Tag Archive | Finding The One

In Retrospect….

newyear

As the year ends, so does my goal to go on a date with 50 different guys.  I only made it to 34 (ish, it’s technically 35 if you count my potential “TOWWETB” – I’ll write about him in the new year).  Boo.  I hate when I don’t meet my goals.  But through this journey, I’ve learned a lot of lessons – about dating, relationships, men, and myself in general.  I’ve gotten back into writing with this blog, which was one of my main goals for the entire year.  Writing this blog has made me realize so many things that I either refused to acknowledge in the past or just didn’t know about, and for that I am thankful (maybe this should have been a Thanksgiving post, with me being thankful and all….).

And I think the one thing I am most grateful for is all of you wonderful, lovely, beautiful people who have been following my journey this entire year!!  🙂  Without you, my blog wouldn’t be what it is today.  I honestly never expected my little idea of dating a bunch of guys to turn into what it is now.  You’ve all given me the motivation to keep on writing and keep on dating and staying strong in times where I thought I would just give up.  I am so thankful for you all and I do hope you all continue to follow me in the future (just fyi, I am keeping the blog, but changing it a bit).  I feel I have made so many new friendships through this blog (I think you all know who you are :-)) and I am also very grateful for that!!

The reason my blog started...my inspiration, if you will

The reason my blog started…my inspiration, if you will

So here is a list of the things I learned throughout my journey in dating….

  • Dating is FUCKING exhausting.  It takes lots of planning and preparation, not to mention time.  Lots of time.
  • Online dating and I do not get along.  At all.  It’s awkward, I’m awkward on it, and everything is just awkward.  Granted, I chose a site that was a bit different than the norm.  But I still didn’t like the experience.  To me, it’s too superficial.
  • Before this blog I was extremely picky.  I realize there was a good reason for this…
  • But with that being said, sometimes in giving a chance to a guy that I would never usually give a chance to was eye opening and made me think twice about/before rejecting a guy. (“Boss Man”)
  • It’s silly to put all your eggs in one basket if things aren’t 100% clear.
  • My intuition with men is almost always right
  • Patience.  It’s something I personally don’t have, but something I’m going to need to make something work.  Kind of goes hand in hand with that first thing I mentioned.
  • Guys are just as nervous/awkward as girls about dating.  Sometimes even more.
  • Guys have just as much of a problem and questions about dating as girls do.
  • I send mixed signals…not on purpose, but because I get scared of being hurt.
  • There’s a possibility that I am just way too busy to be in a relationship (as pointed out to me by “Ninja Monkey”)
  • Being set up on a date with someone is probably one of the worst possible ways to  meet someone.
  • Sometimes you’ve got to take a risk and make yourself vulnerable in order to find someone.
  • Just because someone has a girlfriend/boyfriend, doesn’t mean they’re completely monogamous or off limits.  Stay away from these types of people.  They are bad news. (a.k.a. “Mr. Big (Present)”)
  • I can fully attest that I am a now a firm believer of that quote saying that sometimes the right person is in front of you the entire time, but you don’t realize it till later.  5 years later, in my case (fingers crossed).  I’ll write more about this one later…:-)
So true.  It's something I really need to live by.

So true. It’s something I really need to live by.

So I’m probably going to go on a small hiatus from writing in the New Year.  I need to figure out exactly what I’m going to do with my blog, catch up on everyone else’s blog (sorry for the neglect!), and figure things out in my life outside of dating that need to be settled.  But don’t worry, I can’t stay away for too long – there are too many men out there for me to write about still!!  😉

Random: Why I Have Yet to Find “TOWWETB”

This was a topic suggested to me by New Single Guy (thanks for the suggestion!!  =) ).  In a nutshell (or you can just refer to my post “Whooah, (I’m) halfway there…”  in the comments section) he was curious as to what my thoughts were on why I’ve made it to 25 dates and have found something wrong with each of them.

If I forgot what I wanted and just went for what I deserved, I’d be the most miserable person in the world. So no. No, thank you. Whoever came up with this saying is a dumbass.

I’m going to start off this post by admitting that there are actually some guys that I’ve written about that I do/did like and would have actually considered dating.  For example, and maybe my post about him didn’t make this clear but, I thought “Boss Man” was actually really awesome and I was surprised at how much I could actually see myself dating him.  The only issue with him is that when it comes to being a workaholic, he takes the cake.  I look at myself being a workaholic, and then I look at him and he beats me by 100%.  That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it is when neither of us have time to even get together to hang out.  We’ve been trying to find time to hang out, but he’s now working 6 days a week till about 3-4 am everyday, which means he sleeps during the day.  It’s a bit difficult to find time in that situation.  Another person I would date is “Perfect Ass” ; his mom has even made mention before on how she wishes I would date him.  The only issue with that is he lives in another state (and now has a girlfriend).  Plus, I dated his friend “Dolphin Teeth” for a year off and on, so that may or may not make things awkward (not for me, but for him maybe, or “Dolphin Teeth”…not that I give a shit about him).  Also, I’m so close to him and his family, if something happened between us that wasn’t good, I wouldn’t just be losing a friend, I’d be losing a bunch of friends. And of course, “The Artist”.  I would love nothing more than to have a chance to date him and ge to know him better.  Only problem is, he lives in New York.  And I’m not about to do long distance with someone I barely know.

But enough about them.  Here is a list of reasons why I think I’ve made it to 25 Dates without having found “The One Who Will End This Blog”:

1.) I’m Very Picky: Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those people who will completely write someone off because they’re not “perfect” or because they don’t fit every single thing I desire in a man.  But at the same time, I’m not going to go for a guy just because he’s good to me, takes care of me, or treats me well.  Call me cheesy, but as the saying goes, I won’t settle for anything less than butterflies.  If a guy doesn’t entice me, doesn’t make me take notice, doesn’t make me feel like I just want to jump on him every minute (okay maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but you get my point)…then why should I date him?  I’ve settled in the past and it was the most miserable I had ever been.  Chemistry is extremely important to me and I won’t settle for anything less than that.  A guy can have all the qualities I desire, but if I don’t feel that chemistry, I just can’t do it.  This is extremely important to me, so I think this is the main reason as to my inability to find “TOWWETB”.

2.) I’m Scared: I think deep down inside (or maybe in a shallower area of my body), something in me is scared….terrified of finding “TOWWETB”.  I know that doesn’t mean I am stuck for life and that I have to marry the dude and live happily ever after with him, but I think I’m still scared.  Just like every other female in the world, I over think things.  What if he ends up being the wrong guy for me altogether and I end up wasting precious years of my life with him when I could have been playing the field?  What if he turns out to be the right guy and I never kiss/fuck another guy in my life again?  What if I turn out to be like a lot of people I know and end up just settling for him, even though deep down inside I don’t even really like him that much? (ha, that one would probably never happen)  What if the right guy DOES come along, but I’m dating Mr. Wrong and I don’t get my chance?  What if something much better comes along and for some reason I can’t get out of whatever it is with the guy I’m with?  So many “what if’s” and I know it’s silly to think that way, but I can’t help it.

Yep. Haha.

3.) I’m Very (probably too) Independent: I know every girl likes to think they’re independent and say they’re independent, but I seriously am to the very extreme.  Sometimes, the mere thought of having to see someone or talk to someone everyday sickens me.  Granted I’ve done it in the past with people I like and definitely had issues with it, but I got used to it.  Still.  There are moments where I think, “Fuck, do I SERIOUSLY have to hang out with them everyday, and if not everyday, at least a couple of times a week?” I love my independence, perhaps a bit too much.  I like the idea of not having to answer to anyone, of not having to worry about whether I’m upsetting someone by my actions, not having to feel I’m being tied down in any way whatsoever, being able to do whatever I want, whenever I want.  I also really value my alone time.  Especially as of late, I’ve really just wanted to be alone.  Since I’m so busy, having alone time is very far and few between, so the last thing I want to do is spend my alone time with someone else.  Ew.

4.) I’m Having Too Much Fun Being Single: I’ve gotta say, being single is pretty damn fun!!  Again, going back to the independence thing, I like the fact that I don’t have to answer to anyone, that I don’t have to feel obligated to hang out with someone, that I’m not required to talk to someone everyday and if I don’t, their feelings are hurt…just the little things like that.  Plus, I have a lot of guy friends.  I know all girls say that, but when I say I do, it’s so many that when I date a guy they’re a bit intimidated by the fact that most of my friends are guys.  And I’m not about to drop my friends just because of some guy I’m dating.  Lastly…being single means lots of free booze.  I’m sure if I was with someone I’d still get free booze, but being single it’s guaranteed.  Don’t get me wrong, I will buy myself a drink if need be, but half the time I’m being told to put away my card or cash.  So really, it’s how I survive life. 

5.) I’m Competitive: This reason has everything to do with my blog.  Being a competitive person, if I set myself a goal that I know is achievable, or even a bit harder than achievable but still achievable, I will get to my goal.  Nothing can stop me.  I put myself in this mindset and become so determined.  It’s like a competition against myself.  So this blog is kind of a win lose situation for me.  While I do eventually want to find someone, it’s still a numbers game and I have yet to get to that goal number.  Maybe I will look back once I’m done (If I finish, I’m so fucking behind…) and realize one of these guys actually was “TOWWETB”.  Or maybe I’ll just find him along the way.  =)

I love this one =)

Random: “Whooah (I’m) halfway there….”

OOHHHH, LIVIN’ ON A PRAYER!!!!  (Ha, I had to.)

So yes, I am finally halfway to my goal of 50 men by the end of the year.  Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately), I have yet to fall (fall hard, that is) for any of them.  While there have been plenty of guys who seemed like winners, I was able to find something about them that really rubbed me the wrong way.  I’ve also come across some very interesting men who, if I hadn’t started this blog in the first place, I would never had had the chance to…..experience, for lack of a better word.  This blog has definitely given me the opportunity to broaden my horizons when it comes to men and has given me some insight on dating in general as well.

I guess know I’m a little late in getting to 25, since if I wanted to be on time with the year, I should have completed 25 dates by June.  But I have every intention of finishing this out and completing my goal of 50 men.  Unless I find “The One Who Will End This Blog.”  Which at the moment, is highly unlikely.  Is that good?  Bad?  Neither?  Who fucking knows.  All I know is that I’m extremely competitive, and right now, my main goal is to get to 50.  But don’t you worry, if I DO find “TOWWETB” (refer to above), I will most definitely be stopping my 50 dates and turning this blog into something else (most likely still date related).

I should be on this show.

But with that being said, I think this is a sign that I am still not ready to settle down in any way.  Considering the fact that I have gone on 25 dates this year without happily settling down with one of them (yes, there have been some that I definitely considered dating, but it obviously didn’t work out), it’s safe to say that I am still on the prowl for my next victims dates.  I’m trying to line up a few through What’s Your Price, although the website overall has proven to be completely ineffective for me in finding good, quality men (except for “Dream Maker”, we actually still talk a lot, just haven’t gotten around to hanging out again).  I’ve decided recently that “Mr. Big (Present)” is out of the picture for good (for now)- I just don’t have any interest in him anymore.  But he always has a way of coming back…which is why he’s “Mr. Big”!  I do have a few prospects though (maybe): a guy that is temporarily working at my work who is in town only for another couple of weeks, my gym crush who I still haven’t spoken to…but I do stare at him daily and just admire, a few other friends of friends who I haven’t gotten around to contacting because I’ve been…well, just lazy really, and I’m sure I’ll find a way come up with some more.  There’s also my “Secret Crush” who I’m still not saying anything about other than he’s a secret.

So in conclusion, I’ve still got 25 different men to date in order to complete my goal.  Will I fall for one of these 25?  Or will I end up realizing that one of the first 25 was actually the one for me?  Or even worse (or better, however you take it), will I not end up with anyone at all??  Stay tuned!!!  😉

This is totally random…but this is my current celebrity crush. I want him. I want my future husband to look like him. If someone can find him for me and convince him to date me and sing love songs to me all day, I would be the happiest lady alive. Just putting it out there.

Oh and I guess that wasn’t the conclusion really haha.  But taking a cue from Are You Friggin’ Kidding Me? (check out her blog if you haven’t already, it’s pretty awesome!), I want you all to “choose your own adventure,” as she puts it.  Only I’m not giving you all prompts haha.  I’m running out of ideas for things to write about between dates, so I’m giving you all the opportunity to tell me what to write.  What do you want to hear from me?  Is there something you want to know about me?  About my dating life?  About what the fuck is wrong with me and why I can’t find a guy?  About how I’m cursed in dating?  Is there something you’re dying for me to write about and you’ve wanted me to write about it this entire time, but I just haven’t hit the topic?  If there is something, please, please, please….let me know.  =)  If I like the idea enough, or if I get lots of responses on the same topic, I’ll write about it!!  =)