Tag Archive | Strange

Date # 30: “Eccentric Cheeseball”

How We Met:  It’s actually kind of funny how we “met.”  I was at home minding my own business and working on some music (I’ll be posting that here soon once I start recording!) when my phone began to blow up with numerous text messages.  Apparently, “Indian Warrior” and one of our friends were at a Chili’s eating dinner and they thought that I should go on a date with their waiter.  “Indian Warrior” explained to me that “Eccentric Cheeseball” overheard them talking about me dating and how I am part of that site What’s Your Price?, and was immediately interested in what was going on.  To my understanding, they told him he should go on a date with me and got all his contact information for me.  They said he was 29 and that he was interested in going on a date with me.  They sent me a link of his Facebook so I could see his picture, and I thought he was cute so I figured why not.  I eventually sent him a text and we began to talk.  At first, he seemed like a really cool guy, but after awhile, his text messages were EXTREMELY cheesy (some text messages will be posted in He Said WHAT?! so you can all see for yourself).  I was almost wondering if he had thought of the cheesiest lines he could come up with and use them, thinking they were funny.  I’m sure some people would have thought the things he was saying was sweet, but to a no bullshit girl like myself, I wasn’t falling for it.  The only time cheesy is okay is if I already know a guy and I know he’s purposely being cheesy.  Then it’s kinda funny…and maybe cute.  Anyways, we’re both fairly busy people so in trying to find a time to meet up at, we had plenty of time to text.  I really can’t explain to you how cheesy his text messages were…it’s something I would expect from a clingy boyfriend.  So you can only imagine how much I wasn’t looking forward to this date.  But I promised “Indian Warrior” that I would be nice.


*Physical Aesthetics: 9

*Appearance: 9

*Personality: 7

*Manners: 6

*Intelligence: 8

*Confidence: 6

*Overall Rating: 7

(I just realized, I probably should have rated everyone’s common sense as well from the get go.  Oh well…)

The Date: Initially, he wanted us to make a whole weekend night of it…dinner, and dancing afterwards.  While it sounded great, I’d rather spend my weekend nights with my lovely friends having the time of my life; not stuck with a potentially shitty date.  Luckily, because he was so anxious to meet me, we sped up our meeting.  We decided to meet at a Starbucks in a Barnes and Noble, which I thought was a lovely idea since I love both Starbucks and Barnes and Noble.  As I was parking and walking to the Starbucks, I noticed a guy walking by me that looked like “Eccentric Cheeseball” and it was indeed him.  I most certainly thought he was attractive physically, dressed well and in good shape.  We introduced ourselves then he had me walk with him to his car to put some books away.  He had me hold one (even though he didn’t need help holding the books and didn’t bring it into the Starbucks with us…not sure why I was holding it to begin with) called The Female Brain.  While there is nothing wrong with reading up about the opposite sex (and granted, I was basing my judgment on the name of the book), I saw this as a HUGE red flag in that he could quite possibly be one of those people who read a bunch of books  about the opposite sex and believe what they say, but have no tangible experience themselves on the topic.  I brought this up with him, to which he retorted reasoning that he enjoys reading psychological books such as that.  This then later on lead to him discussing the fact that he has over 70 hours in “non-scholastic psychological study” and he continued to remind me throughout our entire date how psychologically sound he was.  Funny thing is, he brought up the fact that he doesn’t even have his associate degree, and that he’s one math class away from finishing that.  Considering the fact that I have a few friends who studied psychology in college and have one friend who is in the process of getting her doctorates, this made me chuckle deep down inside.

We went inside to sit down at Starbucks and he asked me what I wanted.  Weirdly enough though, after asking me what I wanted, he didn’t even offer to pay.  I’m not saying I need every guy to pay for me, but if you’re going to ask me what I want, shouldn’t you be paying?  Anyways, we then further discussed other topics.  Honestly, our entire conversation was so psychologically based, but not in an intellectual way whatsoever.  I felt like he was trying to amateurishly analyze me the entire time.   He then asked me what my favorite animal was.  While this wouldn’t be weird in any other situation, he said that whatever animal I picked would describe my personality completely and how I am as a person.  Again, back to the whole constant analyzation of me as a whole.  He made some other weird comments, such as not consuming anything he wants but only something he needs (in this case, apparently his only needs are water and chicken).  He then contradicted himself thereafter when I asked him if he ever goes out on the weekends and has drinks with his friends, to which he replied yes.  Well as we all know, alcohol is not a need (well…unless you’re an alcoholic, I guess).  He mentioned that he was really social and had been so since a young age, and that he used to be teased because he was so confident, or social, or something of that sort.  He was fairly loud and animated when trying to describe something, and I wouldn’t have been surprised if some people were looking at him thinking “What the fuck…”  Anyways, in a nutshell, this guy either had really strange social experiences, or wasn’t as experienced socially as he claimed to be.  Because he was weird as fuck!  In fact, our topics and conversation were so strange that I will list a couple of the topics here:

-A woman’s menstrual cycle and how it can lead to cancer because it’s not natural for a woman to have a period

-What our purpose of living was and why we each thought we were put here in this life

-Wants vs. Needs and which one is worth satiating (or not)

-How no one in the world has ever had an original thought

While none of these topics are too extreme, for a first date it’s a little too much.  The best part of our entire date was when he found out I was writing a blog about dating.  He had mentioned that he had overheard my friends talking about me trying to date 50 different guys this year and he asked what number he was.  I’m a dumbass (or maybe not) and assumed he just knew about my blog from my friends, so I started talking about it and told him what number he was.  We then started talking about dating in general, and I talked a lot about posting about dating and how a lot of my dates were interesting, to say the least.  He then began to put two and two together.  Apparently, he didn’t know about my blog until I had mentioned it and just thought I was dating around.  He  then asked me if I wrote about every date I went on and had a bit of a worried look on his face, to which I responded “No, I only write about some of them” (haha, sucker).  He made it sound like he had a lot of experience in dating, but his actions and demeanor around me told me otherwise.  I almost felt like he was trying to overcompensate for his lack of social skills by trying to impress me with his “astounding knowledge” of psychology.  I could go on and on and on about how ridiculous this date was all-together but I’ll just leave it at this.  Luckily I had to go to work that night, so I only had to spend 2 hours with him, which was really far too long.

*Positives: He was physically attractive, in shape, plays soccer, is actually (or at least seems to appear) pretty smart, engaging (in a strange way, but nevertheless engaging), dressed well

*Negatives: He was a fucking weirdo, to say the least, analyzed me the entire time, talked about a lot of stuff that shouldn’t be discussed on a first date, didn’t even offer to pay for my drink, sent me the weirdest text messages (don’t forget to check out He Said What?! for the ridiculous messages he sent me), enjoys partying in the suburbs (seriously, his favorite “night club” is in the suburbs), kept calling me “Sweetie” before we had even met, and has nothing whatsoever going for him in life,

Second Date?: Haha, I highly doubt it.  I think he got the idea that I wasn’t into him.  Plus I haven’t gotten any cheesy fucking text messages since our date, so I think it’s safe to say a second date is not in our future.  Maybe he should psychoanalyze himself and how he presents himself to others before he starts analyzing other people.  Just a thought…

Date #23: “Goofy”

Note: This wasn’t supposed to be a date in any way, shape, or form, but in some sense turned into one.  I seem to have a lot of these pseudo-dates, especially as of late.  Weird.

How We Met: We had a piano class together I think my junior or senior year of college.  Neither of us ever practiced, we always sat in the back, and our teacher (in my opinion) wasn’t too fond of us.  We started talking because of this.  We honestly never hung out outside of class and after graduation, we would occasionally speak on Facebook.  But that’s about it.  Keep this in mind while reading the rest…


*Physical Aesthetics: 6

*Appearance: 6

*Personality: 5-6

*Manners: 8

*Intelligence: 6 (but I couldn’t really gauge)

*Confidence: 4

*Overall Rating: 5

The Date: So like I previously stated, this was not supposed to be a date in any way.  “Goofy” had messaged me on Facebook awhile back that he was coming into town for what is called The Rocky Mountain Showdown and that we should hang out while he was in town.  I’m a friendly person so I agreed to this.  He started texting me when he got into town and it turns out he was staying at a hotel a couple blocks away from my work so I told him to come visit me at work if he got the chance.  And this is where things went sour.

He came into visit me, which was sweet, but he literally stayed at the bar the entire time.  On top of that, he was texting me the entire time I was working.  I was cocktailing that night in the back so it was obnoxious to have him text me every 5 seconds asking something.  I’m not really sure why he stayed the entire time I was working because I honestly thought he was just stopping by to say hi and then meeting up with his friends.  Anyways, we got to talking about what we were going to do that night and a co-worker and I had decided we were going to watch another one of our co-workers DJ at some bar a couple blocks away.  He said that he was meeting up with his friends, but then halfway through the night decided he was going to tag along with us (I guess I made the mistake of inviting him?).  I thought this was kind of strange because he completely changed his plans with them to hang out with me, and as I said previously, we had NEVER hung out outside of school before and I graduated college 3 years ago.  So he decides to go grab some food while I’m finishing up at work and I swear, before my shift was even over, I get a call and a message from him.  Seriously?  He knows I’m not going anywhere and that I’m meeting my co-worker at work, so I’m not sure what’s with the incessant blowing up my phone situation.  I get off of work, and he’s literally just waiting for me outside of my work.  So I make him come in while I’m getting ready.  I start complaining how my co-worker who I’m supposed to meet up with is late and I’m wondering out loud where he is, and “Goofy” makes the comment, “Sounds like you have a crush on him,” and then under his breath, “That’s a problem.”  What.  The.  Fuck.  I tell him that I don’t have a crush on him and that we’re all just supposed to hang out so I’m wondering where he is.  He starts kind of arguing with me about it, saying, “No it sounds like you like this guy” (and even if I did, why should he care?).  So I begin to explain how all of us at work are pretty close and we all love each other so damn much, so if anything it’s like a loving little family.  Not sure why I even had to explain this, but I did.

So we start heading down to this other bar because my co-worker decided we were just going to meet there instead.  On our way down, I passed by my favorite night club and of course, “Hollywood” was working.  I’ve kinda been avoiding him for some time now just because he’s been so mean to me, and in doing so, I’ve realized I don’t like him more than a friend anymore (for now…).  So because of this realization, I’m 100% okay with him as a person again.  I told “Goofy” we had to stop by (because it was on the way to the other bar) and he mentioned something about liking to find conflict.  Again, another weird comment.  I dismissed this and kept on going.  We stop by “Hollywood”‘s work and I have him do a quick, final outfit check (remember, we’re just friends now, and I’m already comfortable with him so why not).  I was dumb and wearing a red bra and a sheer white top, so I had him make sure it wasn’t obviously see through.  This apparently irritated “Goofy” enough for him to make a comment about it, so I dismissed it and told him “Hollywood” was gay.  Hahaha.

We finally arrive at our destination, and everything was fine.  He got along well with my co-worker and my co-workers friend.  We had a couple of drinks, listened to our other co-worker DJ (for like 5 seconds because we waited for forever and he didn’t start till the very end and we got impatient) and then headed out to another bar.  My co-worker and his friend decided to go to one bar  but I wanted to go to another, so I did as I pleased.  By this time, I was honestly wondering if “Goofy” had completely blown off his friends, because he kept saying they were meeting up with him but they still hadn’t shown up.  So we go and sit at the bar (really, just so I can say hi to “Boss Man” and get some water because I needed to get away from “Goofy” stat!) and just start talking.  I honestly cannot remember how we got on the topic, but he mentioned that girls in Arizona are hotter.  Which is fine, whatever.  Then I made some comment about how yeah, at the bar we were at there weren’t very many pretty girls and that (here’s where I got “cocky bitchy” as I like to call it…it happens sometimes when I’ve been drinking) I thought I was the prettiest girl there.  To this comment, he replied, “You’re hot, but you’re definitely not the hottest.”  Clearly, the fucker doesn’t know me because I was (half)kidding and I wasn’t meaning it to be arrogant, it was seriously a joke.  Anyways, my “cocky bitchy” self decided to take offense to this and I started talking about how I’ve gotten some of the hottest guys around so I don’t know what he’s talking about.  He took this as me being insecure and started telling me that I have insecurity issues.  Oh, if only the fucker knew…anyways, then shit kinda hit the fan, I called him out on being a fucking weirdo and making comments about me having a crush on my co-worker and what not.  He totally tried to back track, claiming he never said that and I was making shit up, yet I was 100% sober when he said that, and he was already drunk.  Basically, we argued about dumb shit for a good 30 minutes or so.  He kept bringing up the word “friends,” as if we were so close or something (refer back to my opening statement about this) and kept assuring me he wasn’t just trying to take me home and hook up with me for one night.  Again, What.  The.  Fuck.  Just all around.  Finally, his friend showed up, I excused myself to go to the bathroom, then got the fuck out of the bar.  He tried texting me to find me, but I just told him I went home and to have a good night.

*Positives: He’s a nice guy, complimented me all night, bought me a couple of drinks, had very good manners

*Negatives: He doesn’t seem to know the definition of what a “friend” is, he clearly has some jealousy issues, he’s clingy, we didn’t have much to talk about…like really talk about

*Second First Date?: I don’t think so.  I know he wants to hang out again before he leaves and was practically begging me to hang out pretty much the entire weekend, but after last night I’m hoping he just hates me.  It’d be better that way.

Date #21: “Kooky”

How We Met:  We met through the dating website What’s Your Price.  I hadn’t been having much luck on the website, even though my last date that I met on there, “Dream Maker” was AWESOME!!  I just hadn’t been getting a lot of “winks” (as they are called) on the website and when I did, they were men from other states.  Now, as much as I would love to fly out to another state to be paid to hang out with someone, it’s still a sketchy situation.  Anyways, “Kooky” winked at me, I gave him my offer and that was that.  We discussed when we would both be available, I suggested a place, and it was set.  Initially, like almost every other date I’ve been on, I was apprehensive to go on this one.  My apprehension with this was that he was older than me…much older.  49.  Being in my mid-twenties, that’s a bit of an age gap.  Having an affinity for younger men (yes, I rob the cradle, fucking deal with it), this territory was certainly new to me.  And while the oldest guy I had ever gone for (before this date) was 12 years older than me, this was still extremely different.  Especially considering I did not meet him in person.  Anyways, yes I was interested to see what would come of it.


*Physical Aesthetics: 8 (for his age)

*Appearance: 5

*Personality: 5

*Manners: 6

*Intelligence: 5

*Confidence: I’ll say 7 but really it’s more so N/A (I really couldn’t gauge)

*Overall Rating: 5

The Date:

Since I hadn’t gone on a date in SO long (my own doing, really), I figured I should probably go out with this guy before I went on my vacation.  I really needed to pack which is why I took the night off from work, but I got most of it done pretty early so I decided to not bail on this date.  “Kooky” left the decision up to me as to where we would meet, so I had him meet me at a bar that I had really been wanting to go to for awhile.  It’s a speakeasy style bar and I just LOVE those types of bars, so I figured what better way to experience that place than with a new person!

I got there before him, so I got us a table.  And the most awkward thing happened…sitting at the table right next to me…and when I say right next to me, I mean I could hear his conversation with the person he was with, was a guy I went to high school with and traveled to Europe with in high school.  It took me a minute to realize it was him, but when I did, it was most definitely awkward.  While it takes a lot to embarrass me (I do a good job of embarrassing myself on a regular basis so it’s almost normal to me now), this situation did in the sense that the guy I was meeting up with was not only a guy I met online, but a guy who is almost twice my age.  We both acted like we didn’t recognize each other though which was wonderful.  “Kooky” finally arrived, and (thank god…maybe not, I don’t know?) he looked just like his picture on his profile.  I’ve heard so many horror stories of people not looking the same in person as they did in their profile picture, so I feel lucky to have had similar aesthetics in both profile and in person for the two people I’ve met online.

Honestly, I’ve had some really bad dates (as I’m sure you can/have read in my past posts), but this one was pretty bad.  He was a nice guy, but we had NOTHING to talk about.  There were moments where there was an awkward lull in conversation, and I literally had to think of anything I could to initiate conversation once more.  I felt that it was me doing most of the talking and him kind of just answering.  He works as the manager of a facility which deals with senior citizens with mental disabilities.  His company helps aid these disabled citizens in finding homes, jobs, etc.  This is most definitely an admirable job, but I felt that he himself could perhaps use the help he is giving to these people.  The way he spoke to me and just spoke in general was very strange…I’d say eccentric, but it was beyond that.  It was almost as if he had a mental deficiency himself.  But he did graduate from Dartmouth so I’m not too sure what to think of that either.  The conversation was very forced the entire time and we had NOTHING in common.  Basically, if I liked something, he hated it.  We talked a lot about alcohol and drinking (I’m a bartender, that shit always comes up), and he pretty much hates every alcohol I like.  I love vodka and whiskey, he likes gin.  Seriously??  Nothing in common.  I hate to blame the age gap, but I’m going to go with the probability that a lot of it has to do with him being almost twice my age.

We finally found common ground on the next bar that we went to (which ironically is the same bar/restaurant that I went to with “Almost Birthday Twin”) when we started talking sports.  While we still weren’t into the same sports (he loves football and nothing else really, I love basketball), the conversation flowed much better when talking about this.  At one point I had to pee, so I left my drink at the bar (duh).  Honestly, I was terrified he was going to roofie me (yes I can be a bit of a hypochondriac), so I set my beer up in such a way that I would know if it was touched when I got back.  And I really did think my beer moved and that he had roofied me when I got back.  But I never blacked out so I guess not?  Haha.  Anyways, the night ended about 2 1/2 hours after it started, with a nice little bonus at the end ($$$).

*Positives: He was a nice guy, he looked like what he did in his profile picture, he paid for everything (but I’m not sure if that’s a positive considering the website says they have to)

*Negatives: We have absolutely nothing in common, he’s weird as fuck, he’s old, I think he may have his own mental disability…honestly I could go on and on and on…

*Second Date?: Ya, I don’t think so.