Tag Archive | Bashful

Date #28: “Bashful”

How We Met: We met on the (now…in my opinion) infamous dating website that I am part of, What’s Your Price.  He had “winked” at me awhile back and although after I looked at his profile I didn’t find anything of substantial interest, I did think that he seemed somewhat physically attractive.  And since I’m not really saying no to anyone (with the exception of those cheating married bastards and guys who live extremely far away from me), I figured I’d give it a shot.  It did worry me a bit that his profile said he had just gotten out of a relationship, because in my head that was a sign that he was one of those guys who needs to be in a relationship and that he was just trying to find a new person to cling on.  This notion was further corroborated in a message he sent me asking me if I was open to being in a relationship (RED FLAG, RED FLAG).  We had intended on going to dinner a couple of weeks ago but things kept getting in the way.  Finally we found a night where we were both free.  To be honest, I was a bit apprehensive to go on this date (it seems this is a constant in a lot of my dates….).  I’m getting to that point where I haven’t been as excited to go on dates and I feel like it’s more of a job than actually trying to find someone.  And I mean, the whole point of my blog was to eventually find someone.  So with that whole aspect kind of missing, I’ve been bumming.  Anyways, for the sake of my blog and the fact that I hadn’t posted a date post in awhile, I figured I’d go on the date.


*Physical Aesthetics: 8

*Appearance: 6

*Personality: 7

*Manners: 5

*Intelligence: 10

*Confidence: 6

*Overall Rating: 8

The Date: I’m not going to lie….the date went a lot better than I had expected.  And after having gone on it, I am actually very happy that I agreed to go on the date and that I met up with this guy.

“Bashful” decided to pick a restaurant that I have actually been wanting to try for awhile and haven’t gotten around to doing so, so I was actually pretty stoked to go to this restaurant.  I got there a bit early so I sat at the bar and chatted with the bartender.  Of course, like every other bar I go to, I made friends with the bartender and he made me a delicious custom drink with cognac, St. Germain, and a hint of yellow chartreuse.  It was DELICIOUS!  I never thought cognac was something I would enjoy, but the way he made the drink was delicious.

Anyways, when “Bashful” arrived, I was actually kind of awestruck.  While he looked fairly attractive in his profile picture, he was a lot better looking in person than I thought he would be.  Ya, he dressed a little frumpy, but he had just such a sweet face.  We got a table and initially, it was super awkward.  I have a feeling he doesn’t online date (granted, he DID write that he had just gotten out of a relationship on his profile) or know how to make a good first impression to begin with, because I felt like I was doing a lot of the talking.  And while I do love talking, it gets a bit awkward when I’m doing 90% of it.  So I started asking him a bunch of questions (I didn’t know what else to do…) and that most definitely got the conversation flowing.  I found out that he was an English major (as was I!!) and actually ended up getting his MA in English as well.  In addition to that, he also got his MBA in Finance.  This lead to our conversation on the fact that he used to teach English at a community college, but decided not to take that route this semester in order to further work on himself and what he really wants to do in life and to work on a business that he started with some people (in the coffee industry, roasting coffee and selling it to business).  The fact that we had our degrees in common was really exciting for me because I love finding other English majors.  We talked a lot about that…pretty much the basis of the majority of our conversation.  His main focus for English was in the psychoanalysis of literature which was really interesting to me, since mine was creative writing (hence the blog…I’ll eventually write about this in particular).  But psychoanalysis has always fascinated me in literature, so to hear someone’s take on it who truly studied it was awesome.  He started talking about how even how men and women communicate (or more so the lack of the ability to communicate properly) has everything to do with psychoanalysis.  With this he gave me the example of porn.  No joke.  But don’t worry, it’s actually a really smart analysis.  Anyways, he gave the dichotomy of there being male porn and female porn.  Male porn is completely devoid of emotion; he referred to this as “absent desire.”  It’s just straight to the point with no feelings involved whatsoever.  Where as female porn has desire, there’s usually dialogue or some sort of conversation going on besides just straight sex.  Emotion is a huge factor in female porn.  And when you think of it, even if some of us ladies like hardcore porn, he really does have a point.  It’s why we like things such as Twilight (not me, but I’m sure others do) and Fifty Shades of Grey. (Seriously, Wikipedia should love me for how many times I reference things back to their site) And it’s SO true!  He related this back to communication between men and women in that women speak from emotion, while men do not.  Obviously, this isn’t always true, but as a generalization, it most definitely is.  His knowledge about this and just how easy it was for him to turn something like porn into a completely psychoanalytical subject just blew my mind.

While we talked a lot about him, he didn’t really ask me much about myself, which I guess was okay.  Just kind of weird since in his initial message to me he said he wanted to ask me a bunch of things.  The date ended much earlier than I had expected (I had prepared myself for a long night of boring conversation and it only ended up last about 1 hour and 45 minutes), which was both good and bad.  Good in the sense that I don’t really like staying out late on weeknights, but bad in the sense that I actually really enjoyed this guy’s company and I was sad to see it come to such a quick end.  But he was tired from working all day, which is something I completely understand.  We ended the night with a hug and went our separate ways.

*Positives: He’s cute, he’s smart, he has two masters, he majored in English (like myself), he’s super busy with work and life in general, he’s a bit awkward (but in a very endearing way), he’s a total foodie

*Negatives: He’s a bit awkward, he waited for me to bring up things to talk about (but maybe he was just really shy?), he’s just as busy as me, if not even more, his manners aren’t exactly up to par (didn’t walk me to my car really, didn’t let me walk out of the restaurant first, didn’t hold the door open, etc.)

Second Date?: I really do hope so, despite some of his negative qualities, he seemed like a really cool guy that I could find myself actually liking a lot.  =)