Random: We’re “JUST” Friends (and random sidenotes)

Sidenote: Before I actually get to writing about the topic I’ve chosen, I’d like to apologize for neglecting everyone, including my blog itself.  I just haven’t really been in the mood to go on dates…I’m kind of in another “I Hate Guys” period (refer to my post “I ‘Hate’ Men?” to understand just how I’m feeling).  I just kind of feel like nothing ever works out with me and any guy and it’s really bumming me out at the moment.  But alas, I guess that’s the reason why I have this blog.  Ha.  Anyways, I was also so caught up in the Olympics that I literally sat on my couch for 5 hours a night for 2 weeks and became absolutely worthless.  Yeah.  Okay, I’m done.

Guy friends…friends with benefits…”just” friends….what does any of that really mean?  For the longest time, I truly believed that men and women could be just friends…strictly, platonic friends.  And I still believe this – to a certain extent.  I remember guys I know (and some ladies too) always saying how guys and girls could never be just friends and no matter what one thinks, there’s always one person in the “friendship” who wants something more.  I always disregarded this notion, because I myself had plenty of (sometimes I think too many) guy friends who truly were just my friends.  And to reiterate, I still believe this idea that guys and girls CAN be just friends if they want to be.  But I won’t lie, there have been many instances as of late which has led me to believe that maybe (just in some situations, of course) guys and girls CAN’T just be friends.

I have a TON of guy friends – to the point where I think about my future wedding (if it ever happens) and how my bridal party would probably have to have some guys in it considering I’m closer to a lot more guys than I am girls.  I tell these guys all my girl problems just like I would if they were a girl, do things with them that I would do with my girlfriends, and pretty much trust them with my life.  In fact, there are a few guys in my life that I would tell my secrets to that I won’t tell even some of my girlfriends.  I have so many guy friends and hang out with them so often that I end up being the girl at the bar who does not get hit on by any guys because of this factor.  Which is fine with me.  These guys are always asking why I never bring girls for them, yet they fail to notice that I never hang out with girls (I’m always with them…duh!).  I won’t lie, I may have made out with a few (a lot) of them, but it never went anywhere more than that and none of us have ever made it weird after either.  Really, they’re just some of my very best friends who I love to death more than anything and yeah.

But lately, within the past year or two, I’ve definitely had some of these guy friends changing their tune.  We’d go from being super close and being JUST friends to them all of a sudden admitting that they have had some sort of feelings for me either in the past or in present day.  Or they just straight up start hitting on me/flirting with me…and not just friendly flirting that we normally partake in.  These aren’t just some acquaintance type, party friends either – they’re like fairly good friends of mine.  And when this happens, I become confused.  Really confused.  What happened to the strictly platonic friendship we once had??  And what is it about now that they’ve all of a sudden decided to reveal these feelings??  Being a girl, of course I take this too far and start to ponder whether all my guy friends are just being my friend to inevitably try and sleep with me.  Then I become even more confused and try to avoid thinking about it all together.  Ha.

Some lovely ladies I know think the best people to date are your guy friends – that way you already know how they are and how they will treat you.  One lovely lady I know will ONLY date guys she is friends with first and does not date “strangers” whatsoever.  But to be honest, I’ve really never been that type.  Every guy I’ve dated has been someone I was attracted to from the get-go and I was never friends with them first.  This doesn’t mean I wouldn’t ever date a guy who I was friends with first, because believe me, I have some hot friends!   It’s just how the cookie crumbles in my dating life.  I don’t necessarily believe the whole saying about people being in the friend zone and staying there either.  Which is why this all confuses me even more….do I go for these friends when they give me indication that they want something more?  Do I leave it alone and pretend it never happened or that this is just a normal occurrence?  Do I worry about ruining my friendship with them?

This leads back to my initial question…Can guys and girls really, ever be,  just friends?  I really am interested in hearing everyone’s opinion on this (both lovely ladies and the guys out there who keep up with my blog) so please let me know!!

Andddddd….back to another sidenote…..

Sidenote:  While I have been bumming about men lately, I won’t lie there IS a guy who I am interested in…based on completely false pretenses though.  I’ve noticed him at my gym (yep, stereotypical jock boy, whatever) for the past couple of months.  But I’m not the one who goes to the gym to hit on guys – I am there strictly to work out.  I look like shit, try not to talk to anyone, nor make eye contact.  But I have most definitely noticed him.  He’s hot, tall, and ripped.  I love his face…like literally his face is hot!!  Anyways, I’m not really sure how to go about approaching him.  I (creepily) stare at him as much as I can which is as far as I’ve gone.  He talked to me once…to ask if he could use the same machine I was using with me.  In response, because I was so into my work out, I think I rudely said yeah and didn’t smile back when he smiled at me.  So yeah.  I feel like a fucking little school girl again, which is obnoxious and exciting all at the same time.  Anyways, help with this would also be greatly appreciated.  I’m at my ugliest at the gym, so I have nothing to help me out.  Though I would like to make him one of my dates……

8 thoughts on “Random: We’re “JUST” Friends (and random sidenotes)

  1. Hiya, I’ve just started reading your blog. Interesting post – kind of challenges ideas about the friend zone! I’m still not sure of the answer to the When Harry Met Sally conundrum. And I hope to read something about you making a move on Gym Guy in the near future. I know women talk about not feeling like they look attractive at the gym, but I bet that if he would fancy you in “real life” he’ll fancy you at the gym too. Guys know that women look different at the gym and take that into account. And just think: if he does fancy you at the gym, he’ll be even more impressed with the “date” version of you!

    • Firstly, thank you so much for checking out my blog!!! =) Thanks for the support with Gym Guy, I guess my next question would be how to approach him. Again going back to the idea of being at the gym v. being out and about looking great, I’m not really sure how to approach him. Do I just go up to him and say hi and awkwardly try to start a conversation? Do I ask him for “help” at the gym with something? What is a good way to speak to him without being awkward?

      • That’s a good question, but I’m afraid I can’t think of a good answer at the moment! I think yes, just try to find a way to start a conversation. If there is some way to ask for “help” then that could be a good opener. Try to chat enough so that next time you see him you can say something like “how was your weekend” and then you might get clues as to whether he’s single. If he’s interested in you then hopefully he’d make the effort to talk more with you too. If he doesn’t seem to care then it’s probably not a goer. If I were a single guy and a woman seemed to be chatting me up at the gym and I was interested, I’d try to take some of the initiative too.

        • Thank you so much for the tips!! I’m still being a little school girl and am completely nervous, but we both have most definitely (blatantly) taken notice of one another. I guess I just need to get the guts to make the first move!! =)

  2. I think under certain circumstances, men and women can be friends. If it’s a one-on-one kind of friendship then I don’t think that’ll fly – I think inevitably someone will develop feelings and want to push things further. But if everybody is part of a larger group of friends, then that may work, like it does for me.

    Personally, I know many of the women I’m friends with (even in a group), I may be amenable to dating if we were both single. Assuming, of course, that I haven’t already decided that they’re not my type.

    • I can completely see your point on the whole one-on-one friendship v. part of a larger group. I guess that makes a lot of sense – with the guys I mentioned above, I was friends with them in part of a larger group, but also on an individual, one-on-one type way. Interesting for sure!!!

  3. You know, I consider myself to be one of your better guy friends, and all I can say is we’ve never “made out for fun!” Needless to say I’m deeply hurt….LOL!! xoxo…..

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