This was a topic suggested to me by New Single Guy (thanks for the suggestion!! =) ). In a nutshell (or you can just refer to my post “Whooah, (I’m) halfway there…” in the comments section) he was curious as to what my thoughts were on why I’ve made it to 25 dates and have found something wrong with each of them.
I’m going to start off this post by admitting that there are actually some guys that I’ve written about that I do/did like and would have actually considered dating. For example, and maybe my post about him didn’t make this clear but, I thought “Boss Man” was actually really awesome and I was surprised at how much I could actually see myself dating him. The only issue with him is that when it comes to being a workaholic, he takes the cake. I look at myself being a workaholic, and then I look at him and he beats me by 100%. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it is when neither of us have time to even get together to hang out. We’ve been trying to find time to hang out, but he’s now working 6 days a week till about 3-4 am everyday, which means he sleeps during the day. It’s a bit difficult to find time in that situation. Another person I would date is “Perfect Ass” ; his mom has even made mention before on how she wishes I would date him. The only issue with that is he lives in another state (and now has a girlfriend). Plus, I dated his friend “Dolphin Teeth” for a year off and on, so that may or may not make things awkward (not for me, but for him maybe, or “Dolphin Teeth”…not that I give a shit about him). Also, I’m so close to him and his family, if something happened between us that wasn’t good, I wouldn’t just be losing a friend, I’d be losing a bunch of friends. And of course, “The Artist”. I would love nothing more than to have a chance to date him and ge to know him better. Only problem is, he lives in New York. And I’m not about to do long distance with someone I barely know.
But enough about them. Here is a list of reasons why I think I’ve made it to 25 Dates without having found “The One Who Will End This Blog”:
1.) I’m Very Picky: Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those people who will completely write someone off because they’re not “perfect” or because they don’t fit every single thing I desire in a man. But at the same time, I’m not going to go for a guy just because he’s good to me, takes care of me, or treats me well. Call me cheesy, but as the saying goes, I won’t settle for anything less than butterflies. If a guy doesn’t entice me, doesn’t make me take notice, doesn’t make me feel like I just want to jump on him every minute (okay maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but you get my point)…then why should I date him? I’ve settled in the past and it was the most miserable I had ever been. Chemistry is extremely important to me and I won’t settle for anything less than that. A guy can have all the qualities I desire, but if I don’t feel that chemistry, I just can’t do it. This is extremely important to me, so I think this is the main reason as to my inability to find “TOWWETB”.
2.) I’m Scared: I think deep down inside (or maybe in a shallower area of my body), something in me is scared….terrified of finding “TOWWETB”. I know that doesn’t mean I am stuck for life and that I have to marry the dude and live happily ever after with him, but I think I’m still scared. Just like every other female in the world, I over think things. What if he ends up being the wrong guy for me altogether and I end up wasting precious years of my life with him when I could have been playing the field? What if he turns out to be the right guy and I never kiss/fuck another guy in my life again? What if I turn out to be like a lot of people I know and end up just settling for him, even though deep down inside I don’t even really like him that much? (ha, that one would probably never happen) What if the right guy DOES come along, but I’m dating Mr. Wrong and I don’t get my chance? What if something much better comes along and for some reason I can’t get out of whatever it is with the guy I’m with? So many “what if’s” and I know it’s silly to think that way, but I can’t help it.
3.) I’m Very (probably too) Independent: I know every girl likes to think they’re independent and say they’re independent, but I seriously am to the very extreme. Sometimes, the mere thought of having to see someone or talk to someone everyday sickens me. Granted I’ve done it in the past with people I like and definitely had issues with it, but I got used to it. Still. There are moments where I think, “Fuck, do I SERIOUSLY have to hang out with them everyday, and if not everyday, at least a couple of times a week?” I love my independence, perhaps a bit too much. I like the idea of not having to answer to anyone, of not having to worry about whether I’m upsetting someone by my actions, not having to feel I’m being tied down in any way whatsoever, being able to do whatever I want, whenever I want. I also really value my alone time. Especially as of late, I’ve really just wanted to be alone. Since I’m so busy, having alone time is very far and few between, so the last thing I want to do is spend my alone time with someone else. Ew.
4.) I’m Having Too Much Fun Being Single: I’ve gotta say, being single is pretty damn fun!! Again, going back to the independence thing, I like the fact that I don’t have to answer to anyone, that I don’t have to feel obligated to hang out with someone, that I’m not required to talk to someone everyday and if I don’t, their feelings are hurt…just the little things like that. Plus, I have a lot of guy friends. I know all girls say that, but when I say I do, it’s so many that when I date a guy they’re a bit intimidated by the fact that most of my friends are guys. And I’m not about to drop my friends just because of some guy I’m dating. Lastly…being single means lots of free booze. I’m sure if I was with someone I’d still get free booze, but being single it’s guaranteed. Don’t get me wrong, I will buy myself a drink if need be, but half the time I’m being told to put away my card or cash. So really, it’s how I survive life.
5.) I’m Competitive: This reason has everything to do with my blog. Being a competitive person, if I set myself a goal that I know is achievable, or even a bit harder than achievable but still achievable, I will get to my goal. Nothing can stop me. I put myself in this mindset and become so determined. It’s like a competition against myself. So this blog is kind of a win lose situation for me. While I do eventually want to find someone, it’s still a numbers game and I have yet to get to that goal number. Maybe I will look back once I’m done (If I finish, I’m so fucking behind…) and realize one of these guys actually was “TOWWETB”. Or maybe I’ll just find him along the way. =)