(Side note: Ironically, I’m watching “The Bachelorette” finale while writing this (I’ve never watched this show before), so I apologize for anything grammatically incorrect and/or anything that doesn’t make sense or doesn’t sound like me whatsoever in the following entry)
This is an idea that’s ran through my thoughts for many, many years. The idea of finding the perfect person for you – the person you’re meant to be with for the rest of your life, your soul mate….but at the wrong time of your life. At a time where you’re not ready to settle down in any such way and are just wanting to experience everyone and everything, or at a time where you’re tied down to someone else, who you know is probably not someone you’re going to be with for the rest of your life, but fits your life for the moment. With this, I also wonder if other people (especially guys I date) think about this idea as well.
When I was young and dumb and naive, I always thought that once you found the one, you found the one. That was that. You date for awhile, get engaged, then get married and live happily ever after forever and ever. I never thought of the trials and tribulations that two people have to go through before they can decide that they’re meant to be together forever. I also never thought of maybe meeting someone who is “the one”, but not realizing it till later in life, after having gone through other people (in some people’s cases, LOTS of other people), just to arrive at the person who has been there all along.
While I am still young and in some sense, still dumb and naive, I think my whole perspective about finding the one has most definitely changed from when I was younger. Being the hopeless romantic that I am (damn those Disney movies that skewed reality for me), I’ve thought that plenty (and by plenty, I really mean just a few…like 3 or 4) of guys through my life could be “the one.” I thought that that was that – I had finally met them. Only to be dissuaded later on by some imperfection that I had initially disregarded and probably purposely chose to ignore. But even with that being said, I still wonder if one of these guys are the one…I mean, how do I know one of them won’t come back to me in the future and confess their undying love for me? Granted, when I am truly DONE with a guy, I’m done – I don’t ever want to have anything intimate with them ever again, and a friendship is not something I really desire either. But, what if? For the longest time, I really did think “Mr. Big (Past)” could have been the one, and I (stupidly) convinced myself that things weren’t working with us at the moment because we just weren’t ready to come to terms with that. When I was finally done with him for good, that thought of him being “the one” ceased to cross my mind all-together. But what if he truly is the one for me, but just came into my life at the wrong time? What if we’re meant to be together later on in life? It’s such an insane thing to think about. With all that being said, as soon as “Mr. Big (Past)” and I were finished for good, a couple of his friends, who I had become fairly good friends with as well and were always so good to me, confessed to me that they had always had a thing for me and if it hadn’t been for “Mr. Big (Past)”, they would have pursued something with me. So then that got me to thinking, what if one of them were actually the one and I was just so blinded to see it before?
They always say that once you find the right person, you know it for a fact. But I personally think that you have to go through a lot, both with and without a person (and both the positive and the negative) in order to figure out whether they’re the right one for you. While I do believe some people are lucky enough to find their person without having to deal with the drama, agony, and frustration of dating around, the rest of us have to go through those tribulations in order to truly figure it out.
So…even with my blog and all the different men, the question still remains: do I think that one of these dates of mine could be The One?? Do I have an inkling that maybe me and one of these guys will end up together, forever, one day?? Is there something I’m not telling everyone and there’s actually someone I haven’t written about that I may think is the one?? I’ll leave it up to your imagination to decide the answer to this one….;-)