Tag Archive | Chili’s

Date # 30: “Eccentric Cheeseball”

How We Met:  It’s actually kind of funny how we “met.”  I was at home minding my own business and working on some music (I’ll be posting that here soon once I start recording!) when my phone began to blow up with numerous text messages.  Apparently, “Indian Warrior” and one of our friends were at a Chili’s eating dinner and they thought that I should go on a date with their waiter.  “Indian Warrior” explained to me that “Eccentric Cheeseball” overheard them talking about me dating and how I am part of that site What’s Your Price?, and was immediately interested in what was going on.  To my understanding, they told him he should go on a date with me and got all his contact information for me.  They said he was 29 and that he was interested in going on a date with me.  They sent me a link of his Facebook so I could see his picture, and I thought he was cute so I figured why not.  I eventually sent him a text and we began to talk.  At first, he seemed like a really cool guy, but after awhile, his text messages were EXTREMELY cheesy (some text messages will be posted in He Said WHAT?! so you can all see for yourself).  I was almost wondering if he had thought of the cheesiest lines he could come up with and use them, thinking they were funny.  I’m sure some people would have thought the things he was saying was sweet, but to a no bullshit girl like myself, I wasn’t falling for it.  The only time cheesy is okay is if I already know a guy and I know he’s purposely being cheesy.  Then it’s kinda funny…and maybe cute.  Anyways, we’re both fairly busy people so in trying to find a time to meet up at, we had plenty of time to text.  I really can’t explain to you how cheesy his text messages were…it’s something I would expect from a clingy boyfriend.  So you can only imagine how much I wasn’t looking forward to this date.  But I promised “Indian Warrior” that I would be nice.


*Physical Aesthetics: 9

*Appearance: 9

*Personality: 7

*Manners: 6

*Intelligence: 8

*Confidence: 6

*Overall Rating: 7

(I just realized, I probably should have rated everyone’s common sense as well from the get go.  Oh well…)

The Date: Initially, he wanted us to make a whole weekend night of it…dinner, and dancing afterwards.  While it sounded great, I’d rather spend my weekend nights with my lovely friends having the time of my life; not stuck with a potentially shitty date.  Luckily, because he was so anxious to meet me, we sped up our meeting.  We decided to meet at a Starbucks in a Barnes and Noble, which I thought was a lovely idea since I love both Starbucks and Barnes and Noble.  As I was parking and walking to the Starbucks, I noticed a guy walking by me that looked like “Eccentric Cheeseball” and it was indeed him.  I most certainly thought he was attractive physically, dressed well and in good shape.  We introduced ourselves then he had me walk with him to his car to put some books away.  He had me hold one (even though he didn’t need help holding the books and didn’t bring it into the Starbucks with us…not sure why I was holding it to begin with) called The Female Brain.  While there is nothing wrong with reading up about the opposite sex (and granted, I was basing my judgment on the name of the book), I saw this as a HUGE red flag in that he could quite possibly be one of those people who read a bunch of books  about the opposite sex and believe what they say, but have no tangible experience themselves on the topic.  I brought this up with him, to which he retorted reasoning that he enjoys reading psychological books such as that.  This then later on lead to him discussing the fact that he has over 70 hours in “non-scholastic psychological study” and he continued to remind me throughout our entire date how psychologically sound he was.  Funny thing is, he brought up the fact that he doesn’t even have his associate degree, and that he’s one math class away from finishing that.  Considering the fact that I have a few friends who studied psychology in college and have one friend who is in the process of getting her doctorates, this made me chuckle deep down inside.

We went inside to sit down at Starbucks and he asked me what I wanted.  Weirdly enough though, after asking me what I wanted, he didn’t even offer to pay.  I’m not saying I need every guy to pay for me, but if you’re going to ask me what I want, shouldn’t you be paying?  Anyways, we then further discussed other topics.  Honestly, our entire conversation was so psychologically based, but not in an intellectual way whatsoever.  I felt like he was trying to amateurishly analyze me the entire time.   He then asked me what my favorite animal was.  While this wouldn’t be weird in any other situation, he said that whatever animal I picked would describe my personality completely and how I am as a person.  Again, back to the whole constant analyzation of me as a whole.  He made some other weird comments, such as not consuming anything he wants but only something he needs (in this case, apparently his only needs are water and chicken).  He then contradicted himself thereafter when I asked him if he ever goes out on the weekends and has drinks with his friends, to which he replied yes.  Well as we all know, alcohol is not a need (well…unless you’re an alcoholic, I guess).  He mentioned that he was really social and had been so since a young age, and that he used to be teased because he was so confident, or social, or something of that sort.  He was fairly loud and animated when trying to describe something, and I wouldn’t have been surprised if some people were looking at him thinking “What the fuck…”  Anyways, in a nutshell, this guy either had really strange social experiences, or wasn’t as experienced socially as he claimed to be.  Because he was weird as fuck!  In fact, our topics and conversation were so strange that I will list a couple of the topics here:

-A woman’s menstrual cycle and how it can lead to cancer because it’s not natural for a woman to have a period

-What our purpose of living was and why we each thought we were put here in this life

-Wants vs. Needs and which one is worth satiating (or not)

-How no one in the world has ever had an original thought

While none of these topics are too extreme, for a first date it’s a little too much.  The best part of our entire date was when he found out I was writing a blog about dating.  He had mentioned that he had overheard my friends talking about me trying to date 50 different guys this year and he asked what number he was.  I’m a dumbass (or maybe not) and assumed he just knew about my blog from my friends, so I started talking about it and told him what number he was.  We then started talking about dating in general, and I talked a lot about posting about dating and how a lot of my dates were interesting, to say the least.  He then began to put two and two together.  Apparently, he didn’t know about my blog until I had mentioned it and just thought I was dating around.  He  then asked me if I wrote about every date I went on and had a bit of a worried look on his face, to which I responded “No, I only write about some of them” (haha, sucker).  He made it sound like he had a lot of experience in dating, but his actions and demeanor around me told me otherwise.  I almost felt like he was trying to overcompensate for his lack of social skills by trying to impress me with his “astounding knowledge” of psychology.  I could go on and on and on about how ridiculous this date was all-together but I’ll just leave it at this.  Luckily I had to go to work that night, so I only had to spend 2 hours with him, which was really far too long.

*Positives: He was physically attractive, in shape, plays soccer, is actually (or at least seems to appear) pretty smart, engaging (in a strange way, but nevertheless engaging), dressed well

*Negatives: He was a fucking weirdo, to say the least, analyzed me the entire time, talked about a lot of stuff that shouldn’t be discussed on a first date, didn’t even offer to pay for my drink, sent me the weirdest text messages (don’t forget to check out He Said What?! for the ridiculous messages he sent me), enjoys partying in the suburbs (seriously, his favorite “night club” is in the suburbs), kept calling me “Sweetie” before we had even met, and has nothing whatsoever going for him in life,

Second Date?: Haha, I highly doubt it.  I think he got the idea that I wasn’t into him.  Plus I haven’t gotten any cheesy fucking text messages since our date, so I think it’s safe to say a second date is not in our future.  Maybe he should psychoanalyze himself and how he presents himself to others before he starts analyzing other people.  Just a thought…