Date #7: “Perfect Ass”

How We Met: We met back in 2006 at a party he was throwing at his house.  At the time I was seeing (or more so hooking up) with his friend “Dolphin Teeth.”  He has always been so nice to me, right from the get go.  He truly possess what I feel is that Midwest charm – he’s genuinely polite and a true gentleman.  Plus he has a great posterior, hence the nickname – he’s not an asshole by any means if that’s what you’re thinking by the nickname.  Over some years we became really good friends and hung out every weekend at the very least.  He eventually moved back to the Midwest to live with his dad, but he comes back to town every so often.  Every time he comes into town, we make it a point to see each other at least once during his stay, whether it be going out to the bars or just hanging out and watching a movie.


*Physical Aesthetics: 8

*Physical Appearance: 9

*Personality: 10

*Manners: 10+

*Intelligence: 6

*Confidence: 10

*Overall Rating: 9

The Date: Before “Perfect Ass” had moved back to the Midwest, we had the tradition of going on our “Olive Garden Dates,” as we would call it, once every month.  Ironically, those dates usually always fell sometime around my period.  So what better than to go to our favorite place for this date!  Though I will say, I was not on my period for this one.  Haha.

We of course ordered our usual Alfredo dipping sauce for the bread sticks, and I had my usual Peach Iced Tea.  We ended up sharing something that neither of us had gotten before, and it actually turned out to be pretty good.  We hadn’t seen each other since he came out here for his birthday back at the end of last year, so we had a lot of catching up to do.  The last time I had seen him, he had this crazy girlfriend.  Now, when I say crazy, I mean seriously, CRAZY.  When I first met her, she seemed like a very sweet girl.  But the more I got to know her, the crazier she got.  She would yell at “Perfect Ass” for no reason out of the blue, she would physically abuse him (literally….he had marks on him one time), and completely berate him.  The thing that makes her even crazier is the fact that she never thought she was doing anything wrong; she thought everyone else was overreacting and she was sane.  She has a child who is about 4 years old (I think…) and she would expect “Perfect Ass” to stay home with her and HER kid when he came out here to visit, even though he was here to see his family and friends.  She would get mad when he would go outside on the porch to just talk to his friends and none of us liked her.  Pretty sure she hated me too, so I guess it’s all good.

The point of that whole long story is that he finally, after 2 years I think it was, ended things with her.  It was a relief to everyone.  When I say everyone, I mean his friends and family alike.  Not a soul liked this horrible girl.  I’m not sure her own child even liked her…sad day.  Anyways, we all thought he was going to get back with her after a few days or so of being broken up (as is the trend with him), but he told me he was done for good which made me happy.  It turned out he was in town applying for a job out here.  He hears back in about 3-4 weeks whether he gets the job (fingers crossed!) which means….HE MIGHT BE MOVING BACK!!  Yayyyyy!!  This also means that if he does, we may be moving in together!  No, not like that.  Just as friends of course haha!

I think the best part about dinner is that “Dolphin Teeth” called him a couple of times within the two hours we were there.  On the last call, all I could think was, “‘Perfect Ass’ doesn’t even need a girlfriend, he has ‘Dolphin Teeth'” since he had been calling so much.  My thought process was correct as “Perfect Ass” ended the conversation with an, “I love you.”  You may think I’m joking, but I can assure you I’m not.  I laughed hysterically after that and him shit the rest of the night.

We ended up going back to his mom’s house after since that was where he was staying while he was in town.  We hung out with his sisters, his mom, and  even “Dolphin Teeth” made an appearance…can’t keep two lovers away from each other for too long ;-).  We watched a horrible movie that he picked out and that was about it!

*Positives: It was a lot of fun, we always have a great time together doing whatever, there was no pressure whatsoever in anything

*Negatives: I’m super allergic to his mom’s house with all the dogs and cats they have in there, I never thought I’d have to compete with “Dolphin Teeth” for someone’s attention…hahaha

Second Date?: Duh!!  He’s one of my closest friends, so that’s an obvious no brainer.  And if he moves back, it’s going to be Olive Garden Dates at least once a month again!

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