(Note: Refer to Date #19: “Doc” for background to this particular date)
Despite my lack of feeling of butterflies with “Doc” during the first date, I decided to go on a second date with him. Why not, he’s such a nice guy and I had fun the last time?? Plus, I thought maybe if I gave him a second chance, maybe my feelings would change (they didn’t, but I’ll explain that later) and I would actually fall for him. And it was his birthday this past Wednesday, so I felt somewhat obligated to hang out with him at least once more.
The plan was for him to make me dinner at his place and then we would just hang out (AWWW…I know). Unfortunately, he had to work later than he thought, so we ended up just getting take out. I, of course, brought the wine. When I first arrived at his house, his front door was wide open which I thought was super strange. When I knocked (I have manners, I didn’t just walk in), no one answered so I just stood there at the front door for 5 minutes or so. I finally called him and it turns out he had went to go grab our food and left the front door open. What the fuck?! Maybe it’s my California roots, but I NEVER leave anything unlocked, let alone wide open. I mean, you never know who’s going to just come in and steal all your shit or murder you. Seriously. Shit like that happens, even in the safest of neighborhoods. Anyways, he finally got back home and I lectured him about leaving the door open, which completely amused him.
He ended up getting us Chinese food (which for some reason I agreed to earlier in the day, even though I hate Chinese food) and it was actually pretty good. He got us Moo Shu Pork, which I had never had before, but I really liked it. So hey, yay for that!!! I inquired on what he was going to make if he had gotten off earlier, and here is where I knew my feelings would not change about him. His response was this: “It’s a surprise for next time…if there is a next time…I mean if you want to hang out again.” AHHHHHH!!! Why am I ridden with completely insecure men?! I must have some invisible sign on my forehead that says, “If you’re insecure, please be ridiculously attracted to me!!” I cannot express how much I despise men who come off as insecure – it’s SO unattractive!! Anyways, this comment so early in the night pretty much set the mood for the entire night.
After dinner, I suggested a movie, because I didn’t know what else to do. If it was someone I was super into, the suggestion would probably be more along the lines of sex (or at least headed in that direction). We ended up watching American Wedding since he hates scary movies and that’s what I wanted to watch (seriously…who the fuck hates scary movies?! You know who hates scary movies…losers.). It was actually a pretty good movie. Sometime during the movie, he kissed me a couple of times, and then at one point he tried bringing me on his lap which I refused. Haha. Okay, that’s not really funny, that’s kind of a dick move on my part. But I just wasn’t feeling it. After the movie was done, we talked for a bit about random stuff…and here’s where he fucked himself over once again by telling me maybe I should find a Hispanic/Latino guy since I loved Mexican food and thought Hispanic women were beautiful…seriously?? Are you TRYING to push me away?? Besides, I already found one, “Mr. Big (Present)” – he just needs to stop being dumb. Anyways, after about an hour I was super tired and I could tell he was too, so I opted to call it a night. We did make the realization that it was 30 minutes into this 26th birthday, so I wished him happy birthday and gave him a birthday kiss. I also inquired as to why he didn’t go out with his friends for his birthday (I would have), to which he gave an awkward/lame excuse about not getting off early enough. That didn’t really make sense considering he got off at 8 and that’s not really that late….anyways…What’s super sweet is that he did offer me his guest bedroom to sleep in if I didn’t want to drive, but I thought that would be super awkward all-together so I just drove home. He walked me to my car, we made out a little bit, and then I went home. The End. Completely anti-climactic.
*Positives: He’s a complete sweetheart, total gentleman, really good to converse with, he’s cute (if I said he was better looking in my previous entry, I change my mind, he’s just okay), laid back, easy to get along with
*Negatives: His insecure side is slowly coming out, I can’t tell if he’s just a bit socially awkward or if I make him nervous (or maybe it’s a combination of the two), and of course….*drum roll*…..I feel no butterflies with him whatsoever. He doesn’t move me in any way, and I almost feeling like I’m forcing myself to hang out with him. God that makes me sound like such a bitch…I don’t mean it that way. I truly do enjoy hanging out with him, I just feel like I’m trying to force some feeling that isn’t there. And it’s sad because everything else about him is great. He doesn’t even obnoxiously blow up my phone constantly like some (most) guys do. But even making out with him seems like I’m just in a movie, acting…no passion or feeling whatsoever.
So will I go on another date with him? Probably. I really, truly do enjoy hanging out with him…as a friend. I think I need to make clear that things aren’t going to go anywhere between us before feelings get hurt.