Tag Archive | Bad Date

“Stoner”

I apologize for being M.I.A. for an extremely long time.  A lot of changes have been happening in my life – some for good, some for bad.  I will write an update here soon before the end of the  month.  But until then, please enjoy a write-up on a date I went on a few weeks ago.

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How We Met: We had actually “met” back in January at a shitty bar in the ‘burbs (same place I met “Humdrum”) where he was a bouncer at.  I was there for my friend’s birthday and “Stoner” kept smiling at me and checking me out.  As I was leaving, he mentioned that he really liked my straight hair.  And that was that.  A couple of weeks later, I ended up going back to this awful bar since “Indian Warrior” wanted to go out somewhere close to our houses.  That same bouncer was there and I guess he had remembered me from last time.  We talked a little bit more this time.  “Indian Warrior” noticed that he was staring and smiling at me every time I walked by, so she suggested that I keep talking to him.  At the end of the night as we were leaving, he told me that he hoped to see me again.  Being drunk and somewhat upset about how “Future Hubby” had been acting towards me, I was hoping that this guy would ask me for my number, but he didn’t.  So “Indian Warrior” (also drunk) took it upon herself to make it happen.  Such good friends I have, huh?  Anyways, she made it happen and we exchanged numbers.

-Rating:

*Physical Aesthetics: 7 (in a dark bar), but 5 (in a lighted area)

*Appearance: 5

*Personality: 4

*Manners: 7was

*Intelligence: 4

*Confidence: 6

*Overall Rating: 4-5

The Date: So I’m not going to lie, I was actually a bit excited for the date initially.  To the best of my memory, “Stoner” was relatively attractive and seemed fairly interested in getting to know one another.  Granted, he didn’t blow up my phone like most guys do, but I was actually okay with that.  Since we’re both so busy, it took us a bit of time to find a night to actually hang out.  I’m used to guys going after me, so it was a bit strange when he basically prompted me to contact him about the date on the day of, even though he ended up contacting me first anyways.

Earlier in the day, I told him to think of things for us to do.  I didn’t want to do the typical date stuff, because that’s just boring.  So when he called me, he suggested movies (boring), coffee (kinda boring, but better), or go-karting.  Um duh, which one do you think I picked?!  😉  So he offered to pick me up, and even walked up to my door instead of just calling me or texting me to tell me he was outside.  He also opened my door for me to get into the car.  I thought it was all super sweet.  And that’s about the only thing that I thought was sweet.

The minute we get in the car, he’s on his cell phone.  Granted, he was using GPS, but he was seriously GLUED to the thing.  I honestly don’t think he even paid attention to the first few things I said.  He was like in his own little world.  It was like that for about the first ten minutes in the car.  Finally he started talking to me and we made small talk.  I learned right off the bat that this guy was a complete joke.  First off, he definitely looked better in the dark lights of the bar I met him at.  Not attractive AT ALL in the light.  I mean, he wasn’t the ugliest thing out there, but definitely not a looker by any means.  He looked like straight up white trash (sorry if that offends anyone, I just don’t know how else to describe him).  He’s lived in various places, including Hawaii, South Dakota, Oregon, and California.  He graduated high school in South Dakota and from there went straight into construction.  I thought he was about my age, if not a little older or younger, but it turns out he’s actually 7 years older than me.  I think this really surprised me because 1.) He doesn’t look it at all and 2.) he just seemed a lot younger in both personality and maturity.  Based off just our conversations in the car, I could already tell I wasn’t going to like this guy.  Then he had to top it off with the fact that he’s a complete stoner.  Now, I don’t mind occasional drug use here and there.  It’s not personally my thing, but if it’s someone else’s, all the power to them.  But a complete stoner?  Absolutely not.  It most definitely put everything into perspective though (i.e. why he wasn’t listening to anything I was saying, why he would have delayed responses, etc.).

We finally get to the go-kart place and I’m super excited.  Then we find out it’s an hour wait.  Personally, I wouldn’t have minded waiting, but apparently he didn’t want to wait.  So we drove around trying to find something to do.  I suggested coffee so we found a Starbucks.  We got there right as they were closing so we grabbed some drinks and left.  We drove around for a bit and I was ready to just ask him to take me home, especially when I saw that he was taking me to the vicinity of his apartment.  He mentioned going to a bar around the area so I suggested we go there for a drink.  Thank god he agreed with the plan, since at this point I was already scared he was going to drug me or something.

At the bar, we order some drinks.  I had a wine, and just on a side note, it was the shittiest wine I’ve had in awhile.  So that just made my mood even worse.  Anyways, at this point we were barely talking, just saying things here and there with a lot of awkward moments of silence.  We talked a bit more here, and we have absolutely NOTHING in common.  I mean, the guy doesn’t even like sports.  I was so excited that the Nuggets game was on the t.v., and he could care less.  While I watched, he just kept playing on his phone.  I tried being nice, but my I’m-fucking-bored-and-clearly-not-interested persona started coming out.  At one point, after getting done in the restroom, he tried hugging me and kissing my cheek and I literally pushed him away, completely disgusted.  I guess this is just tangible proof that guys really don’t get hints whatsoever.  I wonder if anyone at the bar saw this awkward moment.  After this, shit got even more awkward than they already were.  He had one more drink while I just sat there sipping some water.  I really had to pee, but I was so scared he was going to slip me a roofie or something that I just held it in.  He had this really annoying stoner laugh that was just super obnoxious and I wanted to cringe every time he laughed.

Finally, after his third beer we left.  I was actually really apprehensive to have him drive me home since he mentioned he doesn’t really drink and then proceeded to drink 3 beers within less than an hour.  In the car, he apologized for making me uncomfortable by kissing me, to which I responded that it was okay (I lied).  At the intersection right before the area I live in, he most definitely ran a red arrow turning left, which scared the fuck out of me.  Luckily, there were no other cars in sight.  Either this guy was super drunk or super high…or maybe a bit of both.  When dropping me off, he got out of his car, opened my door for me, and walked me all the way to my door, stating that he was a good guy (something he had previously mentioned….).  He leaned in for a hug, but luckily not a kiss.  Phew.

I can honestly say, worst date.  Ever.

*Positives: He has some manners, he paid for everything

*Negatives: He didn’t appear to be listening to anything I had to say most of the time, he has a child and baby mama drama, he didn’t go to college, he’s not the brightest crayon in the box, he is a complete stoner (seriously got excited talking about weed), he had to mention he was a good guy on more than one occasion, is not attractive at all, we had nothing in common, nothing to really talk about.  It was all negatives, really.

Second Date?: He alluded to it on a couple of occasions, saying I was the first girl that he met at the bar that he actually went on a date with and that actually kept true to her word.  But if he texts me again, I’m most certainly telling him I’m not interested.

Date #21: “Kooky”

How We Met:  We met through the dating website What’s Your Price.  I hadn’t been having much luck on the website, even though my last date that I met on there, “Dream Maker” was AWESOME!!  I just hadn’t been getting a lot of “winks” (as they are called) on the website and when I did, they were men from other states.  Now, as much as I would love to fly out to another state to be paid to hang out with someone, it’s still a sketchy situation.  Anyways, “Kooky” winked at me, I gave him my offer and that was that.  We discussed when we would both be available, I suggested a place, and it was set.  Initially, like almost every other date I’ve been on, I was apprehensive to go on this one.  My apprehension with this was that he was older than me…much older.  49.  Being in my mid-twenties, that’s a bit of an age gap.  Having an affinity for younger men (yes, I rob the cradle, fucking deal with it), this territory was certainly new to me.  And while the oldest guy I had ever gone for (before this date) was 12 years older than me, this was still extremely different.  Especially considering I did not meet him in person.  Anyways, yes I was interested to see what would come of it.

-Rating:

*Physical Aesthetics: 8 (for his age)

*Appearance: 5

*Personality: 5

*Manners: 6

*Intelligence: 5

*Confidence: I’ll say 7 but really it’s more so N/A (I really couldn’t gauge)

*Overall Rating: 5

The Date:

Since I hadn’t gone on a date in SO long (my own doing, really), I figured I should probably go out with this guy before I went on my vacation.  I really needed to pack which is why I took the night off from work, but I got most of it done pretty early so I decided to not bail on this date.  “Kooky” left the decision up to me as to where we would meet, so I had him meet me at a bar that I had really been wanting to go to for awhile.  It’s a speakeasy style bar and I just LOVE those types of bars, so I figured what better way to experience that place than with a new person!

I got there before him, so I got us a table.  And the most awkward thing happened…sitting at the table right next to me…and when I say right next to me, I mean I could hear his conversation with the person he was with, was a guy I went to high school with and traveled to Europe with in high school.  It took me a minute to realize it was him, but when I did, it was most definitely awkward.  While it takes a lot to embarrass me (I do a good job of embarrassing myself on a regular basis so it’s almost normal to me now), this situation did in the sense that the guy I was meeting up with was not only a guy I met online, but a guy who is almost twice my age.  We both acted like we didn’t recognize each other though which was wonderful.  “Kooky” finally arrived, and (thank god…maybe not, I don’t know?) he looked just like his picture on his profile.  I’ve heard so many horror stories of people not looking the same in person as they did in their profile picture, so I feel lucky to have had similar aesthetics in both profile and in person for the two people I’ve met online.

Honestly, I’ve had some really bad dates (as I’m sure you can/have read in my past posts), but this one was pretty bad.  He was a nice guy, but we had NOTHING to talk about.  There were moments where there was an awkward lull in conversation, and I literally had to think of anything I could to initiate conversation once more.  I felt that it was me doing most of the talking and him kind of just answering.  He works as the manager of a facility which deals with senior citizens with mental disabilities.  His company helps aid these disabled citizens in finding homes, jobs, etc.  This is most definitely an admirable job, but I felt that he himself could perhaps use the help he is giving to these people.  The way he spoke to me and just spoke in general was very strange…I’d say eccentric, but it was beyond that.  It was almost as if he had a mental deficiency himself.  But he did graduate from Dartmouth so I’m not too sure what to think of that either.  The conversation was very forced the entire time and we had NOTHING in common.  Basically, if I liked something, he hated it.  We talked a lot about alcohol and drinking (I’m a bartender, that shit always comes up), and he pretty much hates every alcohol I like.  I love vodka and whiskey, he likes gin.  Seriously??  Nothing in common.  I hate to blame the age gap, but I’m going to go with the probability that a lot of it has to do with him being almost twice my age.

We finally found common ground on the next bar that we went to (which ironically is the same bar/restaurant that I went to with “Almost Birthday Twin”) when we started talking sports.  While we still weren’t into the same sports (he loves football and nothing else really, I love basketball), the conversation flowed much better when talking about this.  At one point I had to pee, so I left my drink at the bar (duh).  Honestly, I was terrified he was going to roofie me (yes I can be a bit of a hypochondriac), so I set my beer up in such a way that I would know if it was touched when I got back.  And I really did think my beer moved and that he had roofied me when I got back.  But I never blacked out so I guess not?  Haha.  Anyways, the night ended about 2 1/2 hours after it started, with a nice little bonus at the end ($$$).

*Positives: He was a nice guy, he looked like what he did in his profile picture, he paid for everything (but I’m not sure if that’s a positive considering the website says they have to)

*Negatives: We have absolutely nothing in common, he’s weird as fuck, he’s old, I think he may have his own mental disability…honestly I could go on and on and on…

*Second Date?: Ya, I don’t think so.