.
Haha I think Johnny Depp is at his hottest as Jack Sparrow!!!
EXACTLY!!! We don’t know what to do or how to feel when they act great, and we’re constantly on edge waiting for something bad to drop!!
You might be right on the whole “bad girls” getting the rep of being a slut (I don’t necessarily believe that it means promiscuity either). It just makes me wonder because there are a bunch of bad girls out there who give the good girls a bad name!!
Because guys don’t care if the girl is nice or bad. They care if they can get between their legs. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s just the way they’re wired.
Okay fair point. But let me ask you this…why is it that guys are always fucking pissing and moaning when a girl screws them over, even when they know the girl is bad?? If they supposedly don’t care, then they shouldn’t be upset when a girl finds someone better.
Because they’re insecure with themselves.
Er, excuse me! i have been reading all the comments and speaking as a man-dude i am very disappointed to have to write that us men-folk do NOT always care about getting between a woman’s legs There have been many occasions when i have been quite happy to place my ‘shang-a-lang’ between a woman’s breasts and once whilst i was holidaying in mexico between a woman’s moustache and beard (i think it may have been her mouth) On the subject of bad guys/good guys i have to agree with whoever Jack Sparrow is (why is he not following my blog as well?!). We are all technically bad guys, just some guys are better at masking it than others. I guess it’s just their particular game plan and for some of them it works. I even knew someone who pretended he was gay for a while and he got loads of ‘poon’. I tried that game-plan too but i hated the music and i didn’t suit hot-pants. But seriously, i did get loads of ‘tang’ whenever i went out clubbing with him and i was probably seen as some kind of ‘challenge’ in the women’s minds because they probably thought i was gay (i happen to like dressing like Simon Le Bon…) I guess i am just creepily crafty and cunning but a man’s gotta do what he’s gotta do cos woman these days are one ‘tough sell’ and the competition is ferocious. Oh, and i can also comment on bad girls/good girls too because most men (and myself) like both but want the same as women do (a mixture of the two). Bad girls seem self-assured and free-spirited whereas good girls seem secure and loving so a mixture of both will always appeal. Anyway, that’s my ‘Dr Phil moment’ out of the way! I’m going for a lie-down now…
Gosh, another entertaining yet serious post from you Sweetness (can I call you that?)!!! I completely agree with you – we all want a mix of both the bad and the good. And I won’t lie, I do love gay men. If a man told me he was gay and really played up to it, I might just fall for it. Maybe my calling in life is to marry a gay man….
Normally only the street-girls of Glasgow call me that but i can make an exception for my lil’ L. Btw, didi you say that you love gay men? That gives me an idea… Er, did you see the clothes Ricky Martin was wearing on TV yesterday?! Yikes! Green with those hips. No way honey! Tssssshk! I’d kick him to the kerb girlfriend! He ain’t all that and a bag o’ chips! Anyway, i’ve gotta get my sweet little tush back on home now cos a double-episode of Glee is just starting and that kid in the wheelchair is found to have been faking it all along for the car crash insurance pay-out. I knew it all along sister!
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