Tag Archive | Boring

“Humdrum”

How We Met:  We met last weekend at a bar in the suburbs.  I don’t usually EVER go to this bar, but “Indian Warrior” (by the way, she started a fashion blog, check it out!) wanted to go out somewhere nearby, so that’s where we ended up.  Every time I’ve gone to this bar, I’ve always bumped into someone I know from high school, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it’s not something I really want to do either.  So I usually avoid it at all costs.  Anyways, since it’s close to where we all live, we all got pretty drunk.  Being the friendly drunk that I am, I started talking to this guy.  He offered to get me a shot so I was game.  I didn’t really think anything special of him.  He just offered to buy me a drink so I hung out with him for awhile.  By this time, I was already pretty drunk and to be honest, I couldn’t even remember his name by the end of the night.  But I gave him my number anyhow.

-Rating:

*Physical Aesthetics: 6

*Appearance: 6

*Personality: 7

*Manners: 9

*Intelligence: 7

*Confidence: 6

*Overall Rating: 6-7

The Date:  Well, I’m just going to go ahead and start this off with why I gave him such low ratings.  He’s not a bad person by any means and it was a lovely date; there was just nothing special about him or the date.  The date was very forgettable and so is he.  Hence the nickname (I couldn’t come up with anything better or anything that really stood out about him).  So there.

Anyways, if I remember correctly, “Humdrum” had called me the night we met right after we all left.  But I couldn’t remember his name so I didn’t want to answer.  He then proceeded to text me the next day and we chatted for a bit.  Basically, after that, he texted me everyday up until our date.  We finally set a day where he would take me out for dinner.  With this, I became a bit apprehensive to go on the date with him based on his response to my response on the restaurant he wanted to take me to (see He Said What?!).  I felt his comment was very out of the blue and insecure (which I called him out for).  And then I remembered back to when we met, and one of the first things he said to me was, “So where is the boyfriend or ex-boyfriend?”  Not exactly the best thing to say to a girl when you’re first getting to know her.  He also tried to get me to hang out with him the day before our date even though we had already set the date and “tried” to compliment me by telling me I was the prettiest girl at the bar that night.  If you know me, “compliments” (yes it’s in quotations for a reason) like that don’t impress me.  They’re very generic and it’s not exactly a compliment when the bar we met at NEVER has any attractive girls – the usual patrons are lazy girls who don’t care about what they look like so they appear to not have gotten ready to go out.  It’s not surprising to see a girl in sweats or pajamas there.  Putting on a bit of makeup and wearing a sparkly top automatically makes any girl the hottest girl at that bar.

So after all of our texting, I wasn’t sure how this date was going to go.  It was snowing somewhat heavily, so I was hoping that maybe he’d bail or something, but he didn’t.  And since it’s been awhile since I’ve been on an actual date, I figured I might as well just go for it.  So I met him at the restaurant that we had decided on, and he was actually fairly different from when he had been texting, which makes me think he was maybe nervous on what to say to me through text?  I guess it’s just more so a lesson to myself that I shouldn’t judge a guy based on the text messages he sends me.  Anyways, conversation went really well during dinner.  We talked about everything from the bar that we met at (apparently he doesn’t go there very often either), to college, to how we both ended up where we are now.  “Humdrum” is part owner of a gym, so we talked a lot about fitness which is nice, since I’m huge into fitness.  It’s funny to hear how the same stereotypical people end up at every gym: the true gym buffs who are there for a workout, the later 30 to early 40 housewives who have nothing better to do with their time than go hang out at the gym, the weirdos who think by just standing on a treadmill you’ll lose weight, and the people who just go to the gym to hit on people or get hit on.  It’s lovely, really.  It was also nice going to dinner with someone who was just as conscious about eating as I was, considering neither of us even touched the bread served to us.  Usually I feel bad when I go out with people if I don’t eat as horribly as they do so I give in.  No worries of that here!!  He’s a fairly big sports fan, so we talked a lot about sports as well.  Overall, dinner and conversation went well.  Nothing too special, but good nonetheless.

“Humdrum” plays hockey and their game had been moved to right after our date instead of the next night.  He wasn’t going to go because we were on a date, but I thought it’d be fun to watch him play so we went to the rink.  He thought I’d be bored, but I actually really enjoyed watching him play!!  Unfortunately, he didn’t play as much as the rest of his teammates because he had broken his stick during the first part of the game and had to go fix it.  But they ended up winning, even though they were down for the first 45 minutes.  By the time the game was done, I was so tired.  So instead of going and drinking with the rest of the team I told “Humdrum” I was leaving and we’d just hang out another time.

He texted me later in the night to thank me for coming to his game and to tell me that we should go out sometime and get all our friends together.  Why?  I’m not sure.

*Positives: He’s nice, a gentleman, easy to talk to, the conversation never stopped, we have quite a bit in common, he’s good company

*Negatives: His initial comments about a boyfriend or an ex-boyfriend in the picture came off as really insecure to me, there was nothing really special about him that stood out to me

Second Date?: He alluded to one, and I went along with it so possibly.  He also did mention that his birthday is this upcoming weekend.  But I haven’t heard from him since last night after texting everyday up until our date.  So we’ll see what happens.

A Retrospective… “Box Office Hipster”

So I really didn’t have any intentions of ever writing about this guy, because he’s not a part of my life anymore and his appearance was so brief that I didn’t deem him worthy enough to grace my blog.  But I know a lot of you had mentioned you wanted some background history on my dating life and this gentleman asshole would actually be considered someone pertinent, considering he was one of the reasons why I started this blog in the first place!!

I'm not even kidding you, this is pretty much exactly how he dressed.....

I’m not even kidding you, this is pretty much exactly how he dressed…not necessarily a bad thing but yeah…

The Story….After graduating college, I was kind of at a loss as to how to meet new guys.  I knew I could always just go to the bars and try to find a guy there, but how lame is that?  Besides, there’s the stigma of finding someone at a bar, and even though some people do in fact find the love of their life at a bar, I wasn’t about to join that crowd.  Around this time, I was still seeing “Mr. Big (Present)” every once in awhile, but I was quickly losing interest since it had been so long with us doing the same thing, with no change whatsoever.  I was to the point where I was over it and I just wanted to find someone else.

Being the social butterfly that I am, I started talking to some of the guys who worked at the box office at my work (I work in the theater district…like Broadway musicals and plays…not the movie theater…).  If I remember correctly, earlier in the year, one of the guys had nervously asked for my number after I had spoken to him once.  It was really cute and he was a fairly good looking guy, so I gave him my number.  That ended up being one of the worse dates ever, with him being super nervous, awkward, and the epitome of insecure.  I mean, the guy went to the bathroom and when he came out he told me, “I’m surprised you’re still here, I thought you were going to leave while I was gone.”  Yep.  He really said that.

But enough with all that.  The guy this post is dedicated to is the friend of awkward boy I went on a date with.  I really never paid much attention to the people at the box office before, but they had renovated things so that the box office would be facing the bar that I make occasional guest appearances at and we could all stare longingly at each other if we all wanted to.  “Box Office Hipster” never really made an impression on me.  I remember having bought a ticket for something from him and him trying to talk to me but I just disregarded him.  He just never stood out and I didn’t think much of him, except he was kinda cute.  But with the renovation and being having a lot of breaks in between shows, I ended up chatting with him on occasion.  It started out pretty innocently, but eventually we began flirting…a lot!  I would even catch him staring at me from across the way on occasion, and while I was creeped out, it was kind of flattering.  But he never asked me for my number or made any indication he wanted to hang out.  So it was frustrating and intriguing all at the same time.

Finally, after two months of chatting and flirting and creepily staring, he asked for my number.  I had been working that night and so had he, so before he took off for the night, he invited me out with him and his friends.  I told him that I maybe would and that I would let him know as soon as I got off.  Well of course I went to meet up with him!!  And I ended up getting drunk.  If I remember correctly, I gave him a lap dance at the bar we were at and proceeded to make out with him a bit.  When last call hit, I knew I couldn’t drive home.  And I started to panic a bit.  I didn’t want to stay at his place since that was the first time we had ever hung out, but it was looking like I had no other option.  Outside of his friend’s place, I kept telling him I couldn’t stay at his place and I tried calling my friend who lived in the area to see if I could stay at his place (turns out I was right in front of his building as I was panicking…shows just how drunk I was).  So I ended up staying the night at “Box Office Hipster”‘s place.  He was a complete gentleman, and even offered to sleep on the floor if it would make me comfortable.

After that night, we were practically inseparable.  He would text me several times a day every single day, from the time I got up till bedtime and would want to hang out as much as humanly possible.  He even got sad/upset when he was supposed to be having a guys night and I didn’t tell him I was at a nearby bar.  Honestly, I was completely overwhelmed.  And I definitely felt smothered at times a lot of the time.  But he was good to me and he liked me, so I went with it.  He had told me I was the first girl he had been excited about in a really long time and that he really liked me.  So of course, I fell for it.   And that’s where I went wrong….

Haha TOTALLY HIM!!

Haha TOTALLY HIM!!

There had been several warning signs that I shouldn’t date this guy.  Right from the get go, he told me that he wasn’t good with relationships whatsoever and he usually got tired of girls after a month or so.  And from there, instead of ending it with them, he would just stop talking to them and would ignore them completely.  That should have been RED FLAG number one.  But clearly I’m an idiot.  He also didn’t have a savings account and didn’t believe in saving money; his belief was that if he earned it, he can spend it however he chose.  He had a weird thing with his image (I’m guessing it was because he was fat in high school and then lost a bunch of weight after) and literally took as long as I did, if not a tad bit longer to get ready.  And when I say get ready, I mean we would just go over to his friend’s place and he’d have to get ready to go there.  With a hat on he looked good…though I soon discovered just how awful he looked without one.  His hair was receding BADLY, and just gross looking.  He thought it was weird that I didn’t wear a lot of makeup and that I wasn’t always 100% put together all the time, because all the girls he had dated in the past wore tons of makeup, always had their hair and nails done, and always dressed up.  He also made a comment that if I lost any more weight, he couldn’t date me anymore.  Yes, he was a bit of a chubby chaser.  Closed minded doesn’t even begin to describe his thought process.  He never saw outside of the box, on anything.  He had a weird thing about being in the spotlight or the center of attention, and hated when any attention was brought onto him.  I’m the complete opposite, so you can only imagine how that went.  He thought sex or anything sexual was the reason why he lost interest in the girls in the past, so with me he didn’t want to do anything whatsoever initially.  It was like 2 weeks before we did anything but make out.  And that’s a long time for me.  Seriously…I could go on even longer than this.  But I won’t bore you all with it.

Anyways, as predicted, after about a month, he became really distant.  It was right after I had called him out for being so closed minded.  Weirdly enough, even with all the red flags going off, I was super upset that we had stopped talking.  I’m not an openly emotional person and usually do the opposite of what other girls do (i.e. girls usually text/call guys A LOT…I don’t at all; girls are always like “Oh I like you so much” and are all over the guy…I just assume the guy knows how I feel and I’m never all over him – in fact, I’m usually distant; etc.), but I started to when he stopped talking to me, telling him I missed him and shit.  What the fuck.  He also owed me some money, so I was very determined to get that back.  Not because it was a lot, just because of the principle.

Where is he now……After about a month or so of us not really speaking and him still owing me some money, he met a new girl.  She was definitely the needy, clingy, whore makeup,  Oh-my-god-I-like-you-SO-much type that he needed.  A girl who didn’t have very many friends nor a life of her own so that all her time could be spent on him.  Oh, and I should mention, she’s definitely large and in charge.  Haha.  Of course, after a month or so of casually dating, they became official and have been together ever since.  I think they even moved in together a few months after they became official.  How lovely.

Big ladies need loving too...

Big ladies need loving too…

What I learned…I realized that “Box Office Hipster” was very similar to “First” in that they both wanted me to be something that I wasn’t.  Luckily, since I had learned the first time around changing myself and who I am was not beneficial to anyone, especially myself, I didn’t change myself for this one.  But I definitely contemplated it, which scared the shit out of me.  I never thought I would do it again, and here I was contemplating it.  I think my experience with this one also further drove the point across that I should find someone who likes me for me, flaws and all, instead of someone who has an idea of what it is they want in their head and tries to make me into that.  Either way, it’s an experience that I am grateful for, and a person that I’m glad to have out of my life for good.

Date #18: “Flakey”

(Note: Refer to Date #0: “Flakey” for the background on this particular date)

So yes, “Flakey” and I finally went on our official date!!  Woohoo!!  Honestly, like I said in my last entry about him, I didn’t want to actually do this date.  But I figured I might as well since it’s been like 2 months in the making.  Plus, I’m running out of men that I meet organically, so why the hell not.  I will go ahead and give him a new set of ratings since he looked a lot better than I thought he would:

-Rating:

*Physical Aesthetics: 7

*Appearance: 8

*Personality: 5

*Manners: 5

*Intelligence: 9

*Confidence: 6-7

*Overall Rating: 6

The Date: So “Flakey” texted me this morning asking me what I was doing today since he ended up taking the day off.  And actually, he’s been texting me A LOT to hang out.  Not sure why after I pretty much told him off.  Anyways, I was apprehensive due to our earlier situation with trying to set this up, but I figured I’d give it a chance.  Why not.  Surprisingly, this time he ACTUALLY answered my texts in time and it didn’t take him an hour to get back to me.  He must have taken what I said to him to heart, because he pretty much forced this meeting today.  I tried getting out of it when he almost flaked (apparently he had forgotten he had a dinner with his sister and her boyfriend), but he pretty much made his schedule work to what I wanted.  Which is very lovely, every girl should have that power over men.  😉  Anyways, we decided to meet halfway (actually what he doesn’t know is this wasn’t halfway whatsoever, it was much closer to my house than he thought) so that our timing would work out.  We ended up meeting at a local restaurant/bar for a couple of happy hour drinks.

We caught up on a lot of things in the short time (an hour…if even) that we got together for.  He lives downtown in a dorm-style apartment complex with a roommate that he can’t stand.  He works for a large insurance company and is pretty much living the “American dream”.  You know what I say to this??  BORING!!!  Haha.  He love his job and the corporate world, he’s not much of a partier anymore (unlike before), and he’s coming to the terms with the fact that he’s “middle-aged.”  Seriously??  Personally, I don’t find mid-twenties to be “middle-aged,” but he seriously made me feel old for a bit there.

I did like the fact that he wasn’t shy about confronting me about calling him out on shit and on him being a total douchebag (seriously, he said straight up that he was).  I’ve found the reasoning to his flakiness, which totally explains the nickname I’ve given him: he’s extremely forgetful.  Most definitely not an excuse, but maybe on our next date (if there is one), I should bring him some Ginkgo biloba.  I guess he just texts a bunch of people who he thinks are willing to hang out and then he ends up making too many plans at a time.  Or he’ll just straight up forget.  Weirdly enough, this is the exact behavior I expect from my “Tinky Winky Pooh Bear” (my bestest friend in the entire world), but she’s my best friend…and he’s not.    So ya that’s his alibi.  He did bring up the fact that he knows how irritated I was the past couple of times that we’ve tried hanging out, and he halfheartedly apologized for being a “douchebag”; which was nice.  He also brought up the fact that it was probably the same reason why we stopped hanging out back in college (gosh he remembers a lot!).  Honestly, I’m just glad that he completely realizes and comes to terms with his downfalls; because he has a lot.

We then started discussing jobs.  While I am not one to judge anyone’s occupation and whatever it is that makes a person happy, let’s just put it this way: I’m more so a dreamer and creative in every sense of the word, while he is more so the 9-to-5, corporate person who is all about the “American Dream.”  He literally made some comment about how everyone should have the dream of an old Victorian-style brick house with the white picket fence, the wife who stays at home to make dinner and the husband who comes home after a day of golf.  In fact, he’s so disappointed at his sister and his sister’s fiance in that that’s not their ideals.  Honestly, it’s a bit ridiculous.  He doesn’t get my lifestyle at all (2 jobs: one part-time desk job and one night time bar job, not wanting a 9-to-5 job (especially nothing corporate), not having the same wishes of the “white picket fence” dream, etc.) and I don’t think he means to, but I think he sees my life kind of as a joke.  Well…at least that’s how I felt.  Like, here’s serious, business oriented, corporate America “Flakey” and then there’s me, a dreamer who doesn’t want to give in to corporate America.

Our date ended after about an hour when he had to leave for dinner.  It was perfect timing because I was beginning to become annoyed.  He did, however, invite me to his friend’s party this weekend.  Will I be attending?  The likelihood is negative.

*Positives: He admitted to being a bit of a douche in that he’s extremely forgetful (a.k.a. flakey), he looked a lot better than I thought he would, he paid for all our drinks like a gentleman should (I did mention that as a girl, I never pay for things and he took the liberty to continue this statement of mine), it was fairly good conversation

*Negatives: He’s still a big flake, we don’t have any of the same ideals when it comes to living life in general, he kept obviously looking at my boobs throughout the entire date, he’s pretty boring…and I mean I’m boring…but not like he’s boring.

Second Date?: Nah.  Unless I’m really bored.  And I feel like putting myself through miserable corporate talk again.